Birthday Thirty-seven

I am 37.

Yes, in a row.

At Least it's Not Cancer

(Originally written late June 2019; edited and updated November 2019)

We've had a lot going on over the past few months, and not a lot of it has been good, honestly. There is some good, but almost every time something good happens, it is overshadowed by something bad, whether that's something small or something catastrophic. 

For example -- in April, the wife and I both had some moles removed by a dermatologist. They were very questionable for both of us (I had two removed, both from my back -- the wife had one removed from her arm), so the dermatologists sent them to the lab to see if they were cancerous. We had to wait two weeks, but found out that yay, we didn't have skin cancer! neither of us! 

That same week, the car started making grinding noises, and the wife took it in to find that we had to get one of the wheel bearings replaced. Twice, actually, because they replaced it the first time with another bad one. This ended up costing us about $300 or so.

But at least we don't have cancer, right? Yet.

That tends to be the way things go in our lives as of late. And to think, the Chinese Zodiac said that last year was supposed to be my "bad luck" year. I think it's pretty off, if you ask me. Last year I went vegetarian, lost like 40 pounds, sold my old truck, we bought a house, and I collected like ten new hoodies with nerd shit on them. That sounds like a pretty baller year to me.

[EDIT: maybe not ten, but pretty close.]

Next subject on the bad news front -- one of my sisters is dying. Slowly. Maybe. I don't know, exactly. I just know she's been in the hospital for over two months and, while I know the specifics as to why, I'm not going to write about them here. That's not so much out of respect for her feelings or my parents' feelings on the subject (though that is a large part of it) but because I don't even know how to fully process it myself at the moment. I have a great many feelings on the subject and not really any way to actually (or accurately) express them. I may write more about it later, but for now, no.

[EDIT: she made a full recovery and has been back amongst the living for some time now.]

Because I don't like being miserable, and because (again, in other news) my job is slowly getting worse and worse by the day, I brought up to the wife around the first or second week of May that we should try to get away this year for our anniversary -- it was our fifth wedding anniversary and that is a milestone in itself, and after the winter and spring full of snow and flooding and other bad shit happening, I wanted us to be able to get out of Nebraska for a few days and be able to decompress -- leave the state, and Omaha, behind for a bit, spend a little money, and just go do something fun and outside of the norm for us.

She and I passed back and forth several ideas within a day's driving distance -- we only wanted to spend a little money, so flying wasn't necessarily on the table -- including a few spots along the Great Lakes and a few places across the Canadian border, such as Winnipeg or Thunder Bay, Ontario. Daisy is a dual citizen and we both have passports, and it's not like we haven't been to Canada before. From where we are, we can get to Winnipeg in about 8 or 9 hours, Thunder Bay in 10 or 11. Roughly, including stops and the like. That was about the maximum amount of driving we could do in one day, however, and definitely the two most expensive options. However, in the beginning, I also floated the idea of Deadwood, South Dakota.

Why, you might ask? Well, it's in the heart of the gorgeous Black Hills, it's a really historic old west town (I mean, there's literally an entire, excellent HBO series based around it), it's 20 minutes from Wyoming and 30 miles or so from Mount Rushmore, and it's flanked by Rapid City (what appears to be a bit of a hipster holdout in the wild west) and motorcycle hub, Sturgis -- a town that has become so famous because of the biker culture and its yearly festival that there's literally a huge sign on the side of one of the mountains in the town that says S T U R G I S, in big letters, like the Hollywood sign.

Deadwood was also one of the cheapest options for a getaway as well -- a 3-day, 2-night stay in one of the more upscale hotel/casino/convention center destinations was less than $300, all inclusive.

Now, mind you, I'd never been to Deadwood. At least, not Deadwood proper, anyway. I'd watched the HBO show when it was on 15ish years ago with a passing interest only, really, and rewatched most of it again about a year or two ago. I had seen the Black Hills and Mount Rushmore on a trip out west in 1991 with my step-grandparents, but I mean, I was nine at the time, and well, I don't remember a lot of it, nor could I fully appreciate it all as a child.

Deadwood is roughly 8.5 hours from home, one way. After some lengthy discussions involving logistics, sightseeing along the way there and the way back (including the forever-famous-to-Dakotans Wall Drug), the wife stated that even though she found that sort of vacation rather dry and boring, she knew that she would enjoy it or find things to enjoy about it, such as vegan places to eat and the sightseeing, and said if that's what I wanted us to do, it was as good of a destination as any. It was as close to excitement as I would get out of her for it, and so that's what I chose. I took a week off work (our anniversary itself followed the Memorial Day weekend, so I padded it on both ends with PTO), and booked two nights at the Lodge at Deadwood Hotel, Casino, and Convention Center. She took off the two days at the end of the week and the following Monday, and everything was set and ready to go. I was thrilled.

Road trips are a big effing deal for me -- I love the time in the car with Daisy as we have had some of our deepest conversations ever on long road trips, plus there's always stuff to see, we stock a cooler with drinks and snacks, etc. The road trip itself is generally one of the best parts of the vacation for us, as the destination -- while fun in itself -- ends up being secondary. We were in good spirits, I would have (thanks to my cunning use of PTO), eleven straight days off from work, and I'd have almost a full week off to get stuff done around the house before we even left. Finally, I would be able to relax and decompress and have something fun to look forward to, for once, instead of a neverending slog back and forth to and from a job I was, and am, increasingly finding more miserable by the day. This trip would be something positive, something good.

Two nights into my days off and three days before we would leave for Deadwood, we got the most horrific thunderstorm/hailstorm I've seen since I've lived in Nebraska (if not in the midwest as a whole), and it washed out and destroyed the retaining wall at the back of our property adjacent to our neighbors' property, taking a good chunk of our yard with it and leaving our picket fence bent over into our yard and hanging by two of the now completely exposed fenceposts. In addition, it washed out all of the fill dirt underneath the concrete slab upon which our large outdoor shed was built. Said concrete slab is now cracked down the center, and while it is sturdy for the moment, in order to replace the wall and repair the fence, it will all have to be removed, including the shed, and the ground will need to be completely leveled out across the yard.

All estimates to perform all repairs, restore the wall, demolish the shed, level the yard, and fix the fence breached the five figure mark very quickly.

I...I don't even have the words, folks. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. There were more storms and rain predicted for basically the rest of the week, including the entire time we'd be in South Dakota, and neither I nor the wife knew whether the rest of the wall and fence were stable enough to remain stationary in the event of any more ground saturation. I tried to cancel the Deadwood trip. Daisy said not to -- if it got worse it got worse, there's nothing we could do about it or stop it. Moreover, there wasn't anything we could've done to prevent it; every contractor we spoke to said, upon their, ahem, postmortem examination(s), that the wall was poorly and improperly constructed in the first place several years ago, and nobody ever would've known that it was deteriorating from the underground, from the inside out, until a catastrophic failure like this occurred. Well, it occurred.

We asked our other neighbor to keep an eye on the house, wall, and fence for us, and left for Deadwood three days later.

Despite the stresses going on in our lives (my sister was already in the hospital by this time, and had been for a while), we were determined to push as much of it as possible out of our heads and to try to enjoy the trip -- since it was already bought and paid for. Before we left, I alerted Daisy to a few rather sobering facts about South Dakota:

1. There is not a single Whole Foods anywhere in South Dakota.
2. There is not a single Trader Joe's anywhere in South Dakota.
3. There is not a single Natural Grocers anywhere in South Dakota.
4. There are only three Aldi stores in South Dakota, and all three of them are in Sioux Falls, on the opposite side of the state from where we'd be.

I'm not sure how many Walmarts and/or Target stores South Dakota has, but without looking it up I want to say less then twenty total for either chain -- we drove across the entire state, from east to west and back again, right down the center on I-90. I saw one single, solitary Walmart (with a Sam's Club in the same plaza!) and maybe three Target stores the entire time we were in South Dakota. I have no idea where the vast majority of the state gets their affordable food and clothing, not to mention toiletries and home goods, unless they really do pile their families into a big truck/van/SUV and make a several-hour drive to the nearest store every few weeks. Amazon, maybe? How slow is Prime shipping to the Badlands, or to the towns like Deadwood far up in the mountains through slalom passes and thick forests?

Further than that, I'm not sure if South Dakota knows about the internet, nor am I sure if they actually have cell phones that work, because the signal for both of our phones across the entire, gorgeous state full of mountains and fields was piss poor. Piss poor to the point where we couldn't even route the GPS on Daisy's phone while we were driving, because we kept losing signal across large swaths of the state.

I also say they may not know about the internet because the wifi in the Lodge was just as piss poor, to the point where I had trouble actually getting apps to pull up on my phone even with full wifi signal. So maybe Amazon isn't much of an option for them either.

I don't want to speak poorly of the state, though -- it is beautiful open country, nature reserves, and friendly people -- all of whom apparently love fireworks and gambling. Every sort of firework is legal in South Dakota (I made the joke that it's because there's literally nothing there to blow up), as is every form of gambling. I'm not sure what the titty bars or alcohol laws are like, though, since we didn't, ahem, partake in those sorts of establishments.

Completely coincidentally (meaning, I didn't plan it at all), the premiere of the long awaited HBO movie follow-up to the Deadwood television series was on our actual anniversary, the Friday night we were in town. There was a premiere event in town at one of the big theaters where you could go see it on the big screen and meet some of the cast -- none of the big name players I was told, but some of the minor characters, and one of those actors (I can't remember which one) had a band who was playing the after-party -- that we had heard literally nothing about from any of the locals until we had already done all of our touristy stuff for the day.

[EDIT: The actor was W. Earl Brown, who plays Dan Dority on the show and has been in a billion things over the years as a character actor.]

"Oh yeah, they're having a big party down there at the theater for the movie, they gave away a bunch of free tickets and everything, got the band playin' afterwards and all that, heard lots of people are excited about it," the older man running the Mount Moriah Cemetery gift shop told us. "If you're in town for your anniversary you should go to it, especially if you like the show."

It is at this point that I should mention -- and probably should've mentioned it way earlier -- Daisy has never seen the show, aside from walking by the TV once or twice while Ian McShane was swearing up a storm or beating the piss out of somebody. She had a vague idea it existed, and an even vaguer idea of how good it is and of its critical acclaim (mostly from me telling her about it), but Deadwood isn't something that Daisy would ever actively seek out to watch -- it is not, as she would tell you, the type of media she likes to consume. It's not her bag, it's not her thing, and that's okay. Truth be told, a lot of the historical accuracy of the show is up for debate anyhow, and it's not something I would force on her to get her all hyped up for our trip or anything like that. That's not who I am.

So, at this point, I darted my eyes over to Daisy, who gave me a "meh, if you want" sort of shrug.

It was our anniversary, however, not just mine -- and I wasn't going to force the wife to go to an event that she didn't give a single solitary shit about, and truth be told by that time I was already quite tired, we still had a gold mine to tour, swimming to do in the Lodge's indoor pool, and a night of gambling ahead of us -- all stuff we'd planned out in advance -- not to mention that we'd already left the hotel at the asscrack of dawn to go see Mount Rushmore first that morning, and had come back up through Rapid City to go to a fantastic vegan restaurant Daisy had found in her searching for good food in the area. We were tired, and would be checking out and driving home the next morning before 11.

I only regretted it a little.

I told Daisy, however, that I had one solitary request, and it would take less than five minutes of her time -- you see, while they had the big premiere in town for the Deadwood movie that night, it was also unique as that was the night that it would also be premiering on HBO.

"I want to watch at least a small chunk of the Deadwood movie on HBO," I told her, "so that I can say that I watched the Deadwood movie, about the town of Deadwood, based on the series Deadwood, that was written about the people and locations in Deadwood, some of those people whose graves we visited today, while actually staying in, eating in, and sleeping in fucking Deadwood."

She agreed to this. I checked to see when it was on, and turned on our hotel room's big flat-screen TV, grabbing the channel listing card off the dresser to find HBO.

The hotel didn't get HBO.

What the fuck, South Dakota? 

What the FUCK, Deadwood? 

HBO had made that town about a billion times more famous than it ever would have been otherwise and the high-end gambling resort hotel we stayed in didn't have HBO on its cable package.

This is, to this day, the only hotel room I've ever stayed in anywhere that didn't get HBO. Even the Budget Inn I lived in between homes when I was living in Missouri got HBO.

Anyway.

We, ahem, celebrated our anniversary, went gambling and lost $100, and went swimming in the actually pretty neat indoor waterpark the Lodge offered, then showered and went to bed. The next morning, we were back on the road for Omaha.

Overall, the trip was fun. I glossed over a lot of the stuff we did and saw for brevity's sake. Part of the experience was to get away, and part of it was to celebrate our anniversary somewhere new. While we were driving, I told Daisy how excited I was to have the opportunity to see Pronghorn again, because they're one of my favorite animals -- and the upper west, especially South Dakota and Wyoming, are goddamn full of them.

"What's a pronghorn?" she asked.

"...they're like deer, but not," I said, trying to explain it to her. "Part deer, part antelope, part goat. Sort of. They're as populous out here as deer are back home."

"Uh huh," she said, rolling her eyes slightly.

I almost made myself look like a fool too, because throughout the entire trip there wasn't a single fucking one of them that made an appearance on the side of the road. We saw buffalo, actual deer, eagles, beaver dams, and all sorts of other wildlife, but the pronghorn had proven elusive.

That was, until we were driving back home, and saw them everywhere.


***

In the months since I originally wrote this post, we did get the wall rebuilt and repaired -- it was finished the night before Halloween (so, five months later) for about $10k total, give or take. It was done by a group of independent contractors over the course of a month, after we'd had at least ten different companies come out and provide estimates ranging anywhere from $11k to $35k. The group we hired not only removed the shed and concrete slab, but rebuilt the wall, rebuilt our fence -- including adding an entirely new section to it -- and completely leveled out our yard. Daisy will be using the back corner where the shed once was to put in an actual garden in the spring, more than likely, as there is no longer grass there (just dirt/fill dirt).

The night the wall was completed, as if it were an omen, we got an inch of snow. Temperatures have remained mostly freezing since, with only a hint of warm weather here and there -- today, for example, it's 67...and it's supposed to be 19 and snowy tomorrow night.

More to come, eventually.

Musicality

Similar to my last series of posts, detailing what ended up being, basically, my life story, for this post I thought I would cover music.

Music has been essential to my life, if you were paying any attention at all to those posts. So I decided to do an experimental thing here:

Year
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard:
My favorite song of the year (at the time):
My favorite song of the year (as an adult):
The song I've listened to the most from [year]:
Honorable mention that should be on the list:

This will span every year from birth through college, because after that I lost faith in pretty much all popular music of all sorts anyway. I'll also include some explanations as to why I made my choices here and there. You'll catch on as we go along. So, let's get started.



1982
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Olivia Newton-John, "Physical"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): N/A, I was a baby
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): Stevie Nicks, "Edge of Seventeen"
The song I've listened to the most from 1982: Journey, "Don't Stop Believin'"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Asia, "Heat of the Moment,";Iron Maiden, "Run to the Hills" or "Number of the Beast"

1982 was hard, as I was only alive during 1982 for a short time before it was 1983. Stevie Nicks was big for me growing up, though, as I was a fan of Fleetwood Mac -- and "Edge of Seventeen" is admittedly a pretty rockin' song. In my teenage years I was a huge Iron Maiden fan as well (and still am somewhat to this day)...but that damn "Don't Stop Believin'" song is everywhere even today, played multiple times a day on classic rock stations nationwide, and I've probably heard it more than any other song made that year, though not of my own choice. I like Journey, but damn. 1982 was sort of a crap year for music otherwise, really. The good stuff wouldn't hit until the next few years.


1983
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: The Police, "Every Breath You Take"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): N/A, I was still a baby
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): Toto, "Africa"
The song I've listened to the most from 1983: Duran Duran, "Hungry Like The Wolf"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Dexy's Midnight Runners, "Come on Eileen"; The Clash, "Rock the Casbah"; Fastway, "Say What You Will"

1983 was almost as hard as 1982, not because it was a crap year for music (it wasn't) but because a number of great songs and bands made their debuts this year, and it was difficult to choose but one that I either liked more than others or have listened to more than others. However, when it came down to it, clearly my favorite song of the year was "Africa," one of my top fifteen or so favorite songs of all time to this day. "Hungry Like The Wolf" is pretty high up there too.


1984
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Prince, "When Doves Cry"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): Ray Parker Jr., "Ghostbusters"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): Elton John, "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues"
The song I've listened to the most from 1984: Ray Parker Jr., "Ghostbusters"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Yes, "Owner of a Lonely Heart"; Duran Duran, "Union of the Snake"; Wang Chung, "Dance Hall Days"

1984 was much easier -- Ghostbusters dominated everything, and it is without a doubt the song I've listened to the most from that year, as well as probably my overall favorite song as a child. But I have a very big soft spot for Elton John, and "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues" is one of my favorite songs by him. I have a sort of connection to it, I guess.


1985
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Wham!, "Careless Whisper"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): David Hasselhoff, "Do You Love Me?"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): Tears for Fears, "Everybody Wants to Rule the World"
The song I've listened to the most from 1985: Tears for Fears, "Everybody Wants to Rule the World"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Philip Bailey and Phil Collins, "Easy Lover"; Stevie Wonder, "Part Time Lover"; Eric Clapton, "Forever Man"; Dire Straits, "Walk of Life"

Tears for Fears' "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" is my #1 favorite song of all time, ever. Few songs have a message that holds up as well as this one, almost 35 years later. "Easy Lover" is probably #2 on my all-time favorites list as well. As for my favorite song as a kid...look, I was a Knight Rider fan, okay? And the Hoff was everywhere back then.


1986
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Dionne Warwick and Friends, "That's What Friends Are For"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): Peter Gabriel, "Sledgehammer"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): The Outfield, "Your Love"
The song I've listened to the most from 1986: The Outfield, "Your Love"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Level 42, "Something About You"; Genesis, "Invisible Touch"; Baltimora, "Tarzan Boy"; AC/DC, "Who Made Who"; Judas Priest, "Turbo Lover"

If I had to pick a few songs from the 80s that really defined most of the the music of the decade, 1986 is a good year to pick from. "Your Love" is one of those great songs that has fantastic music, vocals, and an infectious hook that'll get stuck in your head for days, as is "Something About You."


1987
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: The Bangles, "Walk Like an Egyptian"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): TIE: T'Pau, "Heart and Soul" / Wang Chung, "Everybody Have Fun Tonight"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): Guns 'N Roses, "Paradise City"
The song I've listened to the most from 1987: Bon Jovi, anything off Slippery When Wet -- I've owned this album at least four times throughout my life in various formats.
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Whitesnake, "Here I Go Again"; Tiffany, "I Think We're Alone Now"; The Georgia Satellites, "Keep Your Hands to Yourself"; Samantha Fox, "Touch Me"; Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes, "(I've Had) The Time of My Life"

1987 was a weird year. Neon glam pop and hair metal were both in full swing, as was power-pop and synthpop. Bon Jovi was super-hot, as was Guns 'N Roses. But there were other gems of 1987, some of which I listed above, and there are many more that went unlisted.


1988
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: George Michael, "Faith"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): Terence Trent D'Arby, "Wishing Well"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): Poison, "Nothin' But a Good Time"
The song I've listened to the most from 1988: Poison, "Nothin' But a Good Time"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: George Harrison, "Got My Mind Set on You"; Belinda Carlisle, "Heaven is a Place on Earth"; Johnny Hates Jazz, "Shattered Dreams"; Bon Jovi, "Bad Medicine"; The Beach Boys, "Kokomo";  anything by INXS

1988 was a great year for music. However, Poison's "Nothin' But a Good Time" tops my favorite list for the year, and is quite easily one of my top five favorite songs to this day. It used to be my favorite song to blast out of the speakers of my Monte Carlo when I squealed the tires and drove recklessly -- Poison is just that kind of music.


1989
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Chicago, "Look Away"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): Bobby Brown, "On Our Own"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): The B-52s, "Love Shack"
The song I've listened to the most from 1989: Roxette, "The Look"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Fine Young Cannibals, "Good Thing" and "She Drives Me Crazy"; Great White, "Once Bitten, Twice Shy"; Richard Marx, "Satisfied"; Love and Rockets, "So Alive"; Alice Cooper, "Poison"; Young MC, "Bust a Move"

Once again, 1989 was a great year for music; I was a fan of Ghostbusters II, so obviously "On Our Own" was going to be at the top of my list as a kid. However, I really liked "Love Shack" too (and still do) and this was the breakout year for Fine Young Cannibals -- you couldn't go anywhere without hearing their songs on the radio. And, even though hair metal was on the way out, there was some good stuff coming out still.

By the way, if you want some late-80s actual insanity, go watch the video for "On Our Own."


1990
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Wilson Phillips, "Hold On"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): Poison, "Unskinny Bop"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): Depeche Mode, "Policy of Truth"
The song I've listened to the most from 1990: Alannah Myles, "Black Velvet"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Nelson, "Love and Affection"; Digital Underground, "The Humpty Dance"; Faith No More, "Epic"; AC/DC, "Thunderstruck"; Firehouse, "Don't Treat Me Bad"; anything by The Black Crowes

1990 straddled generations; for every Nelson, there was a Faith No More and Digital Underground. Hip-hop was starting to go mainstream. Hair metal was slowly on the way out and grunge and garage rock was slowly moving in. And Depeche Mode put out their best album to date, Violator. FIGHT ME if you don't believe that's true.


1991
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Bryan Adams, "(Everything I Do) I Do it for You"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): Roxette, "Joyride"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): Nirvana, "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
The song I've listened to the most from 1991: Metallica, "Enter Sandman"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Extreme, "More Than Words"; Mr. Big, "To Be With You"; Boyz II Men, "Motownphilly"; R.E.M., "Losing My Religion"; Chris Isaak, "Wicked Game"; Poison, "Something to Believe In"; George Michael, "Freedom"

1991 was really the last year for the power ballad as we knew it from the 80s. It was being replaced by the crunchier sounds of grunge and metal, as well as smoother R&B stuff and polished, somewhat sappy love songs. 1991 was one of the last years that pop music would teeter on the edge before falling over the cliff into mostly total bullshit.


1992
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Boyz II Men, "End of the Road"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): Right Said Fred, "I'm Too Sexy"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): The Cure, "Friday I'm in Love"
The song I've listened to the most from 1992: Cracker, "Teen Angst (What the World Needs Now)"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Genesis, "I Can't Dance"; Toad the Wet Sprocket, "All I Want"; Sir Mix-a-Lot, "Baby Got Back"; Ugly Kid Joe, "Everything About You"

1992 wasn't a great year for music, but it did feature one of my other probably top ten favorite songs of all time -- Cracker, "Teen Angst (What the World Needs Now)." If I ever write/direct a movie, this is going to be the end title theme.


1993
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Whitney Houston, "I Will Always Love You"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): Snow, "Informer"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): Soul Asylum, "Runaway Train" or Nirvana, "All Apologies"
The song I've listened to the most from 1993: Haddaway, "What Is Love"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Cypress Hill, "Insane in the Brain"; Green Jelly, "Three Little Pigs"; Duran Duran, "Come Undone"; Depeche Mode, "Rush"; Prince and the New Power Generation, "7"

I make no apologies for my choices this year. 1993 was mostly a crapshoot.


1994
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Ace of Base, "The Sign"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): Deadeye Dick, "New Age Girl"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): Nirvana, "Where Did You Sleep Last Night"
The song I've listened to the most from 1994: Nirvana, "Where Did You Sleep Last Night"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: The entire Dookie album by Green Day; Warren G and Nate Dogg, "Regulate"; Beck, "Loser"; Alice in Chains, "No Excuses"; Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, "Mary Jane's Last Dance"; Ini Kamoze, "Here Comes the Hotstepper"; Richard Marx, "Now and Forever"; Collective Soul, "Shine"; Toadies, "Possum Kingdom"

"Where Did You Sleep Last Night" is one of the most haunting songs ever recorded, and one of the absolute highlights of music in the 1990s.


1995
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Coolio featuring L.V., "Gangsta's Paradise"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): Seal, "Kiss From a Rose"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): Oasis, "Don't Look Back in Anger"
The song I've listened to the most from 1995: The Smashing Pumpkins, "Bullet with Butterfly Wings"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Skee-Lo, "I Wish"; U2, "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me"; Alice in Chains, "Heaven Beside You"; Better Than Ezra, "Good"; Rednex, "Cotton Eye Joe"; Silverchair, "Tomorrow"; The Pretenders, "I'll Stand By You"; Soul Asylum, "Misery"

1995 was a good music year. "Misery" is still one of the best songs from the 90s, and "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me" is what U2 should've been for every song they ever did. However, Oasis wins the top prize with "Don't Look Back in Anger," which sounds like it could've been a Beatles song, and remains pretty damn timeless even to this day.


1996
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Los Del Rio, "Macarena" (yes, seriously)
My favorite song of the year (at the time): Jamiroquai, "Virtual Insanity"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): Collective Soul, "The World I Know"
The song I've listened to the most from 1996: Metallica, "Until It Sleeps"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Blackstreet, "No Diggity"; Ginuwine, "Pony";  Bush, "Machinehead"; Oasis, "Champagne Supernova"; Seven Mary Three, "Cumbersome"; Eric Clapton, "Change the World"; Gravity Kills, "Guilty"; Deep Blue Something, "Breakfast at Tiffany's"

"Breakfast at Tiffany's" and "Virtual Insanity" remain favorites after all these years.


1997
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Elton John, "Candle in the Wind 1997"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): Cherry Poppin' Daddies, "Zoot Suit Riot"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): Fiona Apple, "Criminal"
The song I've listened to the most from 1997: Marcy Playground, "Sex and Candy"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Mark Morrison, "Return of the Mack"; Sister Hazel, "All for You"; The Wallflowers, "One Headlight"; Cake, "The Distance"; Blur, "Song 2"; Blink-182, "Dammit"

Alternative was beginning to take better shape in 1997, but it would still take a few more years to get to what it is today.


1998
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Next, "Too Close"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): Orgy, "Blue Monday"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): Barenaked Ladies, "One Week"
The song I've listened to the most from 1998: Rob Zombie, "Living Dead Girl"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Monster Magnet, "Space Lord"; Fastball, "The Way"; The Verve, "Bittersweet Symphony"; Lenny Kravitz, "Fly Away"; Beastie Boys, "Intergalactic"; Eve 6, "Inside Out"

Good lord, 1998 wasn't a great year for music, was it?


1999
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Cher, "Believe"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): Santana and Rob Thomas, "Smooth"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): Everlast, "What It's Like"
The song I've listened to the most from 1999: Barenaked Ladies, "It's All Been Done"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Sixpence None the Richer, "Kiss Me"; Eagle-Eye Cherry, "Save Tonight"; Fastball, "Out of My Head"; Citizen King, "Better Days"; Lit, "My Own Worst Enemy"; Godsmack, "Voodoo"; Savage Garden, "Chained to You"

1999 wasn't much better than 1998, but had some good ones.


2000
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Faith Hill, "Breathe"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): 3 Doors Down, "Kryptonite"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): 3 Doors Down, "Kryptonite"
The song I've listened to the most from 2000: 3 Doors Down, "Kryptonite"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Mystikal, "Shake Ya Ass"

2000 was an absolutely awful year for music -- at least for anything I liked, anyhow.


2001
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Lifehouse, "Hanging by a Moment"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): The Strokes, "Last Nite"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): The White Stripes, "Hotel Yorba"
The song I've listened to the most from 2001: Sum 41, "Pain for Pleasure"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: American Hi-Fi, "Flavor of the Week"; Uncle Kracker, "Follow Me"; Sum 41, "In Too Deep"; OutKast, "Ms. Jackson"; Crazy Town, "Butterfly"; Alien Ant Farm, "Smooth Criminal";  Jimmy Eat World, "The Middle"

Music was only marginally better in 2001.


2002
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Nickelback, "How You Remind Me" (yes, seriously)
My favorite song of the year (at the time): Chad Kroeger and Josey Scott, "Hero"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): Bruce Springsteen, "The Rising"
The song I've listened to the most from 2002: Chad Kroeger and Josey Scott, "Hero"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Eminem, "Lose Yourself"; Kelly Osbourne, "Papa Don't Preach"

Multiple times in the early 2000s I had dreams about marrying Kelly Osbourne. I am not kidding.


2003
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: 50 Cent, "In Da Club"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): The White Stripes, "Seven Nation Army"
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): Jet, "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" (anything off that album, really -- fantastic record).
The song I've listened to the most from 2003: The Darkness, "I Believe in a Thing Called Love"
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Lil Jon, "Get Low"; Saliva, "Always"; Audioslave, "Like a Stone"; The Offspring, "Hit That"; Fountains of Wayne, "Stacy's Mom"

2003 got better as it went on. Acts like Jet and The Darkness breathed new life into a music scene that was really getting stale and stagnant. I had both of their albums on heavy rotation that year.


2004
Overall #1 song of the year, Billboard: Usher, feat. Lil Jon and Ludacris, "Yeah!"
My favorite song of the year (at the time): The Killers' Hot Fuss. The entire album.
My favorite song of the year (as an adult): The Killers' Hot Fuss. The entire album.
The song I've listened to the most from 2004: The Killers' Hot Fuss. The entire album.
Honorable mention that should be on the list: Nirvana, "You Know You're Right"; OutKast, "Hey Ya"; Los Lonely Boys, "Heaven," and the entirety of Maroon 5's Songs About Jane.

Call it a cop-out if you want, but Hot Fuss is one of the greatest records released in my lifetime.


Annnnnnnnd that's it. I basically stopped caring about music after 2004 as there have only been about ten records period released since that I've genuinely cared about, and almost all of them are alternative. Here's a few, just so you have a bit of stuff to look up if you'd like:

Muse - The Resistance
The Killers - Battle Born
Beck - Morning Phase and Modern Guilt
The Architects - Border Wars, Vol. 1 
Pretty much anything by Grouplove, MGMT, Modest Mouse, Imagine Dragons, Young the Giant, or any of Jack White's side projects, particularly The Raconteurs.

Places, part X

~The final chapter~

While I have enjoyed writing these posts detailing my life for the past two or three months, they are very time consuming and need to be incredibly detailed in order for you to get the entire story without leaving big gaps of time or too many questions in what was going on. However, there were some years that not a whole lot of note happened, and there were others (like 2006 and 2007) where so many changes occurred at breakneck speed. I'm going to try to cover the last eleven years of my life in this post by hitting the highlights of each year, and expanding upon some stuff where necessary. So, sit back with a cup of coffee or make a sandwich, because it's a long ride -- four moves, three women, four visits back to West Virginia, grad school, a wedding, a house purchase, etc.


2008

For much of 2008, life remained status quo -- we lived in our apartment in St. Joseph (the new one), Alley continued school, I continued to work at the store on overnights with the occasional afternoon/evening shift thrown in (generally on Fridays when they needed the most help on the registers). The cats began to grow up. I began slowly transitioning a lot of my shopping to Amazon. Alley began her student teaching position at a local high school (her major was secondary education, as she'd always wanted to be a high school English teacher). On November 1, the grocery store changed ownership and its name overnight -- though we'd had some notice on that, of course -- and became a store that closed at midnight. All of its employees continued to work there under the new grocery empire we became part of, with the bonus that our uniforms received an upgrade, and some of us (including myself) got fancy windbreaker jackets to work in. Everything else remained the same. Barack Obama became president, and I helped to do my part by voting for him. I went Black Friday shopping with Alley and her mother and we took walkie-talkies to communicate with.

I actually should expand on that a bit. Alley's mother was, for many years (and may still be) always super-excited for Black Friday. Of course, back then Black Friday isn't what it is now -- what with everything starting on Thanksgiving Day now for a lot of places -- but it was getting there. And there was always something Alley's mother wanted for it, whether for us or for her husband. So, for a few years in a row, just because I actually found it rather amusing and fun, I'd get up at like 3am with Alley's mother, get some coffee in me, and we'd just go at it, fighting off the horde at a list of different stores that we usually had to hit in sequence, at certain times. I went several times; Alley I think only went once, maybe twice. In my mid-twenties, it was fun just to people-watch and possibly pick up something that I was interested in either for myself or for Alley, and Alley's mother needed the help. Now, in my mid-to-late thirties, it is something that I never plan to do again because it's a) too crazy, and b) too terrifying for my current levels of social anxiety, which seems to get worse every year as I get older. I feel like an old man, but I could never do it today unless forced to.

Christmas this year went well, for once; however, we were stuck in Kansas City when a snowstorm hit on Christmas Eve and dumped almost a foot of snow on us, delaying our return trip to St. Joseph. By this time, I could actually call in to work without getting fired, but I was scheduled to work overnight on Christmas night, and barely made it back in time.



2009

2009 was another year of big changes, so I'll cover what I can as briefly as possible, with bullet points:

• Alley finished up her student teaching as she prepared to graduate from college. She'd applied to various grad schools for creative writing/poetry and had been rejected from most of them at this point.
• Alley found out that the Grand Am she and her parents had purchased at a local car lot in KC the year prior was actually a stolen vehicle, repainted and reconditioned for a quick resale. She was totally the victim here and was not at fault, but while charges were being written up against the dealership, we still had to drive the car every day as it was our only transportation, and cross our fingers that we wouldn't get pulled over. We didn't.
• Pete began peeing blood and we took him to the vet; he had urinary crystals and they're chronic, and he will have to remain on (very expensive) urinary tract health food for the rest of his life.
• I became overnight manager at the store when one of our other managers was out on extended leave for testicular cancer. No pay raise, no further benefits, just an honorary title.
• Alley got me the phone I'd always wanted -- a magenta pink Motorola RAZR V3. 
• Due to me walking to and from work when the weather was nice, and eating apples/bananas/oranges every night for lunch -- not to mention the on-my-feet stocking work I did all night long -- I began to dramatically lose weight at a rapid pace, getting down to 260 or so at my lightest (70 pounds lighter than I am now, proving that I can lose weight).
• I bought a little pink netbook that I used as a portable writing device as well as an mp3 player. It ran Linux, but badly. I reformatted it later to original specs and donated it to a friend.
• The first real cracks in my relationship with Alley begin to slowly form, as we had been fighting about many things, including money and moving and her continued schooling.
• Alley gets accepted into Wichita State University for graduate school.
• Alley graduates from college.
• Because of the two above things, we set a date for moving out of the St. Joseph apartment to move back into Alley's old (now unused, as her parents had built a second, larger home) family house next to the train tracks for the summer before moving to Kansas.
• The Star Trek reboot comes out and we go see it in the theater.
• I end my employment at the grocery store in early June.
• We move out of the apartment and into the Kansas City house a week later, taking the cats with us -- the cats now must get used to Alley's large Australian Shepherd, who stays with us at the house a good chunk of the time now. It does not go well.
• The business with Alley's stolen car is settled, and the car is returned to the dealer to deal with the authorities for, and they receive a full refund (I believe). Alley and family gets away free and clear.
• Alley's father takes her to an auto auction and together they purchase a 1996 Ford Contour that had previously been a Kansas City police cruiser for $1,200.
• In July, my parents fly us both out to West Virginia to visit and see family/friends. The morning we were to fly out, Sadie decided to get stuck in the crawlspace between the two floors of the house, leading to us needing to lure her out with a can of tuna before we could leave to catch our flights.
• Alley finds us a house to rent in the little town of Newton, Kansas -- 25 miles or so north of Wichita -- which we move to in late July/early August. 
• Alley begins graduate school at Wichita State.
• It is October before we have internet in the house.
• I begin freelancing for the local newspaper.
• Our finances run really low and Alley is forced to take out student loans to help us survive. I am forced to quit smoking because we have no spare money. I hate this. 
• The holidays become a shitshow.

I should absolutely explain the last one further. 

I was not, nor was I ever -- throughout the course of our entire relationship -- a fan of Alley's father. My interactions with him I tried to keep limited at best, primarily because I couldn't stand him and was nothing like him. He and I were polar opposites; he was former military, the strong silent type, and never showed any emotion unless it was anger or disappointment. I, in turn, was a very emotional, heart-on-my-sleeve writer who didn't do construction work, who had never served in the military, and had gotten by on brains instead of brawn. All of this was complicated by the fact that Alley idolized him and spent as much time with him as possible, and each time she did, she came back to me acting more like him. This drove me crazy and was a major point of contention in our relationship. He was not exactly a fan of me either; while he tried to be nice when he could, he often came off as aloof and cold, and it seemed as if nothing I could ever do to make his daughter's life better was ever good enough. More than that, I was the unwanted intruder, it seemed -- I was the guy who his daughter thought would be a good idea to move out to the midwest, and who always constantly seemed like he was holding her back from doing something with her life. This was not the case, of course; Alley never did a damn thing she didn't want to do, and good luck trying to force her to -- I did everything I could while we were together to support her and keep her happy.

Well, over the holidays of 2009, the strained relationship I had with her father came to a head, and there was, shall we say, a verbal altercation. It was calm, metered out and relaxed, but it ended in Alley's father threatening to physically harm me. And I was having none of that, whether I was under his roof or otherwise.

After that, I was done; I washed my hands of Alley's family. I went back downstairs to the bedroom, where I remained until we left for Kansas again two days later. I didn't eat, I didn't interact with anyone, I was simply done. I was as done as done could be. Alley tried to get me to come out and be social with everyone, but it was fruitless of her to try. I knew, to some extent, even at that point that our relationship would eventually come to a close, and probably sooner rather than later. 

The remaining 2-3 times I would go visit her parents over the following two years (living in Kansas, we were now about four hours from Kansas City, probably a little more) I did simply to humor her and support her, but my interactions with anyone in her family other than her would forever remain as limited as possible after that day. 

2010

• I began working for the local grocery store, owned by the Kroger company. I hated it.
• The newspaper hired me on full-time as a reporter, layout designer, and webmaster.
• I summarily quit working for the Kroger company.
• Alley began her second of three years at Wichita State for her MFA.
• I applied to and was accepted into Wichita State for my own MFA. This stunned Alley, who always thought her poetry was better than my own (it's not, no contest) and who applied to multiple grad schools around the country, all of which had rejected her.
• I started grad school at Wichita State, leaving the newspaper to do so.
• I got my full Kansas driver's license, so that I could take the car to campus myself on days that she didn't need to go in. Her 1996 Contour is the first car I got a lot of experience driving in.
• I took my first of several student loans so that we could afford to eat and pay bills, and suddenly money was no longer a concern in our day to day lives.
• I began making and selling lots of tie-dye shirts, but most of them I kept and wore myself.
• I purchased a leather motorcycle jacket and new guitar, and grew my hair and beard long again.
• I began my teaching career. My students called me "The Wolfman" or "English Jesus."
• I purchased a new computer and used this newfangled "Amazon Prime" thing, which at the time was free for students, to do so. It was the first new computer I'd owned since 2004.
• Alley had kidney stone surgery. For the second time.
• I began to meet some new people who made me realize that my relationship with Alley wasn't exactly as good as I thought it was, or used to be.

By 2010, it was clear to everyone but me, it seemed, that Alley and I were dwindling down into the last days of our relationship. Both of us were restless and unfulfilled, and I'm sure both of us felt trapped because of our financial and living situation dependence on one another. My starting grad school only thickened that dependence, though I didn't see it that way at the time. My goals in life were simple and remained relatively unchanged -- better myself and my living situation as much as possible. Grad school was just a stepping stone to continue to do that, and it also gave me guaranteed employment and a paycheck for the entire time I was doing it -- which was the primary reason I'd decided to do it. While my overall plan was to create the most stable living situation and relationship for me and Alley, in reality, we were growing farther apart by the day. 

I was also not faultless during this time as I had cultivated a close friendship with another fellow grad student that Alley really didn't like -- the girl or the friendship. Said friend and I got drunk and made tie dye and watched a movie over Fall Break that year when Alley was out of town -- which Alley was well aware of at the time and beforehand -- and when Alley returned, she accused me of sleeping with her. I didn't (unless you count passing out on the futon together -- nothing improper happened). Still, Alley had a point in that my friendship with this girl had become a bit inappropriate, almost entirely on my part, and that friendship did end, rather poorly. It wasn't by my or Alley's choosing, either, and for a time I was rather bitter and morose about it as I really didn't have many friends I could talk to about anything. Kansas had isolated me in ways that few other places had.

It was also becoming clearer to me that I didn't know how much I could trust Alley, based on her behavior and anger at me over the smallest of things sometimes. I never once questioned my trust of her beforehand -- for the five years prior in our relationship I always trusted Alley implicitly with anything and everything. I assumed she was always being honest and forthright with me in all of her interactions, because she seemingly always had been. By this time I was beginning to wonder whether my assessment of that was accurate, and her behavior had become moody and erratic, sometimes lashing out at me with little to no provocation. I began seeing red flags here and there, some small, some large. But worse than that, I re-examined our past and caught numerous huge red flags that I'd previously missed. By the end (and well after) of our relationship, I'd find out that all of those red flags were completely warranted and factual.

Of course, I could also be a stubborn prick at times (ask my wife, she'll tell you all about it), so I'm sure I wasn't helping the situation much. I was very much at fault in many situations and many fights we had, something I can see with much more clarity now that I'm older and wiser with much more relationship experience under my belt. Both of us being young and inexperienced and just trying to play stuff by ear when we each needed detailed sheet music (proverbially, I mean) would lead to our eventual end.

I don't remember anything about the holidays in 2010. At all.

2011 

2011 was also a tumultuous year with a lot of stuff that happened, not all of it good -- but not all of it bad, either.

• In March, Alley and I celebrated six years together. I purchased her a really nice, expensive crock pot that she'd been wanting for a while for her for our anniversary.
• We flew to San Antonio for the PCA/ACA conference over Easter weekend.
• In June, with my tax refund money, I spent $500 on the first car I ever owned outright, my 1996 Chevrolet Monte Carlo Z34. 
• The next month -- almost exactly a month afterwards, in fact -- Alley and I broke up.

I am going to take a bit of time to talk about this here, because it bears talking about. So much of the history in these last several posts have involved Alley and our tenure in one another's lives, so to have that relationship end, and end for good, was a major life change for me. For both of us, really.

The end of the relationship was not a bad thing. I'll start off by saying that. I did not wish then, nor do I wish now, any ill will towards Alley. We both knew it was coming, and it was caused by a number of factors -- the major one being that we'd both become too complacent in the relationship. Both of us were letting things slide that we probably should not have. Neither of us were fighting for one another or for us. It was not something that therapy or getting some "personal space" or whatever could fix, but something that had just run its course and came to an end.

The breakup discussion was very straightforward and civil, almost like a business transaction, and I was grateful for that. I think we both were, actually. We were done, it was over, I had a car now and was not financially destitute, and she would be moving out within a few weeks. I offered to let her take one or more of the cats, but she refused, stating she didn't want to separate them. I offered to let her take the bed and she also refused, stating that she'd take the futon instead as she could use that both as a bed and a couch if necessary.

Most of the appliances and housewares were hers, and I -- for the most part -- let her pick freely what she wanted to divide up and the like. I didn't interfere or argue; rather, I stayed out of all of it and let her make her own arrangements and decisions. There was stuff she'd need when living on her own and it was just that -- stuff. Anything remotely important could eventually be replaced, and we kept separate finances, so that made things easier. Most, if not all, of the bills were in my name, and it was a simple process of a call to the landlord and a signature on a sheet of paper to get her removed from the lease and me made into the primary (and only) renter of the house.

For most of the next two weeks following, we barely saw one another -- basically on purpose. She spent almost all of her time locked in her office (the spare bedroom) and took care of getting a new place and arranging the move herself. She gave me an end date that she'd be living in the house, and was out either before or on that date -- I can't remember, really. 

Once she was gone, she was gone. It took a long time to get used to the quiet of the house when it was just me and the cats there, and longer to get used to a routine that didn't involve operating on timeframes or schedules of someone else. At the age of 28, I was suddenly living all alone for the first time in my life. It didn't scare me, but it was indeed a different experience. And at times the silence was deafening. 

Of course, friends and family found out first. I didn't make it a secret that we'd broken up, but I didn't broadcast it or immediately jump into the dating pool or anything like that either. Alley and I had been together so long that it felt like a divorce. Still, there was a part of me that felt a sort of peace, a sort of freedom. I was sort of disgusted by that feeling of freedom, since it was bittersweet and all that, but it was there. 

The trickier part was navigating the English department at school/work. Most people, when they break up, don't have to see their ex almost every day afterwards, let alone work with them and attend classes with them. Alley and I did have to deal with that. As such, we remained friends, sort of. At arm's length. Cordial and curt, only interacting when necessary -- two people not acknowledging the fact that they'd just ended a six-year-plus relationship. I didn't get all emotional or "poor me" about it -- it was what it was. 

After a while of that, and especially after she graduated, she and I sort of ceased being friends and rarely spoke again. I could say any number of things here that could or would drag Alley through the mud, and rightfully so, but I won't. Again, I wish her no ill will and never have. Any bitterness, depression, or anger about the Alley situation left me a long, long time ago.

She took the crock pot, though.

Anyway. Onward.

• I started my second year of graduate school in the fall. Alley started her third.
• I buried myself in my teaching work, helping to design two different new classes (and got to teach one of them for pretty much the remainder of my grad school career).
• I got my first two credit cards, ever -- which I used to help build my credit as I didn't have any up to that point. 
• I put new tires on the Monte Carlo as they were worn down to being almost completely bald, and replaced the spark plugs and wires to make it run more efficiently. This dramatically increased responsiveness and gas mileage in that car.
• I spent my first set of holidays completely alone for the first time in my life.

That last part was unique to 2011, because it had never happened before and has never happened again.

I wouldn't say that I was depressed that year -- not really, anyway. But I was lonely, and the loneliness made me a bit neurotic. I was also rather poor, interestingly enough; student loans disbursed on a schedule, and I wouldn't get the next deposit of them until mid-January. So, that meant that between the end of the fall semester and the beginning of the spring semester, a span of a month, I had to penny pinch quite a bit. I was fine with this; I had no social life to speak of, and it turns out that if you live alone and don't go anywhere, you don't really spend any money. Imagine that!

Here's an excerpt from this blog from Christmas 2011:

As for my Christmas, I don't remember most of it, to be honest, because (as you saw above) I was asleep. I don't remember what time I went to bed. In fact, I don't even really remember going to bed, just that I did. All I did was cook up my three little steaks for my "Christmas dinner," call my parents, spend a few of the morning hours on Facebook talking to a few friends, and then at some point I passed out. And just. slept. like a rock.

 This is true; Christmas was a lonely affair, and it's the one time of the year you're supposed to be with friends and family. Well, all of my friends and family were either back home in West Virginia or they'd gone home to their respective states and towns for the holiday break, and I was left all alone in the cold winter of Kansas. I didn't know anyone locally, as least not well enough to "hang out" with them or what-have-you, and never went anywhere but Walmart or the gas station (only when I had to, or when I needed cigarettes). The Monte Carlo was a big beast of a car with its 3.4L DOHC V6, and because of that, sucked a good bit of gas. It also had a terrible heater, so going anywhere in the winter and expecting to be warm for most of the drive was foolhardy.

So, I just stayed in and didn't do anything, much as in the same way I did for my birthday a few days prior. I did have some interesting insights on the year, however:

I wouldn't say I've been forced to mentally age more in this past year than in any other of my life, but it certainly wasn't voluntary for the most part. Let's be frank, folks, I've been through a lot of shit this past year, and none of it was truly voluntary. From the difficulties and monetary issues involved in buying and maintaining a landboat-like vehicle, to the slow disintegration of and eventual breakup of the relationship with my former girlfriend, to the perils and pitfalls of living alone, driving 150 miles a week back and forth for work/school, learning how to budget every penny, and dealing with the most difficult and work-intensive semester I've ever lived through, it's been rough. I won't lie. I've dealt with a lot of decidedly grown-up shit this past year, and it is only by sheer luck -- and the help and support of my friends and family -- that I've been able to make it through everything without giving up. Like I've said before, bettering myself a little more every day has become my motto in life, and I'm sticking by it. I have to, in order to keep getting up in the morning. It's that drive to succeed that will get me through my 29th year on this planet and hopefully carry me far into my thirties. 

That motto, as I've mentioned before in this series of posts, has done me quite well over the years.

2012

I remained single and alone for seven months after the breakup with Alley. Seven months is a long time to be left alone to one's own devices, especially if you've been used to having someone around you constantly, or having someone to interact with who will actually talk back to you (which the cats, of course, did not). The solitude was making me a bit stir-crazy, the cold and dark and snow of the winter was making me depressed, and combined, I began to develop anxiety issues about other people as well as the outside world. This anxiety continued to grow and grow, quietly, slowly. I started to become very paranoid and neurotic about almost everything. It was not a good time for me -- it turns out that a few days or weeks of peace and quiet is fine and can sometimes be exactly what I need to reset or center myself, but constant solitude and quiet is maddening. I developed patterns and compulsions that made no sense. I would have entire conversations with myself, aloud, just to hear my own voice -- any voice. The TV and movies wouldn't do it, they all just sounded like static. I was so sick of music and podcasts, but kept listening to my podcasts compulsorily just so I wouldn't get behind on them. 

Mostly, I just kept to myself. I felt like I was broken, like I wasn't worthy of anyone's thoughts or attention, and just went to and from campus every day -- when school was in session, anyway -- in a sort of daze. About every two or three weeks or so, on a Thursday afternoon when I was done teaching for the week -- I would stop at the local Arby's or Burger King on the way home from campus and would treat myself with enough food to take home and eat over the course of the weekend. This was about the only way I could actually treat myself or give myself something to look forward to when money was tight -- I seem to recall that I didn't take any more student loans until the end of that year, so what money I had was precious.

• With the spring 2012 semester, I was 2/3 of the way through my graduate school career.
• On the advice of a friend, I opened an OKCupid profile. With it, I would find my next girlfriend, Lady, in February 2012. I then deactivated said profile.
• I visited my parents in West Virginia over Spring Break. Lady made the trip as well and met them.
• The Monte Carlo blew its serpentine belt and belt tensioner on the way home from late classes one night, and it cost me $300 to get it repaired.
• Shortly thereafter, I received my first (and only one, ever) speeding ticket just north of Wichita. 
• Lady and I broke up in May 2012.
• Shortly thereafter, I reactivated my OKCupid profile, where I found Daisy.

There are a lot of events here happening all at once over the course of a few months' time, so I'll recap them as briefly as possible. Lady was much younger than I was; she was a sophomore in college, and she'd had an interesting life. I fell for her almost immediately, and when we broke up, it devastated me -- far worse than Alley did. I was at a very low point before her and was at a lower point after her, though that's far more on me than it is on her, of course. It was a very fast, intense relationship that burned out and ran its course just as quickly for a number of reasons, and that's all that needs to be said about it. I also wish no ill will towards Lady; the end of our relationship was painful on both sides, and re-living that pain by writing about it would be akin to a sort of trauma. 

Daisy was different.

Daisy lived in Omaha, was vegan, very much a free spirit peacenik, and was kind and compassionate. She was not nerdy at all, she was a bigger girl and very body-positive about it, had wild and curly hair that occasionally she put streaks of color in (or changed the color of completely), and seemed by all first impressions like she was 100% my polar opposite and not someone I would ever get along with or end up with.

I began talking to Daisy in late June, about six weeks or so after Lady and I had ended our relationship. It was slow-going at first; I was very wounded and guarded, and Daisy had (and still has) a tendency to keep people at arm's length. Our interactions were friendly but also lightly flirty, as we slowly explored each other's psyches.

I won't say that there weren't bumps in the road -- there were, and they were big ones later down the line as we slowly formed our relationship. My thoughts on Daisy at the time were cautiously optimistic and heavy on the caution.

I met Daisy in person for the first time on July 4th. Over the course of the next few months -- very slow months -- we gradually built our relationship. I always said our real anniversary was the day we started speaking in June, but we didn't solidify our relationship until mid-October when we both agreed that yes, we were committing ourselves to one another and locking it down.

In the interim, and of course the after, Daisy would make trips to Kansas about once or twice a month, making sure I had good (vegan) food as well as to spend the weekend with me. Occasionally she would also sit in on my classes while I taught, or we'd go to a movie or the like -- typical dating stuff, really.

• I turned 30 this year.
• In December, Daisy and I celebrated our first Christmas together (several days before the actual holiday).
• I flew back out to visit my parents for the actual Christmas, where -- via Skype -- they got to talk to Daisy for the first time. 
• I ended my final fall semester of graduate school.
• I visited Daisy's parents for the first time for the new year after returning from West Virginia, making it my first trip to Omaha. 

2013

2013 was much a continuation of 2012; my relationship with Daisy was progressing and incredibly stable, and in January I was entering my final semester of graduate school. This meant that I was busy, but busy doing different things than I had previously. While still teaching, I had all but completed my actual coursework needed for graduation, and was left with not much but studying for my comprehensive exam (comps) and readying my poetry collection for review and acceptance (read: this is the equivalent of a thesis or dissertation, really). By the time I started the semester, the book was mostly "locked," as they say, save for a few edits here and there. This freed me up for a lot of different things -- lesson planning, cooking, cleaning, etc -- but mostly, studying for comps. 

Let me elaborate a bit on the comps, because for anyone unfamiliar with higher academia, it may be confusing when I use the term. I had to purchase (or otherwise obtain) and read all of these books, taking notes on each one:

All were of my choosing; I could've picked anyone I wanted. So I compiled a list of poets who spoke to me, or who at least spoke to my sensibilities and thoughts on life.

Here's the thing: I hate reading poetry.

I do, that's not a joke. I am great at writing it, but I've never been able to stand reading it -- save for maybe a small handful of authors. Those folks are on the list, of course -- Dickinson, Lerner, O'Hara, etc. Most everyone else on there I could take or leave. While I have grown an appreciation for the works of Walt Whitman the older I get, at the time I couldn't stand him and my fellow poets thought I was crazy for not being a fan. Whitman just wasn't my thing. A lot of poets on the list above weren't my thing and still aren't. But, they had to be able to test me on something and I was a fan of broadening my horizons, so I picked a lot of folks that I thought I'd be able to cultivate an appreciation for.

I was wrong. Well, for the most part.

Your chosen comps director takes your reading list, creates a longform essay exam from it (something like three super-long essay questions), and then administers it. The exam takes the better part of the entire day to take; I believe it was something like six hours with a half hour break after each section, something along those lines -- it was a long time ago now. Closed book, no notes, and you're expected to be able to expound upon the "knowledge" you've gleaned from reading all of the above books on your reading list -- in an eloquent fashion, no less. The exam is taken a month before you graduate and results are made available a week or so after you take it. My comps were on April 5, which meant that I had approximately 90 days to ready myself for them, roughly, from the time the semester started.

I did little else over this time; I graded my students' papers, created modified lesson plans based on the ones I'd used the semester prior, and (as much as I really didn't want to) I was forced to sort of phone it in when it came to the courses I was teaching; I didn't have much choice. I spent so many hours on the couch with a book, a pen, and a notepad in front of me, drinking cup after cup of coffee and smoking cigarette after cigarette (this was back when I smoked, of course). In a good week I could finish 3-5 books, maybe more if the author didn't have a large body of work. 

About six weeks in, I was in dire need of a break. The weather had been awful, I was almost completely burnt-out on reading poetry and criticism of poetry, and I needed everything to stop. It was nearing Valentine's Day, and it would be the first Valentine's Day that Daisy and I would spend together -- she was coming down for the weekend. I needed to do something special.

What the hell, I thought, I'll just propose to her.

Truthfully there was more thought to it than that, of course. Obviously. Several weeks before, I'd purchased a ring for her, and I'd created elaborate plans of how it could be done. Most of those plans seemed infeasible due to the weather and time constraints, so instead I went to the local grocery store the day before Valentine's Day and asked for daisies. The floral department lady looked at me like I was stupid. 

"We have rainbow mums," she said. "They look sort of like daisies." 

"Sure, I said, "fuck it, that works."

I bought a bouquet of them, took them home, dismantled the apparatus holding them together, and replaced it with the engagement ring -- it was the ring holding them together in a bunch -- and then put them in a blue vase (actually an ice cream sundae holder) with some water, and waited for Daisy to arrive.

I'll stop here for a moment to say that I'm not an idiot; I know when I have a good thing and don't want to let it go, and I also knew that mentally and spiritually, there was nobody better for me than Daisy. She balanced me out. She was my rock. Most of my neuroses and anxieties went away when I was with her. It also helped that she adored me and I knew there was no way she would say no. 

Well, I hoped not, anyway.

Truth be told, she and I hadn't talked about marriage a lot before this time. It had come up as a possible eventuality, and it's not like we'd never spoken the word to one another, but still. We'd only been technically a couple for less than six months, I barely knew her family (not to mention I hadn't met any of her friends yet) and our ideologies did not yet match on a lot of things -- she and I were very different people. But, we loved each other, and that was what was important. Both of her sisters had married young as well, leaving her as the only free spirited, old maid still living at home with her parents in her mid-twenties, well after graduating from college. I'd been in that boat as well, obviously. Truthfully, I didn't know that it was what I'd wanted; I'd seen a number of friends by this time have some pretty horrific breakups and some divorces, and I'd also had a pretty horrific breakup before I met Daisy. But what I knew is that I never wanted to be apart from Daisy, that no matter what I always wanted her to be mine. 

When she got to my house, I gave her the flowers, then sat down with her on the couch and asked her to look at them a bit more closely. When she did, she found the ring. And (at her request that I actually do it properly) I got down on one knee and asked her -- in the middle of the kitchen. She, of course, said yes.

• I propose to Daisy on Valentine's Day and she accepts. When I tell my students in class the next day back, I get a standing ovation and applause, which I was not expecting. 
• I spend Spring Break in Omaha with Daisy and her parents, where I meet a few of Daisy's friends as well.
• I take my comps on April 5 and pass -- congratulations, I am allowed to graduate.
• In mid-May, I graduate with my Master's degree. That night, Daisy and I attend a graduation party with everyone in my class.

As an aside, for some reason, Alley was at said party. She had not been invited, and just showed up (everyone made it a point to tell me that, for some reason). She met Daisy and then proceeded to give both of us the stinkeye all night long. Oh well. It would be the last time I would ever see, or even hear from Alley ever again.

• "The Trashing" begins -- where I spend a good chunk of the summer packing up boxes and doing a deep clean/throwaway of all the stuff in the house that I don't need and/or don't want to take with me when I eventually move out. It kills a lot of time and allows me to pare down a lot of my belongings.
• Daisy gets a new job and I help her get work clothing to wear.
• Without teaching, I run pretty much completely out of money, and am forced to sell one of my guitars and a bunch of video games and DVDs just to be able to pay the rent and eat. Daisy gives me money to help out.
• I begin applying like mad for both local jobs as well as teaching positions all around the area so that I can actually use my degree. I get no results. 
• I reach back out to the English department and basically beg them to hire me on as an adjunct professor for the fall, either campus, to teach anything they want and as many sections of those classes as they want. They agree to do so.

Summer/fall 2013 was really rough financially. It was a very hot summer and my air conditioner was dying (and very expensive to run); I was super-poor and was having trouble paying my bills, so I was basically living off my credit cards and paying minimums every month; I didn't have much of a choice. Survival on the bare minimum of money I had became my goal, and it was barely achievable. By the time I began teaching again in the fall, I was supremely grateful that I was getting a paycheck again.

• Daisy and I set our wedding date for the following summer. 
• I begin teaching as an adjunct professor for the 2013-14 academic year.
• I spent the holidays with Daisy and her family, including her sisters and the kids. 

2014

This was a big year, folks. One of those really formative big years.

• In January, I started my second semester as an adjunct professor.
• Daisy and I begin planning for the wedding.
• Over the course of several months, I clean out/throw away/sell/donate a large amount of furniture and goods in the house and pack up most of my belongings I won't use before I move.
• With the help of Daisy's parents, Daisy finds us an apartment in Omaha and sets up a year lease.
• I hold a massive garage sale over the "city-wide garage sale" weekend and make close to $300 in cash. I also give away a large chunk of stuff via Craigslist and donations to the local DAV/Salvation Army afterwards.
• I teach the last sessions of my career as a professor in early May and administer the last final exams I'd ever give. I summarily resign my teaching position afterwards in preparation for the move to Omaha.
• I apply to work at the company Daisy works for, and am accepted quickly -- I defer my paperwork and training classes until the next round is in session as I am still in Kansas at the time.
• Beat up and nearly dead as it was, I drove the Monte Carlo up to Omaha for the first and only time, the longest drive I ever made in it in one session (305 miles, one way), alone. It purred like a kitten and drove like a charm. I parked it there at the parents' and returned with Daisy to Kansas to move out of the house.
• I rented a U-Haul truck and Daisy and I filled it with everything I had that was coming with me, then spent the next 36 hours afterwards cleaning the house as much as possible. I injure my arm while moving, an injury that would end up taking weeks to heal.
• I do not get my deposit back and instead am billed something like $200 for further cleaning and reconditioning of the house after moving out. I pay it and say fuck it to the whole scenario.
• Daisy drives the truck, and I drive her car (with all three cats inside in their carriers) up to Omaha to our new apartment. 
• We unload the truck with the help of Daisy's parents and a friend, return it, and we're home.

The apartment in Omaha was, at the time, great for us. It was in a secured building, rent was reasonable enough for a two-bedroom on the second floor with a balcony, and aside from one or two younger couples in the building, it was populated almost completely by senior citizens. Parking was plentiful and I could always see my Monte Carlo in the lot from the window or from the balcony, and it wasn't in a terrible part of town. We were also, luckily, about three miles from where Daisy worked (and where I would soon work as well).

• A week and a half after settling into the apartment, Daisy and I married. My parents were in attendance as well as friends and other family who had traveled from very far away to witness everything. We held the wedding and reception in the local VFW hall, and it was catered by Fazoli's. It was a very inexpensive wedding and we'd planned it that way from the start. At the end of the night, we returned home and Daisy changed her last name on Facebook before both of us passed the fuck out.
• The next day, all of the family still in town (so, close to fifteen of us total) went to the Omaha Zoo. At the end of the day we all got caught in a torrential rainstorm that turned into some awful thunderstorms and tornadic activity in the area. Welcome to Nebraska!
• Daisy and I would also experience similar weather a week or so later when we went to Target to use some of the gift cards we'd received; the tornado sirens went off and everyone in the store was herded into the employee lounges for the better part of an hour. 
• I obtain my first smartphone ever, an iPhone 5C, finally ditching my old Samsung flip phone.
• Daisy receives a promotion up to management in her job.
• I let the job know that I was now in Omaha and available to come in and do all the paperwork for hire, and they scheduled me to do so in July -- with the next training class starting at the end of August. This meant that I had a job, but it wouldn't start for a month. This was fine; I became a happy house husband during this time, unpacking and cleaning things, cooking, and making sure the apartment was set up the way it was supposed to be. I also registered and plated the Monte Carlo in Nebraska.

The job was and is still the job I'm working at today -- being a cog in the telecommunications machine. It wasn't glamorous but it was steady employment with a starting wage higher than anything I'd ever made in my life. It would allow us to become financially independent, which was good, because (like clockwork) my student loans would start coming due within another year or so. 

• I began working 3p-12a at the job in September, second shift, after a two-week 8a-5p training class for the second half of August. This later changed to 2p-11p as the fall went on.
• Over Thanksgiving week, the Monte Carlo is broken into at work and destroyed -- on the same day I had gotten it an oil change and two new tires. The 230k+ mile car is a total loss as the wiring is stripped out of it and the ignition/steering column mauled in an attempt to steal it. I am suddenly without a vehicle. I have it towed back to the apartment where I eventually sell it to a junkyard at the end of the year for parts, for $300. The entire scenario causes me great anger and makes me very distraught as that car was my baby. The job does nothing, even though it happened on their property, and the would-be thieves are never caught.
• We get the 2014 Christmas Eve snowstorm, which (according to forecasters) would give us a dusting to two inches during the daytime hours on Christmas Eve. We ended up getting nine inches over a six-hour period while I was wrapping presents for the family, and were forced to skip the Christmas Eve church services with the family (though we did make it across town to the parents' house that night for dinner and festivities).
• Daisy and I both work New Year's Eve and New Year's Day together, me on 2nd shift and her on overnight.

2015

• Daisy and I finally plan our honeymoon trip to Maine and Nova Scotia for the late summer.
• It is announced in March that our company has been purchased by another firm, and that our program within the company will become said new firm's crown jewel of the acquisition. All of us low-level employees are rightfully concerned.
• Daisy and I settle into married life and living together. It is sometimes easier than others, as I had been used to being alone for so long. I had also been used to smoking in the house, which I couldn't do in our apartment. As such, and because I know people at work who do it, I begin researching vaping.
• Daisy's sister and brother in law move out of Nebraska to go to British Columbia; we help them pack, clean, and repaint their house for sale, and as they can't take it with them, brother in law gives me his 2002 Silverado 1500 work truck. It needs a lot of work and maintenance, mostly cosmetic, but it runs well and provides me with reliable transportation once more.
• I get my first passport ever and Daisy updates her own.
• I get the truck plated and registered in my name and add it to Daisy's insurance -- full coverage.
• The trip to Maine and Nova Scotia is set to occur once I get my PTO roll over (after I'd been working at that job a year) and we go in late August, coming back after Labor Day. It becomes a tradition from that point forward that we do our yearly vacations around the Labor Day holiday.
• In October, due to restructuring (amongst some other reasons), Daisy and I both switch to dayshift hours and I get a lateral move/"promotion" up to the escalations team. Daisy takes over another team on days as an attempt to turn her part of the program around.
• Daisy's parents finish their retirement processes from their jobs and officially retire. 
• We hold Canadian Thanksgiving in our apartment for the family.
• I purchase a full-body spandex Superman suit. 
• Star Wars: The Force Awakens is released around my birthday. We go see it the day after Christmas, even though both Daisy and I are dreadfully sick -- the trip to the movie was the birthday/Christmas present from my other brother in law still living here in the states. 
• Daisy, with a little input from me, purchases for me my first sub-ohm vaping device for an early birthday present -- this gets me on the wagon to help quit smoking. Said device dies in two months and I buy two more, one as a regular user and one as a backup.

2016

2016 was pretty status quo for the most part.

• I quit smoking in April 2016 and move over to vaping full-time. I begin amassing my vape collection.
• Pokemon Go is released in July. Daisy and I both choose Team Instinct.
• In August, I am promoted up to an interim manager position when my current manager changes segments into a different part of the program.
• The same day that becomes official, Daisy's mother has a heart attack (in retrospect, I should have taken this as some sort of omen). She lives, but it takes her a few weeks/months to recover fully.
• We venture to New Orleans to attend the wedding of two of Daisy's friends. Daisy was not a fan of the trip; I had a blast. Plus, our hotel had a Pokestop in it that we could hit from our room.
• In the fall, Daisy finds a new job and leaves the company.
• Shortly thereafter, I am informed that there is an operations manager position available on overnights. I request it from our executive director and it is approved. I become interim overnight manager on October 20. It is two months later before it is made fully official, and four months after that when I become salaried.
• I dress as a Team Rocket grunt for Halloween at work.
• The dark days of our great nation begin when Donald Trump is elected president. I was at work that night and got to watch it all live on the big-screen television behind my desk.
• Thanksgiving week this year marks ten years of living in the midwest.
• The holidays proceed as usual.

2017

2017 is pretty status quo as well for the most part.

• The truck begins experiencing some issues here and there, and the tires are wearing out badly. I do not have enough money to give it the upkeep and tune-up it truly needs, so I begin driving it less and less.
• Because I quit smoking, my weight starts rising again. Quickly. I gain 50 pounds in ten months.
• My student loans, long deferred, become due. I am forced to start paying over $600 a month on them, every month. 
• The cats turn ten in April and May.
• This blog turns ten in August.
• We visit West Virginia over Labor Day weekend -- by car -- to see family and friends and to bring back everything I left there eleven years prior. This includes my comic book collection, my guitars, some random clothing, and my action figure collection, amongst other scattered things. More importantly the visit is to see my grandmother one last time, who is 90 and living in a nursing home in Morgantown as she is slowly dying of congestive heart failure (and numerous other old-age things). This would be Daisy's first and only visit to my hometown, allowing her to meet my grandmother as well as other family and friends who hadn't been able to make it out to the wedding three years prior. The trip takes a full week.
• I upgrade from an iPhone 5C to an iPhone 7, which I still have and use today.
• I begin testosterone therapy for low testosterone, probably directly attributable to my weight and stress levels from work.
• For Halloween I wear my Mega Man jumpsuit to work.
• I reach my highest weight ever, close to 380 pounds. I can feel it -- it is not pleasant. Everything is harder to do, my joints ache, and I never feel like I can get any real rest or be comfortable in my own skin.
• I turn 35. For my birthday, Daisy purchases me Luke Skywalker's lightsaber and we go to see The Last Jedi. If you haven't seen it by this point, that's on you, because I'm about to spoil the ending -- Luke Skywalker dies. That makes the gift of the lightsaber a bit bittersweet.
• The other holidays proceed as per the usual.

2018

• We begin to experience some big-time maintenance issues in the apartment -- leaking ceilings, crumbling walls in the laundry room, overflowing shower drains from the people upstairs, heating/cooling issues, and our apartment-owned microwave dies. All of these things get fixed, sometimes repeatedly, by the maintenance crews for the building -- people who should probably set up a cot in our hallway because they're in our place so often. This does not help me sleep during the daytime (as I'm still on night shift). 
• On top of all of this, our rent goes up another $80 per month.
• Subsequently, Daisy and I begin our search for a house to purchase.
• I decide to take control of my health and weight and start keeping a "fat board' on January 1 -- when I am 376.4 pounds. I begin the keto diet. 
• In January -- almost four months to the day after I last saw her in person during our trip to WV -- my grandmother dies. I do not return home to attend the funeral, as I'd said my goodbyes when I was there, and at that time she'd personally told me it was okay, because she knew how expensive and time consuming it was to travel. 
• One of my overnight employees, and a friend, contracts breast cancer and requires a double mastectomy because of it.
• One of my other overnight employees begins coughing up blood at work, leaves for a few hours to go to the ER, and comes back saying they said he's fine, it was more than likely a nosebleed. He works four more hours after that.
• The next night (when I'm not in the office) he comes in for his normal shift, begins feeling really sick, and leaves again to go back to the ER. He stumbles in and dies in the doorway. There is no service and no funeral, and me and my team don't find out what happened for several days.
• Over the course of four months, I lose forty pounds on the keto diet. I ease off it a bit and try to stay mostly lower-carb only, but continue to track my progress. I lose a little bit more weight but cannot crack the 50-pound mark no matter how hard I try.
• Over Memorial Day weekend my office moves to another building across town, and suddenly it takes me three times as long to get to and from work, in much heavier traffic than I'm used to. I also lose all remote access to work from home that I previously had (I still don't have that access back, even now). 
• Daisy and I spend the summer looking at houses to purchase, and put in numerous offers. All of them are rejected. Our rent is now month-to-month as we do not want to stay in that apartment any longer than we have to. 
• I go fully vegetarian after keto and even low-carb burned me out on meats and fats. The weight remains off. I still consume dairy products and egg-containing foods, which is the only thing that stops me from being fully vegan.
• In late August, we find a house we like and really want, and put in an offer. It is quickly accepted as the family is moving across the state and needs to be out as soon as they can be. We pick up the keys in late September, on the morning the family moves out, and begin moving in that afternoon. We finally own a home. This home is also less than three miles and a straight shot down the street from my job, but is much further away for Daisy's job.
• In the fall, my executive director calls me one morning out of the blue to tell me that yet another coworker, colleague, and friend has died -- this comes as a shock as I'd just talked to said friend a few days prior. 
• I have my bloodwork and physical done to find that going keto and then vegetarian has done miracles for my blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar, and general health. However, my testosterone is still very low, so they double my daily dosage.
• I sell my Silverado to Copart as I have no room for it at the new house and it would cost more to fix than it is worth. The experience is a miserable one, but I get over $800 out of the beaten down, rusting-out truck. Over the course of the year prior I had driven the truck less than five times. I was sad to see it go, but it is what it is. 
• We have family and friends over for a birthday party for me in our new house. I turn 36.
• We celebrate our first Christmas in the new house. I get Daisy a SNES Classic. She, in turn, gets me a NES Classic. We spend the New Year with the parents, Daisy's sister, and the kids.

2019

You're lookin' at it, folks.

I do have several posts I've written here over the course of the past several months that I am not yet finished with; in the coming days and weeks I'll be posting those here as well once they're done -- including a post about music as well as the long-awaited "sociopath test" post that I alluded to in my earlier stories here. I also have a post that details, well, the story of our summer, and a work-related post that I'm waiting to share here for several reasons (mainly because the "story" of it is still ongoing, and I'm continually adding to it).

I sincerely hope you've enjoyed this series of posts because it has been a very long undertaking in writing them, telling my life story, moving through some of them at a snail's pace just to be able to get the details right. I've never claimed to be a great writer, but I do enjoy the craft (as you can see).