I apologize for not writing here more often, my friends; I've been really busy as of late and have been taking care of a lot of important things one after another. This includes paying the rent and what bills I can as they come in, all the while budgeting very hard so that I'm not completely out of money before I get paid again (something that may be a distinct possibility anyhow), talking/writing to Lady, working on my thesis, and working on stuff for my students in my summer class.
I suppose I should start with the summer class stuff first, as for the moment, it's one of the biggest issues I have to deal with. My summer class meets once a week, on Tuesday nights, from 6:30 to 9:20. If you think that a class that meets once a week really wouldn't require a lot of work or prep from the instructor before he teaches it, you would be sadly mistaken. The convenience of teaching one night a week creates many more inconveniences around it, including the fact that it's not on the main campus, but the west campus (as mentioned before), meaning that anything I need to print/make copies of before class must be done before I teach. Today (as it's almost 2AM), this will entail me getting to my office on the main campus in about twelve hours or so, printing/making copies of all this stuff, and then getting back in my car to drive to the west campus for class tonight before I can come home. While that's not necessarily difficult, of course, it's just another added layer to the stuff I have to do in order to teach this class.
As I've not written here since before I taught my first night class last week, I will say that for the most part, the students seem engaged and happy to be there (well, I don't know about happy, but they're ready to work), and they realize that this will be an accelerated course with an accelerated schedule, with a paper due every two or three weeks. Their first one is due on June 12, and I'm giving them the literature/the assignment for it tonight, as well as taking them to the library for next week's class. However, and this is interesting to note -- only 13 or my 25 enrolled students showed up to class last Tuesday night. I'm guessing the rest either forgot they'd enrolled in a summer course, or will end up dropping it (because if they don't, they'll fail, obviously). It should be interesting to see, as the summer progresses, how many of them stick around.
As for other things going on? Well...
There are a lot of private matters I don't write about on the blog for obvious reasons, most of them involving myself or my friends and family. While I am an open book to most people in my life I really care about (so, all like, fifteen of you), on my blog here I am a fairly private person if I can be. I don't gossip or tell other people's stories or anything like that here -- I just write about me. And even if there are things going on around me at times, I won't write about them here until I have the benefit of hindsight, if at all. Because of that, this summer I've found that I've become a fairly reclusive person, though it's not as much by choice as it is by circumstance, summer heat (already, yes) and being very, very poor. Also, when I'm home, poor, and it's very quiet, I tend to think about lots of things that keep me awake in the middle of the night, as I actually have time to think about all of those things. As much as I like the majority of my time being free, those things and the fact that I have no money constantly eat at me during the summer, and therefore make my summer really, really suck.
Not to mention the fact that it's almost 100 degrees every day, too. Ahem. Yes.
I haven't gotten to talk to Lady much over the past week or so, and I was worried about her because she'd been quiet. I did talk to her on Saturday and yesterday, though, and she's fine. Back home with her family, taking care of the household stuff there, about to start work in two weeks or so. I was hoping we'd be able to see each other again before she started work, but at this juncture that appears to be not only time-prohibitive, but cost-prohibitive as well. I wanted to order her train tickets or Moneygram her some gas money for her car -- which I could and may still do, I don't know -- but the window for her to be able to visit me this summer shortens with each passing day, and is complicated by my teaching and her being able to get back in time to start work. This obviously dismays each of us to a large extent, but I'm not sure there's a whole lot that can be done about it at this point. She'll be working from the middle of June to the middle of August with no real breaks, so we'll have to deal with whatever happens (or doesn't happen), I suppose.
Jay sent me a text yesterday afternoon saying that Rae is catching a train out of Newton on Thursday night, and wanted to know if I was up for hanging out and shootin' the shit with them that afternoon and evening. While I am totally up for it, there are so many background variables going on right now that I don't know exactly if I'll be able to do it. Most of these are, again, things that I can't exactly write about here, but I will say that for the most part, it's nothing bad. It's just stuff I have to take care of and stuff that needs to be done. Because of this, I've not yet replied to his text and probably won't until at least this evening. Also, it's not like I have the money to go out and do anything fun, really. I barely have money for groceries at this point.
I should probably go into that too, a little bit anyway. I'm pretty much broke, folks. The entirety of my paycheck on Friday -- the last paycheck of the spring semester -- went into my rent, as did about $100 more. My groceries two nights ago were purchased on my Amazon credit card, as I don't have enough money in my bank account now to buy groceries or put gas in my car and pay the bills as they come in. I still have a credit card with a $500 limit that I've never used -- I've saved it for emergencies like if the car blows a major part, or if I have to very quickly get back home on a flight or train (or if Lady has to do the same), which, if I have no alternative and don't get help from my parents, will probably have to go towards paying my car insurance at the end of June. Even when it's incredibly hot outside (and it has been, already), I can't run my air conditioner more than an hour or two per night, and only when I absolutely need to, like when it's 95 upstairs in the house, because I can't afford the electric bill it creates. My life right now sucks, folks. I can't afford anything and I can't even go out and have any fun (like to see a movie or to go to McDonald's for dinner for something different) because I don't even have the spare cash for that. Two bags of food for the cats, which will feed them for about two months or so, was $19, and I almost cried at that. Yeah. That's how bad my money situation is. I have no idea how I'm going to make it through the rest of the summer, folks. I can't charge my rent to a credit card, and even if I could, my credit card wouldn't cover all of it. I have about 75 days to go before I get my fall student loans -- money that I desperately, desperately need right now, not 75 days from now. I don't need more credit cards or gift cards or even actual cash -- I need to find a way to somehow get more money into my bank account, and soon. I don't know when the first summer pay will clear for us summer GTAs -- I've been told that it's June 8, and that there will be no interruption in our normal pay cycles, but who knows if that will actually be true or if it will clear on time. I guess, really, for the most part I am just really nervous, not only about that but about a lot of different things.
In the meantime, in the rest of my overnight and morning hours, I need to continue to drink coffee and ready my lesson plans for my students this evening, take a shower, and try not to think too much about the troubling things. That's about all I can really do right now.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Friday, May 18, 2012
Life, or Some Semblance Anyway
The past week has been quiet. Really, really quiet.
Most of the time this is not, repeat, not a good thing. This time around it isn't either. Here's a brief rundown of what's happened in the past week since I last wrote a post here, as a lot has gone down in that time:
1. First and foremost, I did not go to Lady's graduation; this is probably good, as she told me she'd had an absolutely hellish weekend with her mother and aunt anyway, and that her graduation day was one of the worst days of her life. While my presence probably could have helped ease tensions between the three ladies, it could've exacerbated things further as well, so yes, it is probably good that I wasn't there. Lady called me the night before her graduation from the hotel room all of them were staying in, and was in good spirits then, so apparently all of the rather unpleasant stuff happened after that.
2. After her graduation Lady successfully made her trip back across the country to the east coast with no problems, in the span of about three days. Last night she was staying with family about an hour or two from her home, and was planning to surprise the family today by showing up earlier than expected. Whether that happened or not, I don't know; I sent her a text this afternoon asking how things were at home, and never got a response...which probably means she's busy and/or asleep. I'll catch up with her more tomorrow, I assume.
3. My landlord came by and caught me by surprise last weekend, before I was even able to call him to have him look at the air conditioner/furnace fan belt. I was actually going to call him about an hour later, but my neighbors had already called him for a drainage problem in their tub and he thought it had been me who called. While he was here, however, I did have him look at the furnace -- it turns out that I have the type of furnace that's a direct-drive system, no belt involved, and that the problem more than likely lies in the actual thermostat unit on my wall upstairs. However, just like any other problem I seem to have him come by and fix, when he turned it on it began running just fine as always. The electric company has a new digital thermostat they're giving out/installing for free, called the "WattSaver," and he gave me his okay to have one installed whenever I wanted -- if they needed the paperwork to give them permission, he had it on file at his office, and he'd sign it/send it off to them. If nothing else, if it's in the thermostat, that will fix the problem. In the meantime, if I have any other problems with the fan/AC system (like, say, if it goes on the fritz again), I told him I'd tell him and he could look at it while it was acting up. So far, it's been running just fine when I've needed to run it (and I run it quite sparingly, as to save money on my electric bill).
4. Money is really, really tight right now, and will continue to be, terribly, for the rest of the summer. To brace for this and "hunker down," sort of, I've done all the grocery shopping I'll need to do for the next three weeks or so and have refilled my phone minutes with what little cash I can spare right now. My car has about 100 more miles before the gas tank needs refilled, and all of my bills are paid except for the cable bill, which I'll have to write out and mail this weekend if I want it to get paid on time. All of this will keep my expenses at the bare minimums for a while though, which is very good. I'm well-stocked on food and supplies for a good chunk of the summer, with the exceptions of cat food/litter and other small things (like milk, bread, etc) that I will need to continually replace on occasion. However, judging on my rate of pay and my bills, I'll only be able to survive without help until the end of June or so, when my car insurance comes due. I will more than likely have to ask (read: beg and plead horribly) my parents for help on paying that, otherwise I'm going to be homeless -- it's almost as much as a month's rent, and I don't make enough money as a teacher over the summer to pay both during the same month, not to mention cover all of my bills as well. I've mentioned before that my car insurance comes due twice a year, and both times it's in the absolute worst months possible -- June and December. Both times are when my bank account is always at its absolute lowest point.
5. I've been really bored, lonely, and really listless. I'm not sure much more explanation is needed on that. When the semester ends, everything just stops. Because of that, I find myself responsibility-free, which is almost as much of a burden on my psyche as being laden-down with all sorts of things to do is. Adding to the loneliness is the fact that I didn't get to see Lady again before she left to go back home for the summer, and that almost all of my friends from the department are already gone for the summer (or permanently, in some cases) or will be soon enough. I've been reading, writing, trying to catch up on sleep, and taking care of household chores to pass the time, as well as playing a few video games and listening to my collected podcasts, but there's only so long before all of that gets old and boring as well, and I'm rapidly reaching that point.
6. I start teaching on Tuesday night. That's four days from now. I have a full 25-person class, none of whom I've ever had before for 101 or any other class I've taught. I have yet to receive any sort of literature/syllabus/lesson plan for the 10-week course from my boss, so I'm guessing I'll have to venture to campus on Monday to take care of all of that stuff unless I hear something this weekend. I'll more than likely have to go to campus on Monday anyway in order to get copies made of the syllabus and other materials, so there's not really any getting out of that.
7. I got my grades on Wednesday -- all of them have been posted at this point -- and once more I got straight A's. Of course, I was expecting this. My cumulative grad school GPA is a 3.97, only because last fall I got an A- in a class. Still an A in my book.
There are other things going on, of course, in the background, that I'd rather not write about here in such a public place. I'd like to think that everything's staying on an even keel, but I'm not sure. I'm just trying to live day-to-day at this point, and don't see that changing anytime soon. I will, of course, update you when/if anything new happens, but for the moment, things are okay. And that's all I can really ask for.
Most of the time this is not, repeat, not a good thing. This time around it isn't either. Here's a brief rundown of what's happened in the past week since I last wrote a post here, as a lot has gone down in that time:
1. First and foremost, I did not go to Lady's graduation; this is probably good, as she told me she'd had an absolutely hellish weekend with her mother and aunt anyway, and that her graduation day was one of the worst days of her life. While my presence probably could have helped ease tensions between the three ladies, it could've exacerbated things further as well, so yes, it is probably good that I wasn't there. Lady called me the night before her graduation from the hotel room all of them were staying in, and was in good spirits then, so apparently all of the rather unpleasant stuff happened after that.
2. After her graduation Lady successfully made her trip back across the country to the east coast with no problems, in the span of about three days. Last night she was staying with family about an hour or two from her home, and was planning to surprise the family today by showing up earlier than expected. Whether that happened or not, I don't know; I sent her a text this afternoon asking how things were at home, and never got a response...which probably means she's busy and/or asleep. I'll catch up with her more tomorrow, I assume.
3. My landlord came by and caught me by surprise last weekend, before I was even able to call him to have him look at the air conditioner/furnace fan belt. I was actually going to call him about an hour later, but my neighbors had already called him for a drainage problem in their tub and he thought it had been me who called. While he was here, however, I did have him look at the furnace -- it turns out that I have the type of furnace that's a direct-drive system, no belt involved, and that the problem more than likely lies in the actual thermostat unit on my wall upstairs. However, just like any other problem I seem to have him come by and fix, when he turned it on it began running just fine as always. The electric company has a new digital thermostat they're giving out/installing for free, called the "WattSaver," and he gave me his okay to have one installed whenever I wanted -- if they needed the paperwork to give them permission, he had it on file at his office, and he'd sign it/send it off to them. If nothing else, if it's in the thermostat, that will fix the problem. In the meantime, if I have any other problems with the fan/AC system (like, say, if it goes on the fritz again), I told him I'd tell him and he could look at it while it was acting up. So far, it's been running just fine when I've needed to run it (and I run it quite sparingly, as to save money on my electric bill).
4. Money is really, really tight right now, and will continue to be, terribly, for the rest of the summer. To brace for this and "hunker down," sort of, I've done all the grocery shopping I'll need to do for the next three weeks or so and have refilled my phone minutes with what little cash I can spare right now. My car has about 100 more miles before the gas tank needs refilled, and all of my bills are paid except for the cable bill, which I'll have to write out and mail this weekend if I want it to get paid on time. All of this will keep my expenses at the bare minimums for a while though, which is very good. I'm well-stocked on food and supplies for a good chunk of the summer, with the exceptions of cat food/litter and other small things (like milk, bread, etc) that I will need to continually replace on occasion. However, judging on my rate of pay and my bills, I'll only be able to survive without help until the end of June or so, when my car insurance comes due. I will more than likely have to ask (read: beg and plead horribly) my parents for help on paying that, otherwise I'm going to be homeless -- it's almost as much as a month's rent, and I don't make enough money as a teacher over the summer to pay both during the same month, not to mention cover all of my bills as well. I've mentioned before that my car insurance comes due twice a year, and both times it's in the absolute worst months possible -- June and December. Both times are when my bank account is always at its absolute lowest point.
5. I've been really bored, lonely, and really listless. I'm not sure much more explanation is needed on that. When the semester ends, everything just stops. Because of that, I find myself responsibility-free, which is almost as much of a burden on my psyche as being laden-down with all sorts of things to do is. Adding to the loneliness is the fact that I didn't get to see Lady again before she left to go back home for the summer, and that almost all of my friends from the department are already gone for the summer (or permanently, in some cases) or will be soon enough. I've been reading, writing, trying to catch up on sleep, and taking care of household chores to pass the time, as well as playing a few video games and listening to my collected podcasts, but there's only so long before all of that gets old and boring as well, and I'm rapidly reaching that point.
6. I start teaching on Tuesday night. That's four days from now. I have a full 25-person class, none of whom I've ever had before for 101 or any other class I've taught. I have yet to receive any sort of literature/syllabus/lesson plan for the 10-week course from my boss, so I'm guessing I'll have to venture to campus on Monday to take care of all of that stuff unless I hear something this weekend. I'll more than likely have to go to campus on Monday anyway in order to get copies made of the syllabus and other materials, so there's not really any getting out of that.
7. I got my grades on Wednesday -- all of them have been posted at this point -- and once more I got straight A's. Of course, I was expecting this. My cumulative grad school GPA is a 3.97, only because last fall I got an A- in a class. Still an A in my book.
There are other things going on, of course, in the background, that I'd rather not write about here in such a public place. I'd like to think that everything's staying on an even keel, but I'm not sure. I'm just trying to live day-to-day at this point, and don't see that changing anytime soon. I will, of course, update you when/if anything new happens, but for the moment, things are okay. And that's all I can really ask for.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
The End, Part III: The End-ening
Today is the end of the line. I have completed Spring Semester 2012 and survived it. My students' final grades have been calculated, submitted to the Banner system, and all paperwork has been turned in. I got a 100% on my English 681 project that was almost 60 pages. What I needed to pack up and bring home from my office has been packed up and brought home. Everything is finished.
I feel like I should somehow be filled with hope, inspiration, or have the sense that a great weight has been lifted from me, but I really don't feel any of those things. I feel...boredom. And listlessness. And also loneliness.
Due to circumstances outside my control, I will more than likely not be driving to Lady's school to witness her graduation this weekend. She's doing a lot of traveling herself, back and forth from Kansas City's airport at least three times (which, from where her college is, is a lot of driving), and the window I'd get to see her were I to go anyway would be really, really short -- as she must get on the road to her home back east Sunday evening. She can't stay in her dorm past that time and must be out by then. I'd end up seeing her for less time than it would take for me to drive there, not to mention back here, over the course of the entire weekend. And, of course, I'd have to find a place to stay overnight were I to go, whether that be in my car, a hotel, or otherwise. This, of course, doesn't mean I don't want to go anyway -- I certainly do -- but it doesn't look like it's going to happen. Which, of course, sucks. This means that I have no idea when I'll actually see her next (since she's going back home to work for the summer), which is just...well, sad.
The situation is far from ideal anyway. Lady and I, all else considered, have some issues we need to work through -- the least of which will be the distance we're apart over the summer. Most of it's circumstantial stuff; nobody's at fault, etc, but it's still stuff that affects us and still stuff we have to deal with. A lot of outside factors and a lot of really, really shitty luck is taking its toll on both of us right now, and therefore things are a bit difficult. In fact, "a bit difficult" is putting it mildly, in order to avoid going into detail about our private lives -- and that's all I'm going to say on the matter.
None of this, of course, changes anything about the summer -- I am still here, in Kansas, with a short break ahead of me before I begin teaching summer sessions. I found out last night that summer sessions will start (for me, anyway) on May 21; my first night of teaching is Tuesday, May 22. This of course throws a wrench into any plans I had of me and Lady visiting my parents before she starts work in June, as I now have to start teaching a week earlier than I had been told, and therefore must prepare my lesson plans, syllabus, and weekly schedule that much earlier as well. While I still have almost two weeks off in the meantime (well, about a week and a half), that date is fast-approaching, and soon will my world once more be consumed -- at least one night per week, anyhow -- with teaching.
Honestly, it really doesn't matter to me -- money is really, really tight right now, and will continue to be for the foreseeable future until August or so, so I feel really lucky to even have any sort of job for the summer. I need it. I am so slobberingly grateful for any paycheck thrown my way during the summer that I'm willing to do almost anything. I have very, very little food in the house right now, and can't really go shopping yet because I cannot afford to until I am paid tomorrow. The remainder of that paycheck will go towards the two bills that just came in -- my credit card bill and the water bill. I'll need to pay as much as my credit card bill as I can, because I'll need to use said card for gas to get me back and forth from the west campus for teaching, even if it's just teaching one night a week.
Let me tell you, the best part of winter break was that I only had to fill my gas tank once. Because I never went anywhere. The same is not going to be true over the summer, that's for sure.
The next few days, since I'm more than likely not going to be doing any traveling as I expected, will be spent trying to recover from the wrath of this entire semester. No, it was not a particularly hard semester, but there was still a lot of work involved and a lot of sleep lost, and I'm just...weary. I never thought I'd feel this weary or weighted down after I finished it.
Actually, no, that's incorrect. I knew I would be. I just didn't know it would hit so hard, so fast, and be accompanied with such a sense of listlessness and loneliness. Almost all of my friends have now left town for the summer, and the ones who haven't yet, I saw for probably the last time today until August. We also have two of us not graduating but leaving the program as well, and I doubt I'll see either of them ever again. This sucks, of course, but not much can be done. Jay at least says he wants to come up and visit me at some point over the summer, as very few of us will remain in town or around the area for any real stretch of time, but as for most other folks? Gone, gone home to their respective cities and states across the country.
Andrea keeps trying to come up with ideas for things to do to get me out of the house this summer, things that are either free or very, very cheap. I've told her, though, that I'm so not the type to go out and do things alone, and definitely not the type that likes spending any more time in the blazing Kansas sun than I have to.
"I'm the guy who retreats into video games, into internet stuff, TV, and movies," I told her. "Sleep. Writing. Stuff like that. Not the one who goes out and joins activities and social events, at least not alone."
This is true. I find it hard to be social when I don't have anyone to be social with. With Lady across the country and back home for the summer, this still applies. Going out and doing things alone bores me. It makes me realize just how alone and isolated I am in my little house with my three cats and beat-up car. But, eh, it's life. It's what I've got. It's what I am.
So that's pretty much all that's going on right now, folks. I'll update more soon, when I have something to report. Anything to report.
I feel like I should somehow be filled with hope, inspiration, or have the sense that a great weight has been lifted from me, but I really don't feel any of those things. I feel...boredom. And listlessness. And also loneliness.
Due to circumstances outside my control, I will more than likely not be driving to Lady's school to witness her graduation this weekend. She's doing a lot of traveling herself, back and forth from Kansas City's airport at least three times (which, from where her college is, is a lot of driving), and the window I'd get to see her were I to go anyway would be really, really short -- as she must get on the road to her home back east Sunday evening. She can't stay in her dorm past that time and must be out by then. I'd end up seeing her for less time than it would take for me to drive there, not to mention back here, over the course of the entire weekend. And, of course, I'd have to find a place to stay overnight were I to go, whether that be in my car, a hotel, or otherwise. This, of course, doesn't mean I don't want to go anyway -- I certainly do -- but it doesn't look like it's going to happen. Which, of course, sucks. This means that I have no idea when I'll actually see her next (since she's going back home to work for the summer), which is just...well, sad.
The situation is far from ideal anyway. Lady and I, all else considered, have some issues we need to work through -- the least of which will be the distance we're apart over the summer. Most of it's circumstantial stuff; nobody's at fault, etc, but it's still stuff that affects us and still stuff we have to deal with. A lot of outside factors and a lot of really, really shitty luck is taking its toll on both of us right now, and therefore things are a bit difficult. In fact, "a bit difficult" is putting it mildly, in order to avoid going into detail about our private lives -- and that's all I'm going to say on the matter.
None of this, of course, changes anything about the summer -- I am still here, in Kansas, with a short break ahead of me before I begin teaching summer sessions. I found out last night that summer sessions will start (for me, anyway) on May 21; my first night of teaching is Tuesday, May 22. This of course throws a wrench into any plans I had of me and Lady visiting my parents before she starts work in June, as I now have to start teaching a week earlier than I had been told, and therefore must prepare my lesson plans, syllabus, and weekly schedule that much earlier as well. While I still have almost two weeks off in the meantime (well, about a week and a half), that date is fast-approaching, and soon will my world once more be consumed -- at least one night per week, anyhow -- with teaching.
Honestly, it really doesn't matter to me -- money is really, really tight right now, and will continue to be for the foreseeable future until August or so, so I feel really lucky to even have any sort of job for the summer. I need it. I am so slobberingly grateful for any paycheck thrown my way during the summer that I'm willing to do almost anything. I have very, very little food in the house right now, and can't really go shopping yet because I cannot afford to until I am paid tomorrow. The remainder of that paycheck will go towards the two bills that just came in -- my credit card bill and the water bill. I'll need to pay as much as my credit card bill as I can, because I'll need to use said card for gas to get me back and forth from the west campus for teaching, even if it's just teaching one night a week.
Let me tell you, the best part of winter break was that I only had to fill my gas tank once. Because I never went anywhere. The same is not going to be true over the summer, that's for sure.
The next few days, since I'm more than likely not going to be doing any traveling as I expected, will be spent trying to recover from the wrath of this entire semester. No, it was not a particularly hard semester, but there was still a lot of work involved and a lot of sleep lost, and I'm just...weary. I never thought I'd feel this weary or weighted down after I finished it.
Actually, no, that's incorrect. I knew I would be. I just didn't know it would hit so hard, so fast, and be accompanied with such a sense of listlessness and loneliness. Almost all of my friends have now left town for the summer, and the ones who haven't yet, I saw for probably the last time today until August. We also have two of us not graduating but leaving the program as well, and I doubt I'll see either of them ever again. This sucks, of course, but not much can be done. Jay at least says he wants to come up and visit me at some point over the summer, as very few of us will remain in town or around the area for any real stretch of time, but as for most other folks? Gone, gone home to their respective cities and states across the country.
Andrea keeps trying to come up with ideas for things to do to get me out of the house this summer, things that are either free or very, very cheap. I've told her, though, that I'm so not the type to go out and do things alone, and definitely not the type that likes spending any more time in the blazing Kansas sun than I have to.
"I'm the guy who retreats into video games, into internet stuff, TV, and movies," I told her. "Sleep. Writing. Stuff like that. Not the one who goes out and joins activities and social events, at least not alone."
This is true. I find it hard to be social when I don't have anyone to be social with. With Lady across the country and back home for the summer, this still applies. Going out and doing things alone bores me. It makes me realize just how alone and isolated I am in my little house with my three cats and beat-up car. But, eh, it's life. It's what I've got. It's what I am.
So that's pretty much all that's going on right now, folks. I'll update more soon, when I have something to report. Anything to report.
Monday, May 7, 2012
The End, Part II: Bad Times, Again
It figures on the last weekend before Finals Week that everything which could go wrong did go wrong. In many ways, to many different people.
Hoo boy. Let's start from the beginning, and I'll keep things as brief as possible.
Friday was the only really good day of this entire weekend -- Lady came in and we had a wonderful/day night together. It couldn't have been more perfect; it's days like Friday which remind me (not that I needed to be reminded, of course) why I love that girl so very much. We went out to dinner at Applebee's, came home, and generally just spent as much time together as possible. I can't tell you how much I missed that, or her. Through all of my sleep deprivation, grading hundreds of papers this semester, and writing close to 60-page final projects, Lady has been what's kept me going. I treasure every second with her, especially even more now that she'll soon be going home to the east coast to work over the summer.
It was Friday night that the first omen of the rest of the weekend occurred, and it's when the fan belt broke on my furnace.
For those of you who have a heating/cooling system with a furnace and central air, you know that while the AC unit may be outside, the unit is also hooked up to the furnace, and when it's on it's the furnace's fan that blows the cool air through the house. Without that fan? Nothing blows.
I noticed around 11PM on Friday night that nothing was blowing through my vents, even though the AC was on and running. There was no air moving. The furnace fan was on and running as well. Hm. Because of this, I used my basic knowledge of machinery to figure out that the fan belt had broken -- otherwise the furnace fan wouldn't be running at all. Does that make sense? The "engine" of the fan will run, but the blower won't run. Which means, by deductive reasoning, that the fan belt is about the only thing it could be.
This, of course, was not good news for me and Lady. Lady tolerates heat even less than I do, and it was in the 90s on Friday and Saturday. Without the fan belt, I can't even run the furnace's fan to move air through the house. That in itself is a huge problem -- it means that my house basically turns into an oven. As it's the weekend, Lady was here, and I have my final exam to give Monday (read: today) afternoon, I knew I wasn't going to be able to get it fixed until at least after that -- so, sadly, we were stuck being hot. We dealt with it Friday night; it wasn't too bad. Saturday, however, was awful -- and I couldn't do anything about it. It was easily ninety degrees upstairs in my house, even with the floor fans, propped in the windows, blowing on us. It was because of that unbearable heat, as well as a few other reasons, that Lady went back to school on Saturday evening instead of staying until Sunday morning as we'd originally planned. I may write about that more later, but for now it's unimportant.
I was up all night Saturday night and through most of yesterday; not only was I taking care of stuff around the house that needed to be done, but the heat and my allergies made it near-impossible to sleep. Believe me, I tried multiple times. Finally, last night I was able to take a nap for several hours, which was sorely needed.
When I awoke -- groggy and in the dark, I found that I'd received a voicemail as well as two texts from Lady, telling me to call her because something bad had happened and she needed my support. I found out what it was soon thereafter -- one of her closest friends was killed in a car accident on Saturday night.
Lady is, understandably, devastated. I called her and talked to her briefly, and was as sweet as I possibly could be, of course, but there's nothing else I can do but be there for her and take care of her when she needs me to. And right now (again, very understandably) she's not really in a talkative mood. I probably wouldn't be either, to be honest. I told her I'm here for her when and if she needs me, and left it at that. I love Lady. I love her a lot. I wish there was something I could do to help her feel better, but I know there's really not. At least not right now.
So, really, this weekend has just been a string of bad things happening one after another, with the exception of Friday of course. I also haven't heard from my parents in over a week, so I have no clue what's going on back home, if anything. Still, things could always get worse, and maybe will before they get better, so I'm trying to keep my chin up. After all, this week is the last week I have to do anything school-related until the end of May, when I'll start teaching summer sessions, and next weekend I'm planning to see Lady graduate, and meet her mother and aunt.
Last night, to deal with the heat and to prepare for the summer, I once more made myself hairless. I have gone clean-shaven for the first time in about six months, and I shaved my head almost down to the skin, using my clippers without any guard on them at all. I don't necessarily like being almost bald, but if it's a choice between that and sweating profusely if it's going to be 100 degrees every day again soon, then I'd rather have no hair. Lady encouraged me while she was here to cut my hair again anyhow; she likes the really-short-hair/almost bald look on me. Now, all I have to worry about is sunburn on the top of my head for the next few weeks until it grows out a little more.
Besides, it's comfortable (if a little strange-feeling), and I now don't have to worry about shampoo. I can run the bar of soap over my head for a few seconds, and be good to go.
I will also say that I was originally considering a mohawk. Not kidding.
Anyway.
This week is going to be long and rather strange, punctuated at each end by stuff to do. There's today's final exam and grading, and then finishing up exam grading on Thursday morning with my grading partner before I can post my grades and be done for the semester. In the interim and afterwards, I have Tuesday and Wednesday off, during which I can see if I can get my landlord here to fix the furnace fan belt, Friday to relax, and Saturday to drive to Lady's school for her graduation on Sunday. It's going to be interesting to see what I can get done and how I'll end up doing it. That fan belt thing needs fixed soon, though, before it gets way too hot again.
So yeah, that's the brief-brief version of what's been going on. There's more, of course. I may go into more detail with some things over the course of the next few days, but who knows. For now, though, yes, things could be better...but they could also be much, much worse. And I'm thankful that right now they're not.
Hoo boy. Let's start from the beginning, and I'll keep things as brief as possible.
Friday was the only really good day of this entire weekend -- Lady came in and we had a wonderful/day night together. It couldn't have been more perfect; it's days like Friday which remind me (not that I needed to be reminded, of course) why I love that girl so very much. We went out to dinner at Applebee's, came home, and generally just spent as much time together as possible. I can't tell you how much I missed that, or her. Through all of my sleep deprivation, grading hundreds of papers this semester, and writing close to 60-page final projects, Lady has been what's kept me going. I treasure every second with her, especially even more now that she'll soon be going home to the east coast to work over the summer.
It was Friday night that the first omen of the rest of the weekend occurred, and it's when the fan belt broke on my furnace.
For those of you who have a heating/cooling system with a furnace and central air, you know that while the AC unit may be outside, the unit is also hooked up to the furnace, and when it's on it's the furnace's fan that blows the cool air through the house. Without that fan? Nothing blows.
I noticed around 11PM on Friday night that nothing was blowing through my vents, even though the AC was on and running. There was no air moving. The furnace fan was on and running as well. Hm. Because of this, I used my basic knowledge of machinery to figure out that the fan belt had broken -- otherwise the furnace fan wouldn't be running at all. Does that make sense? The "engine" of the fan will run, but the blower won't run. Which means, by deductive reasoning, that the fan belt is about the only thing it could be.
This, of course, was not good news for me and Lady. Lady tolerates heat even less than I do, and it was in the 90s on Friday and Saturday. Without the fan belt, I can't even run the furnace's fan to move air through the house. That in itself is a huge problem -- it means that my house basically turns into an oven. As it's the weekend, Lady was here, and I have my final exam to give Monday (read: today) afternoon, I knew I wasn't going to be able to get it fixed until at least after that -- so, sadly, we were stuck being hot. We dealt with it Friday night; it wasn't too bad. Saturday, however, was awful -- and I couldn't do anything about it. It was easily ninety degrees upstairs in my house, even with the floor fans, propped in the windows, blowing on us. It was because of that unbearable heat, as well as a few other reasons, that Lady went back to school on Saturday evening instead of staying until Sunday morning as we'd originally planned. I may write about that more later, but for now it's unimportant.
I was up all night Saturday night and through most of yesterday; not only was I taking care of stuff around the house that needed to be done, but the heat and my allergies made it near-impossible to sleep. Believe me, I tried multiple times. Finally, last night I was able to take a nap for several hours, which was sorely needed.
When I awoke -- groggy and in the dark, I found that I'd received a voicemail as well as two texts from Lady, telling me to call her because something bad had happened and she needed my support. I found out what it was soon thereafter -- one of her closest friends was killed in a car accident on Saturday night.
Lady is, understandably, devastated. I called her and talked to her briefly, and was as sweet as I possibly could be, of course, but there's nothing else I can do but be there for her and take care of her when she needs me to. And right now (again, very understandably) she's not really in a talkative mood. I probably wouldn't be either, to be honest. I told her I'm here for her when and if she needs me, and left it at that. I love Lady. I love her a lot. I wish there was something I could do to help her feel better, but I know there's really not. At least not right now.
So, really, this weekend has just been a string of bad things happening one after another, with the exception of Friday of course. I also haven't heard from my parents in over a week, so I have no clue what's going on back home, if anything. Still, things could always get worse, and maybe will before they get better, so I'm trying to keep my chin up. After all, this week is the last week I have to do anything school-related until the end of May, when I'll start teaching summer sessions, and next weekend I'm planning to see Lady graduate, and meet her mother and aunt.
Last night, to deal with the heat and to prepare for the summer, I once more made myself hairless. I have gone clean-shaven for the first time in about six months, and I shaved my head almost down to the skin, using my clippers without any guard on them at all. I don't necessarily like being almost bald, but if it's a choice between that and sweating profusely if it's going to be 100 degrees every day again soon, then I'd rather have no hair. Lady encouraged me while she was here to cut my hair again anyhow; she likes the really-short-hair/almost bald look on me. Now, all I have to worry about is sunburn on the top of my head for the next few weeks until it grows out a little more.
Besides, it's comfortable (if a little strange-feeling), and I now don't have to worry about shampoo. I can run the bar of soap over my head for a few seconds, and be good to go.
I will also say that I was originally considering a mohawk. Not kidding.
Anyway.
This week is going to be long and rather strange, punctuated at each end by stuff to do. There's today's final exam and grading, and then finishing up exam grading on Thursday morning with my grading partner before I can post my grades and be done for the semester. In the interim and afterwards, I have Tuesday and Wednesday off, during which I can see if I can get my landlord here to fix the furnace fan belt, Friday to relax, and Saturday to drive to Lady's school for her graduation on Sunday. It's going to be interesting to see what I can get done and how I'll end up doing it. That fan belt thing needs fixed soon, though, before it gets way too hot again.
So yeah, that's the brief-brief version of what's been going on. There's more, of course. I may go into more detail with some things over the course of the next few days, but who knows. For now, though, yes, things could be better...but they could also be much, much worse. And I'm thankful that right now they're not.
Friday, May 4, 2012
The End, Part I
The End of Spring Semester
Yesterday, Thursday, was officially the last day of classes for Spring Semester 2012.
This is, of course, a good thing. It means that I am now officially done with 2/3 of my graduate school career. Well, I will be once I finish grading my students' exams next week, I mean, but for all purposes pertaining to me? Yeah, I've finished two years now.
I can't help but think back to last year at this time. So many things were different. I was in a relationship with a different woman, I had just finished teaching English 101 for the last time, I had crazy-long hair and a very thick beard, I had a lot more money to my name and I didn't even own my car yet. Yes, folks, so many things in my life were drastically, drastically different.
Would I change a thing, however, from how they are now? No. Maybe little things here and there -- little things I shouldn't have said, or the way I handled little situations, but overall? The big picture? Nope. I wouldn't change anything. I used to have regrets about a lot of major things in my life. I've not always been the best person (few people can say they have been). But I've learned from my mistakes, and I've generally made peace with my regrets. During the long period of time that I was single, I was able to think about my life in a much clearer fashion, and partition it out piece by piece for cross-examination. I came out the other side much stronger and with a clear head.
Do I have a better life now than I did a year ago? In most ways, yes. I have a wonderful woman in Lady. I have a car that runs well (knock on wood) the vast majority of the time. I have my own place, in which I live alone in peace and solitude. I don't have a lot of money, but I get by just fine for the time being, and even though I may be poor I can still feed myself and the cats. I also think I am stronger, thinner, and wiser, even if I may be a bit more reclusive as the tradeoff to those traits. I also have a job for the summer now, when that didn't happen last summer. Overall, I think everything's a bit better than before. It's not perfect, of course, but better.
This morning, Lady is coming in for the weekend. She doesn't have class today, so she can get here earlier than otherwise. We're planning a nice weekend together. The weather, while hot, isn't supposed to be nasty, so we won't have to worry about our time together being cut short (as we did three weeks ago when she was last here). So that we're not interrupted by anything or anyone, as soon as she gets here my phone is getting turned off. I'm not going to pay attention to anything but her -- it will be our last weekend together in my place for a long time. I have also finished grading all of my students' final papers in the past day or so as well, finishing the last ones a few hours ago, so that I won't have anything nagging at me in the back of my head. I have nothing else to do for the next three days but spend time with her -- and it's going to stay that way.
However, come Monday, things will change. I must return to campus and give my students their final exam. This in itself is not a problem -- it will be pretty simple. I was expecting to be done on Monday, but apparently the fates had other plans. Y'see, the girl I've been assigned as my "grading partner" for finals has a daytime class as well as a night class that she teaches. The night classes take their finals at a different time -- in this case, Wednesday night. As I have to grade both sets of her essays, this means that I'll be stuck going back into campus next Thursday morning again to grade the set from the night class. This isn't a big deal, of course, but it does extend the amount of time I have to remain, y'know, available on the University's terms by three extra days. Therefore, I'm going in there on Thursday morning, finishing it as quickly as possible, turning in/posting my students' grades, and getting the hell out of Dodge. Lady's graduation is next weekend, and I need to do a little self-tune-up to the car before I make that long-ass drive -- such as check/refill the oil, refill the coolant if it's low, get it new gas and put a fuel system/carb cleaner in the tank, and make sure it has enough air in the tires. I've never driven the Monte Carlo such a long distance before (the most miles I've put on it in one day was about 100), so I have to make sure I can do everything I can to get it there and back safely. I wish I could afford to get the car its oil change this weekend prior to my trip out there next weekend, but I just can't. I really have no spare money right now, as all of my bills just came out of my bank account, and two more just arrived in the mail.
So yeah, minor inconvenience, I know, but an inconvenience nonetheless. I look at it as another day's worth of gas money spent at this point, really.
More updates will come after Lady returns to school on Sunday, of course. But, until then, consider me incommunicado.
Yesterday, Thursday, was officially the last day of classes for Spring Semester 2012.
This is, of course, a good thing. It means that I am now officially done with 2/3 of my graduate school career. Well, I will be once I finish grading my students' exams next week, I mean, but for all purposes pertaining to me? Yeah, I've finished two years now.
I can't help but think back to last year at this time. So many things were different. I was in a relationship with a different woman, I had just finished teaching English 101 for the last time, I had crazy-long hair and a very thick beard, I had a lot more money to my name and I didn't even own my car yet. Yes, folks, so many things in my life were drastically, drastically different.
Would I change a thing, however, from how they are now? No. Maybe little things here and there -- little things I shouldn't have said, or the way I handled little situations, but overall? The big picture? Nope. I wouldn't change anything. I used to have regrets about a lot of major things in my life. I've not always been the best person (few people can say they have been). But I've learned from my mistakes, and I've generally made peace with my regrets. During the long period of time that I was single, I was able to think about my life in a much clearer fashion, and partition it out piece by piece for cross-examination. I came out the other side much stronger and with a clear head.
Do I have a better life now than I did a year ago? In most ways, yes. I have a wonderful woman in Lady. I have a car that runs well (knock on wood) the vast majority of the time. I have my own place, in which I live alone in peace and solitude. I don't have a lot of money, but I get by just fine for the time being, and even though I may be poor I can still feed myself and the cats. I also think I am stronger, thinner, and wiser, even if I may be a bit more reclusive as the tradeoff to those traits. I also have a job for the summer now, when that didn't happen last summer. Overall, I think everything's a bit better than before. It's not perfect, of course, but better.
This morning, Lady is coming in for the weekend. She doesn't have class today, so she can get here earlier than otherwise. We're planning a nice weekend together. The weather, while hot, isn't supposed to be nasty, so we won't have to worry about our time together being cut short (as we did three weeks ago when she was last here). So that we're not interrupted by anything or anyone, as soon as she gets here my phone is getting turned off. I'm not going to pay attention to anything but her -- it will be our last weekend together in my place for a long time. I have also finished grading all of my students' final papers in the past day or so as well, finishing the last ones a few hours ago, so that I won't have anything nagging at me in the back of my head. I have nothing else to do for the next three days but spend time with her -- and it's going to stay that way.
However, come Monday, things will change. I must return to campus and give my students their final exam. This in itself is not a problem -- it will be pretty simple. I was expecting to be done on Monday, but apparently the fates had other plans. Y'see, the girl I've been assigned as my "grading partner" for finals has a daytime class as well as a night class that she teaches. The night classes take their finals at a different time -- in this case, Wednesday night. As I have to grade both sets of her essays, this means that I'll be stuck going back into campus next Thursday morning again to grade the set from the night class. This isn't a big deal, of course, but it does extend the amount of time I have to remain, y'know, available on the University's terms by three extra days. Therefore, I'm going in there on Thursday morning, finishing it as quickly as possible, turning in/posting my students' grades, and getting the hell out of Dodge. Lady's graduation is next weekend, and I need to do a little self-tune-up to the car before I make that long-ass drive -- such as check/refill the oil, refill the coolant if it's low, get it new gas and put a fuel system/carb cleaner in the tank, and make sure it has enough air in the tires. I've never driven the Monte Carlo such a long distance before (the most miles I've put on it in one day was about 100), so I have to make sure I can do everything I can to get it there and back safely. I wish I could afford to get the car its oil change this weekend prior to my trip out there next weekend, but I just can't. I really have no spare money right now, as all of my bills just came out of my bank account, and two more just arrived in the mail.
So yeah, minor inconvenience, I know, but an inconvenience nonetheless. I look at it as another day's worth of gas money spent at this point, really.
More updates will come after Lady returns to school on Sunday, of course. But, until then, consider me incommunicado.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Hell on Wheels, Part II
Spring semester: day seventy-five
Today is the last day I have to teach my classes for the semester. I am collecting their papers, giving them their practice exam, and bidding them farewell. And so will end my second semester of teaching Science and Engineering English 102.
I love teaching that class, as I told my bosslady. There's no class I would rather teach. It's so fun. In the fall (provided I end up teaching it again; right now, I'm not sure if I'll get to), we even have a new edition of the book to use, so I'll get to explore a newer version of the text. Also, if I continue teaching it in the fall, it will be the first class I've taught for more than two semesters in a row. I'd be perfectly fine with that.
Of course, I still don't know if I'm teaching it in the fall; if I'm lucky, I may end up teaching online sections of 101 or 102. It depends on how the dice rolls. Regardless, I would imagine I'll find out one way or the other this coming week.
In other news, the massive 681 project is finally finished. I finished it about 24 hours ago. My actual written part of it clocks in at a whopping 47 pages, with about ten pages' worth of extra handouts included in it as well, bringing the total between 55 and 60. It is absolutely nuts. I know I waaaaaay overachieved on it, but I didn't want to create half a lesson plan, or half a set of handouts and quizzes. It would've seemed oddly unfinished. And, after all, my professor didn't give an upper page limit. So, let's see how he likes it. I'm printing out a copy of it this morning and turning it in to him so that if I need to, I can revise it.
In other news, Lady is not only feeling better, but she will be coming in this weekend. It will be our last weekend to spend time together at my place before she goes home for the summer to work her summer job. Next weekend, I will venture across the state line to see her "graduation" from her college and meet her mother and aunt, which should be fun as well. It's sort of frustrating to know that we'll have to spend so much time apart over the summer, but neither of us are thinking about that right now -- in fact, we've both been actively avoiding talking about it. Lady does not yet know where she will be when fall comes, in regards to schooling or living situations. She's currently waiting to hear back from a number of schools and opportunities, but there is certainly the very distinct possibility that she and I will be physically apart (aside from visits, of course) for the next year of our relationship after this summer -- until I graduate from Flat State University and get the hell out of Kansas. Mind you, neither of us want this, but it all comes down to circumstance. I'm locked here for better or worse until this time next year, finishing my MFA program. Graduate school credits don't exactly transfer from one institution to another like undergraduate credits do, so for the next year I'm more or less stuck here regardless of what happens. This is the other reason I was hoping to get the online teaching gig -- if I have to leave town for a few days at some point for visits, at least I can teach my classes from wherever I am as long as I have access to a computer. Next spring this would be even more important as I would imagine I'll be interviewing at several places on the opposite side of the country, providing (of course) that I can afford to fly to these places for said interviews. I also plan to attend AWP in Boston next spring, as well, if money allows me to do so.
Now that I'm rushing headlong into the abyss that is not only summer vacation but my third and final year of graduate school in the fall, I've come to realize that I have a lot of stuff to do, and a lot of stuff planned that I must make happen, including a few very, very large things. I'm going to try to get a jump-start on all of my work over the course of the summer, in-between teaching my classes and writing my thesis, but I have a long long way to go. For example, I've basically given up on spending money to fix up the car -- I'll eventually get the oil changed, of course, and I'll probably put new tires on it, but as for any other major repairs? I won't have the spare money to make them. Ever. Everever. I'll probably end up selling it within this next year in order to get a more reliable, more expensive vehicle that will be able to take me back across the country when I graduate. As much as I love my Monte Carlo, and as much as she will always be the first car I could totally call mine, name-on-the-title-and-paid-for, she sucks gas like crazy and has 222,000 miles on her. I can't depend on her forever, and I certainly can't expect her to make a 2,000-mile trip across the country back to the east coast. What I need is a small, fuel-efficient SUV or a Subaru wagon like Andrea has, even if I have to spend about two or three months' worth of paychecks on it. I won't have much of a choice once next May rolls around -- I don't have any family out here to help me move things; what won't fit in whatever vehicle I have at that time will more than likely have to get trashed, donated, or quickly sold.
No, that doesn't include the cats.
Some other interesting things have been happening lately as well, though they've all been small things. For one, my sleep cycles are regulated now -- they're just regulated in the opposite direction. Due to my constant, crazed work on my 681 project, I've gotten into the habit of staying up until 9 or 10AM, and then sleeping until 6PM or so. During the rest of this semester, this would've been a problem. Now that the semester is over (for the most part) it doesn't really affect me as much. I got up last night at 6PM, and I will teach this morning, go to a doctor's appointment this afternoon, and then come home and go back to bed until tomorrow. Tomorrow (Wednesday) I'm on campus for a few hours in the morning and into the afternoon, and then I am off until Monday (when I give my students their final exam). In the interim, I'll be grading my students' papers and spending time with Lady this weekend, but not doing much else, so time to sleep is indeed pretty flexible at this point. This is fine. I have coffee. I also have two days of downtime to get some rest before Lady arrives.
Tonight, as storms rolled through, my internet went out twice -- once around 11PM and again around 3AM. It was out for over an hour each time. This wasn't really a problem, as there wasn't really much to do anyhow, but it did stop me from being able to talk to Lady for a few hours, until at some point I assume she eventually went to bed. I called to report the outage the first time, and I got a guy on the phone who sounded like he'd been sleeping at his desk. He told me he'd check out the problem and then call me back...and then never did. In the meanwhile it came back on and then went out once more before sticking on for good (currently, anyway). Weird. Usually the cable internet people are totally on the ball when something happens and I call for service. Now watch the guy finally call back when I'm in the middle of teaching class this morning, or something. It wouldn't surprise me.
As I've finished all of my coursework for the semester now, I'm in a bit of what some may perceive as a "lull," at least until I get my students' papers today. With the completion of my 681 project, and my last formal classes meeting last week, I have nothing else to do but grade and give the final before I can call myself done. It's a really weird feeling. I'm not used to having nothing to do -- and instead of a sense of freedom sweeping over me, there's just this sense of...boredom. Of nothing. And it's coupled with an immense desire to just go to bed for a week. That, at least, I will probably accomplish after I give the final exam on Monday, while Lady is taking her own exams next week (however many she has; I believe she has two).
I've paid all of my bills except my electric bill (not due for another three weeks), and I've gone to get groceries that will last me for a good two weeks or so, hopefully. After the semester's over, after I go to Lady's graduation and return home, I am going to do my best to hunker down for a while. I won't have any major expenses, not even gas, until I begin teaching this summer at the end of May. Aside from going to see The Avengers (because, believe me, I'm not fucking missing that) at some point, I'm barely even planning to leave the house if I can avoid it -- especially if it starts getting really hot outside really quickly. The temperature nearly hit 100 last week on one or two days, and it wasn't even May yet. Even with the vast expanse of summer ahead of me, though, I'm only looking forward to the good things in the short term -- I'm excited to see Lady this weekend first and foremost. I haven't seen her in two weeks, and her visit last time was cut short by the tornadoes that hit the region that weekend, prompting her to leave early to miss the weather. Unfortunately, Lady's arrival on Friday means that I'll miss the "end of the year" grad student party, during which everyone sends off the graduating MFA class. Last year it wasn't a formal event and was more or less a "let's go to Rae and Jay's apartment" sort of thing, but this year it's quite well-organized and sort of upscale. If Lady were arriving on Thursday night instead of Friday, we'd probably go together so that she could meet my friends from the department. However, with her coming in at the same time the party's happening, that's not really an option. Rae texted me over the weekend to ask "So when do Jay and I get to meet [Lady]?" or something to that effect, and the sad part is that I really don't have an answer for her -- it'll more than likely be in the fall if they do get to meet her, but then again the possibility is also "never," depending on where Lady ends up going to school in the fall.
I'm beginning to wonder if people think I've just made Lady up, or that she's just a figment of my imagination. No, I haven't, of course, and she's not. Duh. There are, after all, pictures of her on my Facebook, and she even took my profile picture with her phone. We're just private people, and we keep our relationship private as well. As I've mentioned here before, it's nobody's business but ours what we do and when we do it, etc. That doesn't mean I don't want her to meet my friends or that she doesn't want to -- in fact, the exact opposite is true -- it's just that it never happens. Believe me -- Andrea, Shainna, and both of my parents can vouch that the girl is indeed real.
Speaking of my parents, I asked my mother whether or not she would want me to fly back out there over the course of this next month or so at some point for another visit, preferably with Lady as well. There's a small window of available days I could do it, from about May 20 to 27, and from May 29th to June 10 or so. Lady starts her summer job back home in the middle of June or so, but as she'll visit her aunt beforehand in the interim she'll have access to the Prius to drive up for a few days again. For me, it's about the only time I'll have this summer that's completely free and unencumbered by needing to be here every Tuesday night to teach my summer English 102 class, and if I'm going to visit my parents again I want to do it when Lady is available to visit them as well, especially since my parents adore her as much as I do. I haven't heard back from Mom yet, though I would imagine I will either today or tomorrow. Besides, it would probably be best to do it before the summer gets incredibly, crazily hot out here in the midwest, as well as back home.
So that's pretty much all that's going on right now. Coming up? Grading and lots of it, followed by sleep and lots of it, followed by Lady, followed by my students' final exam.
Hooray, this long and ponderous semester is almost over.
Today is the last day I have to teach my classes for the semester. I am collecting their papers, giving them their practice exam, and bidding them farewell. And so will end my second semester of teaching Science and Engineering English 102.
I love teaching that class, as I told my bosslady. There's no class I would rather teach. It's so fun. In the fall (provided I end up teaching it again; right now, I'm not sure if I'll get to), we even have a new edition of the book to use, so I'll get to explore a newer version of the text. Also, if I continue teaching it in the fall, it will be the first class I've taught for more than two semesters in a row. I'd be perfectly fine with that.
Of course, I still don't know if I'm teaching it in the fall; if I'm lucky, I may end up teaching online sections of 101 or 102. It depends on how the dice rolls. Regardless, I would imagine I'll find out one way or the other this coming week.
In other news, the massive 681 project is finally finished. I finished it about 24 hours ago. My actual written part of it clocks in at a whopping 47 pages, with about ten pages' worth of extra handouts included in it as well, bringing the total between 55 and 60. It is absolutely nuts. I know I waaaaaay overachieved on it, but I didn't want to create half a lesson plan, or half a set of handouts and quizzes. It would've seemed oddly unfinished. And, after all, my professor didn't give an upper page limit. So, let's see how he likes it. I'm printing out a copy of it this morning and turning it in to him so that if I need to, I can revise it.
In other news, Lady is not only feeling better, but she will be coming in this weekend. It will be our last weekend to spend time together at my place before she goes home for the summer to work her summer job. Next weekend, I will venture across the state line to see her "graduation" from her college and meet her mother and aunt, which should be fun as well. It's sort of frustrating to know that we'll have to spend so much time apart over the summer, but neither of us are thinking about that right now -- in fact, we've both been actively avoiding talking about it. Lady does not yet know where she will be when fall comes, in regards to schooling or living situations. She's currently waiting to hear back from a number of schools and opportunities, but there is certainly the very distinct possibility that she and I will be physically apart (aside from visits, of course) for the next year of our relationship after this summer -- until I graduate from Flat State University and get the hell out of Kansas. Mind you, neither of us want this, but it all comes down to circumstance. I'm locked here for better or worse until this time next year, finishing my MFA program. Graduate school credits don't exactly transfer from one institution to another like undergraduate credits do, so for the next year I'm more or less stuck here regardless of what happens. This is the other reason I was hoping to get the online teaching gig -- if I have to leave town for a few days at some point for visits, at least I can teach my classes from wherever I am as long as I have access to a computer. Next spring this would be even more important as I would imagine I'll be interviewing at several places on the opposite side of the country, providing (of course) that I can afford to fly to these places for said interviews. I also plan to attend AWP in Boston next spring, as well, if money allows me to do so.
Now that I'm rushing headlong into the abyss that is not only summer vacation but my third and final year of graduate school in the fall, I've come to realize that I have a lot of stuff to do, and a lot of stuff planned that I must make happen, including a few very, very large things. I'm going to try to get a jump-start on all of my work over the course of the summer, in-between teaching my classes and writing my thesis, but I have a long long way to go. For example, I've basically given up on spending money to fix up the car -- I'll eventually get the oil changed, of course, and I'll probably put new tires on it, but as for any other major repairs? I won't have the spare money to make them. Ever. Everever. I'll probably end up selling it within this next year in order to get a more reliable, more expensive vehicle that will be able to take me back across the country when I graduate. As much as I love my Monte Carlo, and as much as she will always be the first car I could totally call mine, name-on-the-title-and-paid-for, she sucks gas like crazy and has 222,000 miles on her. I can't depend on her forever, and I certainly can't expect her to make a 2,000-mile trip across the country back to the east coast. What I need is a small, fuel-efficient SUV or a Subaru wagon like Andrea has, even if I have to spend about two or three months' worth of paychecks on it. I won't have much of a choice once next May rolls around -- I don't have any family out here to help me move things; what won't fit in whatever vehicle I have at that time will more than likely have to get trashed, donated, or quickly sold.
No, that doesn't include the cats.
Some other interesting things have been happening lately as well, though they've all been small things. For one, my sleep cycles are regulated now -- they're just regulated in the opposite direction. Due to my constant, crazed work on my 681 project, I've gotten into the habit of staying up until 9 or 10AM, and then sleeping until 6PM or so. During the rest of this semester, this would've been a problem. Now that the semester is over (for the most part) it doesn't really affect me as much. I got up last night at 6PM, and I will teach this morning, go to a doctor's appointment this afternoon, and then come home and go back to bed until tomorrow. Tomorrow (Wednesday) I'm on campus for a few hours in the morning and into the afternoon, and then I am off until Monday (when I give my students their final exam). In the interim, I'll be grading my students' papers and spending time with Lady this weekend, but not doing much else, so time to sleep is indeed pretty flexible at this point. This is fine. I have coffee. I also have two days of downtime to get some rest before Lady arrives.
Tonight, as storms rolled through, my internet went out twice -- once around 11PM and again around 3AM. It was out for over an hour each time. This wasn't really a problem, as there wasn't really much to do anyhow, but it did stop me from being able to talk to Lady for a few hours, until at some point I assume she eventually went to bed. I called to report the outage the first time, and I got a guy on the phone who sounded like he'd been sleeping at his desk. He told me he'd check out the problem and then call me back...and then never did. In the meanwhile it came back on and then went out once more before sticking on for good (currently, anyway). Weird. Usually the cable internet people are totally on the ball when something happens and I call for service. Now watch the guy finally call back when I'm in the middle of teaching class this morning, or something. It wouldn't surprise me.
As I've finished all of my coursework for the semester now, I'm in a bit of what some may perceive as a "lull," at least until I get my students' papers today. With the completion of my 681 project, and my last formal classes meeting last week, I have nothing else to do but grade and give the final before I can call myself done. It's a really weird feeling. I'm not used to having nothing to do -- and instead of a sense of freedom sweeping over me, there's just this sense of...boredom. Of nothing. And it's coupled with an immense desire to just go to bed for a week. That, at least, I will probably accomplish after I give the final exam on Monday, while Lady is taking her own exams next week (however many she has; I believe she has two).
I've paid all of my bills except my electric bill (not due for another three weeks), and I've gone to get groceries that will last me for a good two weeks or so, hopefully. After the semester's over, after I go to Lady's graduation and return home, I am going to do my best to hunker down for a while. I won't have any major expenses, not even gas, until I begin teaching this summer at the end of May. Aside from going to see The Avengers (because, believe me, I'm not fucking missing that) at some point, I'm barely even planning to leave the house if I can avoid it -- especially if it starts getting really hot outside really quickly. The temperature nearly hit 100 last week on one or two days, and it wasn't even May yet. Even with the vast expanse of summer ahead of me, though, I'm only looking forward to the good things in the short term -- I'm excited to see Lady this weekend first and foremost. I haven't seen her in two weeks, and her visit last time was cut short by the tornadoes that hit the region that weekend, prompting her to leave early to miss the weather. Unfortunately, Lady's arrival on Friday means that I'll miss the "end of the year" grad student party, during which everyone sends off the graduating MFA class. Last year it wasn't a formal event and was more or less a "let's go to Rae and Jay's apartment" sort of thing, but this year it's quite well-organized and sort of upscale. If Lady were arriving on Thursday night instead of Friday, we'd probably go together so that she could meet my friends from the department. However, with her coming in at the same time the party's happening, that's not really an option. Rae texted me over the weekend to ask "So when do Jay and I get to meet [Lady]?" or something to that effect, and the sad part is that I really don't have an answer for her -- it'll more than likely be in the fall if they do get to meet her, but then again the possibility is also "never," depending on where Lady ends up going to school in the fall.
I'm beginning to wonder if people think I've just made Lady up, or that she's just a figment of my imagination. No, I haven't, of course, and she's not. Duh. There are, after all, pictures of her on my Facebook, and she even took my profile picture with her phone. We're just private people, and we keep our relationship private as well. As I've mentioned here before, it's nobody's business but ours what we do and when we do it, etc. That doesn't mean I don't want her to meet my friends or that she doesn't want to -- in fact, the exact opposite is true -- it's just that it never happens. Believe me -- Andrea, Shainna, and both of my parents can vouch that the girl is indeed real.
Speaking of my parents, I asked my mother whether or not she would want me to fly back out there over the course of this next month or so at some point for another visit, preferably with Lady as well. There's a small window of available days I could do it, from about May 20 to 27, and from May 29th to June 10 or so. Lady starts her summer job back home in the middle of June or so, but as she'll visit her aunt beforehand in the interim she'll have access to the Prius to drive up for a few days again. For me, it's about the only time I'll have this summer that's completely free and unencumbered by needing to be here every Tuesday night to teach my summer English 102 class, and if I'm going to visit my parents again I want to do it when Lady is available to visit them as well, especially since my parents adore her as much as I do. I haven't heard back from Mom yet, though I would imagine I will either today or tomorrow. Besides, it would probably be best to do it before the summer gets incredibly, crazily hot out here in the midwest, as well as back home.
So that's pretty much all that's going on right now. Coming up? Grading and lots of it, followed by sleep and lots of it, followed by Lady, followed by my students' final exam.
Hooray, this long and ponderous semester is almost over.
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