Dear Insomnia

Dear insomnia,

Five-to-six hours of sleep before my first orientation day of the semester just isn't enough. Seriously, just let me rest.

Love, Brandon.


As you may have guessed from the short letter above, I can't sleep. My attempts at turning around my sleeping schedule failed rather miserably -- at least for tonight, anyhow -- and around 2AM I realized that there was just no way I was getting back to sleep.

The new nightstand that arrived last night took a full hour to assemble, which is entirely too long for something that's 2.5 feet tall and 2 feet wide. Because of the godawful instructions and three different sizes of screws involved with putting the thing together, the first two screws I put into it (for the leg mounting brackets) went up through the top of the table itself, and I had to remove them and replace them with smaller screws. I will also note that there was no difference in the sizes of the screws in the pictorial-based instructions, and no parts were labeled. No parts were labeled. If I didn't have simple logic as my guide, I would have had no clue how to put the damned thing together. As it is, I already punctured the tabletop, which sucks because it's not a particleboard nightstand, but rather hardwood. Luckily the puncture holes are in the back, and will easily be covered if I get some sort of tablecloth (or, most likely, a hand towel) to cover the nightstand with. Still, I swear. "Some assembly required," my ass.

I forgot to mention yesterday that I did not actually make it to the post office to mail out the first barrage of thank-you packages. After spending nearly $200 on groceries, household items, and gas for the car -- and then spending nearly the same amount on the TV as well -- I was, metaphorically, of course, tapped out for the day. As I have to ready more of these packages anyhow, since my friends across the country have been near-endless with their generosity and support, I'm going to hold off on mailing the four I have now until at least Monday, by which point I should have at least one or two more ready to go. So, for those of you who I've told will be getting things soon, keep an eye on your mailboxes after that. Each package will cost anywhere between $2 and $10-ish to send, which is a small price to pay after people have spent so much time and money helping me get back on my metaphorical feet after the breakup and move.

After I come back home this afternoon from orientation: day one, most of my time will be spent continuing the process of getting the Casa del Brandon back in order -- which includes, since I got the handheld Dirt Devil yesterday, vacuuming the inside stairs. I'd do it now just to kill time before I need to shower and get ready in the morning, but even with this house's near-soundproof walls, I'm not running a vacuum at 3 in the morning, and especially not in the most enclosed area of the house (where the sound will echo and make my ears bleed anyhow). The downstairs, of course, is still a wreck, with trash, boxes, and sheets/blankets dotting the landscape of the bedroom...a bedroom that also needs a good vacuuming. Oh, damn my need for a new television instead.

In other news, in the care package my friend James back home sent me was also a package of cat treats for the kids. I knew they'd love this, but I have to be careful with treats for the cats; only the girls can have them, and not Petey. This is because when he was about a year old, Pete developed bladder problems and had a nasty UTI that made him pee blood. After a very expensive visit to the vet, we were informed that Pete needs to stay on special urinary tract cat food for the rest of his life in order to keep these problems from popping up again. Originally, this was the Science Diet Prescription Diet "c/d" food, but as there was no way we could afford $40-50 for a bag of cat food every two weeks, the former girlfriend did some research on the ingredients and found that the Purina ONE Urinary Tract Health Formula is, basically, the exact same thing with differently-shaped morsels, and the huge bag of it is about half the price. While the Walmart here doesn't carry the huge bag of it anymore, they do carry the next largest size, and I've been feeding all the cats this food since 2008 or so (because it is impossible to feed them separately, and it's not like it's not good for the girls as well).

Because of those special dietary requirements, however, Pete can't have anything but that food. No canned food, no tuna, no cat treats, nothing. So, anytime I want to give treats to the girls, I basically have to lock them in my room and be sneaky about it. This, of course, is what I had to do with the treats James sent me, and the girls loved them.

Except, of course, there was one problem.

It was a small bag of treats, and the girls ate through them in the span of about a day or two. This set a precedent that I wasn't expecting -- now, every time I'm in my room, they both run in and start crying, meowing, and generally bug the everliving hell out of me for treats, because they remember.

Oh, I so didn't sign up for this.

To appease them, I got a larger bag of the treats today while shopping, and gave them a handful of them on the floor of my room just so they'd shut up. I'll give them the treats once a week or so until they're gone, but after that I'm not getting any more. They're expensive, and Maggie's already getting fat because, when I refill their food bowl, she waits until the other two are done eating and then gorges herself -- usually yacking about half of it afterwards.

If cats could have eating disorders, hers would be bulimia. Not kidding.

Anyway.

Yesterday, I also got a very basic copy of the syllabus template for my engineering writing class I'm teaching this semester. My new supervisor (the Director's wife) is thrilled that I'm willing to teach it, and has apologized for the fact that my copy of the textbook for it hasn't arrived yet (and may not arrive until, say, Monday). Apparently, from what she's heard one other person may be teaching sections of the class as well, and that the funding for my "training" that fell through this summer was more than likely going to be funding for me to write and compile a new workbook for that class. This gives me the slight hope that it's possible that I'll be doing that next summer, between my second and third year, as I will probably teach this course for the rest of my tenure as a GTA -- unless by some very slim, sheer stroke of luck some of us are actually offered the opportunity to teach an undergraduate creative writing class (which, make no mistake, all of us would rather teach compared to composition courses, and what several of us -- but not me -- originally thought we'd be doing when we joined the program).

Looking over the syllabus, it appears to be a standard 102 syllabus with the main text changed to the one used for science writing. It does not offer a week-by-week plan of what to cover or how to do so, but it does contain a points breakdown and a more streamlined grading system (three shorter papers compared to four for 101, a required student/teacher conference, etc.) and some basic guidelines for the class. I can tell you now, though, that my finalized version of the syllabus is going to be a little longer and more detailed, and I'll be changing a few of the smaller rules (such as the late paper policy and the rewrite policy) for my classes. As it is on the syllabus, late papers are accepted, and letter grades are taken off for each day it's late. Yeah, I don't do that -- it's too bothersome and time-consuming to keep track of. Turn in your paper on time or it gets a zero, unless someone is dead and/or dying, and in those situations you'll have to discuss it with me. As it is now on the syllabus, rewrites are graded by averaging the original score with the rewrite score, which I've never done -- I take the higher score of the two and wipe the other from the record -- mainly because I don't want someone to get a lower score on their paper after they've taken the time to rewrite it. If a student gets an 80, rewrites it and gets a 60, they'd get a 70 as the averaged score, and it would be worse for their grade than if they hadn't rewritten it at all. I don't think that's fair; as a student myself, I know how valuable writing time is.

Maybe I'm too nice.

Regardless, I'm going to meet up with my new supervisor today after orientation to see what I can and can't change, and see if I can also get some sort of weekly "here's what you should be covering and when" lesson plan from her -- because I really, really need that sort of "map" when I haven't taught this class before. If I can get my version of the syllabus readied for printing tonight, I can print it and make a copy order tomorrow...and hopefully I won't have to drive down there at all on Monday (I don't teach or have class on Monday). Of course, I can't make a finalized syllabus until I get my finalized schedule, which would include what room(s)/building(s) I'll be teaching in.

Over the course of the past year, I've been asked several times "Aren't you nervous about teaching? Don't you get 'stage fright' or anything like that when you're in front of a class?"

My answer? Helllllll no. I am a natural showman, a frontman, a guy who loves command of an audience and the authority he has over said audience. So, no. I'm not nervous at all when it comes to teaching -- holding sway over a large group of people has been, and probably always will be, a thrill to me. Also, if you know and love me, you also know that I love talking. If I can talk to these kids, inspire them a little, and whip some knowledge their way, then I feel that I've accomplished something good, something substantial. As I plan to teach (adjunct and poor or otherwise) after I graduate with my MFA, it's all about keeping a positive attitude and trying to make a difference. Respect doesn't come easy these days, especially not with over-privileged eighteen-year-olds who don't remember a time before the internet, have owned a cell phone since they were in elementary school, and have never lived without cable television. It's the effort and commitment on the part of professors and GTAs that make a true difference, and I can sleep better at night knowing that while I may not be equally successful with all students, I at least got through to some (or most) of them.

Thank you; my name is Brandon, and I appreciate your vote for class president.

It also looks as if our heat wave has returned, at least for the next few days -- today it's supposed to be 101, and tomorrow it's supposed to be 104. As you know, my Monte Carlo is black-on-black (with red trim) with black leather interior. While this will be fine in the mornings for driving down there, I'm going to end up soaking my clothes with sweat on the afternoon/evening drives back home over the next two days. I'm glad I don't have any extra errands to run until the weekend, if then. And the car currently seems to be running fine; it didn't leak any coolant at all yesterday when I drove it.

So, in a little over two hours, my school year (unofficially) starts when I'll leave the house around 7. With the start of the school year also comes as-yet-untold expenses, problems, and work to do -- this weekend will be spent working on school prep stuff, paying the bills, and finishing the book; I hope to put it up for sale on or before Monday, barring any unforeseen circumstances.

For now, though, I must shower and trim the beard, as the morning is approaching fast.