Spring semester: day twenty-one
Much of the weekend was a blur, as weekends usually are when I'm tired and stressed out. It was a good blur, yes, but I'm trying to remember everything that happened and in what order so that I can better recount it all.
So. I'll pick up where I left off, on Valentine's Day itself.
We didn't do a whole lot, really. We didn't have plans to do a whole lot anyway, so it's not like we had plans that fell through or anything like that. Daisy dressed up for me (take from that what you will) and gave me her Valentine's Day presents -- some candy, a vegan beef stick, homemade oatmeal cookie bars, and the big one that I loved the most out of all of them -- homemade nerdy pillowcases:
In case you can't see the designs that well, the left one is the women of DC Comics -- Supergirl, Wonder Woman, and Batgirl -- and the right one is classic Marvel heroes. I love them both. Like, a lot. This was an awesome gift. She made my Christmas stocking out of the same fabric pattern she used for the Marvel pillowcase. I'd love to see if I can get a shirt pattern for either her or Mama to see if either of them could make an awesome button-up shirt with this style of fabric. I'm such a nerd. She made the pillowcases because I hate most of the pillowcases I have -- I have a king-size bed, so the sheet sets for said bed come with king-size pillowcases when I don't have king-size pillows, just normal ones. That means those pillowcases are like eight inches too long, and it drives me nuts (I'm a very particular person about this sort of thing, apparently).
Daisy made these because of that, and I was sooooo happy. She said they didn't take too long to make, either. I'm marrying a woman who can sew, folks! I'm thrilled about that. So thrilled.
In addition to those things, I also got a surprise Valentine's Day present (I suppose) from her father -- two massive garbage bags full of really nice pants. Dad has been losing a lot of weight over the past few months, and his waist size before that was 42 -- the same waist size I've had since I was in 7th grade, which has never changed no matter how much weight I gain/lose (because the way my hips are shaped and because of the way I carry my weight and wear my pants). Well, now that these pants are way too big for him, apparently, he wanted to donate them to charity -- but as you know, Dad's policy is "family first," so they went to me.
I tried on all of them. I modeled them for Daisy. They are all a perfect fit. Every pair. And there are probably thirty pairs in all, of several different designs (cargo pants, slacks, dress slacks, casual work pants, etc), including three pairs of shorts, which fit just as nicely. And all of them are in great shape. It's like I died and went to pants heaven. From now until the end of the semester I'll be wearing new-to-me pants almost every single day, sometimes even with the shoes Dad gave me over Thanksgiving (which I wore to teach in on Thursday, actually, so Daisy got to see what those look like on me as well). I'm thrilled. And I did, of course, thank him for the gift.
As an aside, as I've mentioned before, Daisy's parents are indeed wonderful and have always done all sorts of things to let me know I'm loved, wanted, and appreciated. Mama constantly bakes breads and rolls for me for almost every time Daisy comes down here, and worries strongly about my health (because I smoke), amongst many other she does for me/us. Dad is able to bond with me in ways he can't bond with other people, since we both know a ton about computers, have a penchant for tie-dye (which Mama does as well) and I have an appreciation for knives, guns, and good wine, just like he does. He also makes sure that if there's anything he can do for me/us (pants, shoes, appliances, bed sheets, etc) that it's done. I adore Daisy's parents and family -- I've never made a secret of that. I am very, very lucky to have all of them in my life, and incredibly grateful. I must've done something right in a past life, right?
So, getting back to the story at hand...
As I mentioned, I ordered a new engagement ring for Daisy as her Valentine's Day present, since her last one wore out and broke a few months after its resizing. I ordered it more than a week in advance so that it would have time to get here, but the shipping wasn't exactly fast on it. Well, it was fast enough, but I'll get to that in a bit. The main point here is that it hadn't arrived by Friday, so I had nothing of consequence to give her.
Yes, I know, some of you are thinking "there's always chocolates and flowers!" Yeah, well, good luck getting a box of Valentine's Day chocolates that are vegan, as every box I saw was milk chocolate. This is Kansas, where there are probably five vegans in the entire state. Be realistic. As for flowers? While Daisy loves flowers, she's made it a point to tell me that she doesn't really want them on typical "flower giving" holidays, as they don't really mean anything then, and would rather get them at random times for no reason at all -- something I strongly agree with as well. So, instead, I got her a jar of her favorite peanut butter-filled pretzel nuggets, and I searched the racks for a card that summed up our relationship perfectly. When I found one, I purchased it and was, well, basically done when it came to getting Valentine's Day stuff.
So, I gave those things to her, and had her read the card aloud. She cried. Like, sobbed, for a good minute or so. It was awesome. Inside the card, after the message, I wrote "I love you, my princess." Which, if you know me, is a huge fucking deal as I absolutely haaaaaaaate the term "princess." I despise it. I loathe it. I've ranted about the use of the word on several occasions. So, calling Daisy my princess was a big deal, a big step for me. And that's probably what made her cry more than anything else.
I didn't have the new ring, though, which for me put a damper on it, but she understood that it was still coming.
We went out in the afternoon and picked up some more groceries, but not a lot -- we made a trip to the Dollar Tree (as is customary for us to do when she's here) and stopped at Walmart again. Walmart was so busy that we could barely get through the aisles, but there was stuff I had to get for the house -- the cats needed food and litter, and we needed a few things to add to our dinner plans. We hadn't actually shopped at Walmart the day before -- we'd just tried to cash my check there and did our actual shopping at the Dillon's stores here in town. It's too expensive, however, to do all of my shopping at Dillon's, and they don't carry the cat food the kids eat. So, we got what we needed, and seeing the line for register 15 (the only one you can purchase cigarettes at) stretch back through the store, I gave up on getting those for the day and we checked out and went home.
Once at home, we made dinner -- Daisy made her famous spinach artichoke dip (which I also just ate a ton of a while ago, because I'm a fat bastard) and we watched a movie: Cloud Atlas. Eh. I liked it okay, but I also had a ton of problems with it and its execution. It's also almost three hours long, and Daisy fell asleep about 45 minutes in. After that, we went to bed. It was another night of up/down sleeping patterns for us. I couldn't sleep, so I got up, and then went back to bed later, with both of us getting up around the same time on Saturday morning.
On Saturday, the last day we'd have the chance to get it before Daisy needed to go home to work (and I needed to spend a good chunk of the weekend's remainder grading through my students' papers)...the ring arrived. Now that she has it, I can show it off here:
There. There it is. That's Daisy's new ring.
Her reaction (initially, anyhow) was good. She said she liked it. Then later she told me that she wasn't sure that she liked it (which was a bit of apprehension/backlash in comparing this ring to her original ring which broke) before, even later, admitting that it was growing on her and that it was, basically, something new she'd have to get used to, especially in comparison with the first ring -- which was smaller, had a more antiqued (not polished) finish, and had smaller stones overall.
"It's big and flashy," she said. "It's so bright."
"Honey, the point of an engagement ring is to get people to notice it."
"I liked the first ring so much because it was a lot like my mom's ring," she said. "Antiqued, simple, a thinner band, and it went well with the wedding band I picked out. The only wedding band that will go with this one is a plain band."
"First of all," I said, "nothing goes with the wedding band you picked out."
She showed me, several months ago, the wedding band that she wants. It's hideous. As in, terribly hideous. I can say this here because she knows I absolutely hate it. It's some weird, thin, goofy design that incorporates knots and leaves (or some shit like that) and has uneven, asymmetrical sides, and it has like three different colors of gold in it in little sections. I hate it. Haaaaaaate it. I think it's one of the ugliest ring designs I've ever seen. And nothing at all can be paired with it and have it look like a matched pair of rings, regardless of what she thinks. Not this ring, not her first ring, nothing except a ring specially designed to go with her wedding band...which, if they make it, it's probably thousands of dollars and just as ugly.
But, it's her ring, and it's her finger, and she's the one who wants to buy it and wear it day and night for the rest of our lives, so it's up to her what wedding band she wants. Far be it from me to tell her she can't pick out her own wedding band. I bought mine almost a year ago.
"I mean, the first ring was the proposal ring, it was special because of that...this one's just...different."
"Give me the ring," I said.
"What?"
"Give me the ring. Take it off."
She looked at me strangely and did so. I immediately dropped to one knee in the same spot in the kitchen I'd proposed last time, looked up at her with the ring in my fingers, and asked, "Will you marry me?"
She almost cried. She whimpered.
"Well?"
"Yes," she said.
"Good," I replied, putting the ring back on her finger and standing back up. "There. Now this one's a proposal ring too. Problem solved."
And we kissed, and that was basically the end of it. It's growing on her, as she said, and I expected at least a little backlash since it wasn't her original ring, but she's not said anything about it since. I'm guessing she's still getting used to it. Her parents and friends all like the ring, going as far as to say they think it's "beautiful" and "gorgeous," etc. When she told me this I just grinned at her smugly. And, while she has taken several photos of it, she's not yet posted them anywhere. So, yeah, I guess it's a transition period.
We went to the discount grocery store on Saturday afternoon and got a few things, but not a lot. She found some more of the salad dressings she likes, amongst some other small things, and I got some more cereal, some instant rice noodle bowls for quick meals, a few cans/jars of gravy (so that I can make poutine at home), etc. Nothing major. It was really to get out of the house and enjoy the beautiful weather -- it was in the 60s on Saturday. After that, we went back to Walmart again so that I could pick up the cigarettes I couldn't get the day before, and she wanted to pick out a movie for us to watch, since she wasn't interested in anything else in my collection (and I don't blame her; my movies are generally "not her thing"). The movie she ended up picking out was Men in Black 3, which neither of us had seen, but both of us had wanted to see when it came out. It was, actually, really good. They took a premise which could have, potentially, been very stupid, and made a good movie out of it in the vein and style of the first two. We made pasta and vegan garlic bread for dinner, and both of us went to bed at the same time that night (for once).
When Sunday morning came around, I got up first. She wanted to sleep in so that she would be well-rested to drive and go back home to work that night, so I let her. About 40 minutes after I woke up, she came upstairs and told me that she could no longer sleep, so she was going to gather her stuff, get ready, and just go -- in order to get home early and take a nap once she was there (if she had time). So, I helped her get everything together, did a double-check of the house to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything, and she went home. I spent the majority of the day afterwards doing lesson planning, grading my 210 students' papers, and cleaning/doing laundry. She arrived home safely and went back to work that night, and everything returned to the normal status quo our lives have become.
Since then, not a whole lot has happened or has been going on. Yesterday, I spent the day finishing up school stuff and taking care of anything I didn't do over the weekend before talking to Daisy when she got up before work, and going to bed myself around 8:30 or 9 (with the help of a sleeping pill). I got up this morning a little before 6, talked to Daisy briefly again, and then got dressed to go back to work today.
It's supposed to be near, or above, 70 degrees here this afternoon. It's already in the 40s. As today is Tuesday, however, it is (of course) my long day. I'll be on both campuses from about 8:45 AM to, probably, 8:45 or so tonight. Roughly, anyway. I don't have a whole lot to do in the way of lesson planning, and I have no grading whatsoever (since I finished that on Sunday), so for the majority of the day, I'll just be there. On the plus side, I've gotten used to having this one long day every week before two short days, and while it's not the best schedule in the world, it's far from the worst. My week is half over when I get home on Tuesday nights -- I've taught half of my classes for the week when I'm done, even though I have to go back and forth to/from West campus twice more on Wednesday night and Thursday morning, those days/times are quite easy in comparison.
There is one other major thing that I wanted to add before I close this post down and wander off to school -- I told Daisy this morning that once I get my bills and rent paid off for the month (read: once my check gets into the bank and I can take care of those things), that I was seriously considering just buying a 2DS and the new Pokemon game with the Discover card, because I've been so sick of not having it and I've been too poor to afford (or justify) buying it.
I'm not a gamer. I don't "game," I'm not into it, I don't care to be into it. I don't have the time to be into that sort of culture anyway. My one gaming vice is that I follow the Pokemon series and have always gotten the new game on its release day for the past, oh, ten years or more. Only the main series games, mind you, not the side games. When the new one came out last year, this wouldn't have been a problem if it weren't 2DS/3DS only, meaning to be able to play it, it would cost me about $200 total as I'd have to buy the new system. So I didn't get it because I was so poor, and for the past several months I've avoided all news/friends talking about it so that I didn't get bitter.
When I mentioned this to Daisy this morning, she said "Do you want me to get it for you?"
"...with what money that you're flush with and apparently rolling in?" I asked.
She had her tax return processed a few weeks ago, and she already has the money from it. Most of it's going to the wedding costs, yes, but she said she'd use some to get the 2DS and game for me if I wanted her to, just because sometimes it's nice to get something you've wanted for a long time -- and believe me, she knows I've wanted that for a long time and have been depressed that I've been unable to get it.
So, she ordered it for me. It arrives on Thursday -- more than likely right after I finish my classes for the week and come home for the weekend. She also got a case and some extra peripherals for it for me as well.
I...I really didn't know what to say. I still don't. After being so stressed and overwhelmed over the past several weeks when it comes to so many things in my life wearing me down or being just general pains-in-the-ass, I just...I wanted to break down into tears, really. Daisy is so good to me that it's overwhelming in itself. She doesn't have to do anything she does. I'd never ask her to do anything for me unless it was an emergency (hence when/why she wired me money when I needed it), and even then I feel extremely guilty. I feel it important to mention that while her job is decent enough, Daisy doesn't make much more money than I do, really. The difference is negligible when one factors in that she has car payments/insurance and a monthly cell phone bill as well, and I don't have those things. Tax refunds are one thing, and yes, we have a wedding to finish planning and paying for, but Daisy's generosity and her kind soul just...transcends that, I suppose? I don't know how to process someone being so wonderful to and for me. It's not like it's ever really happened before.
Anyway. I'm off to class now. More later, folks.
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