Crazy Times

Fall semester: day eighty-four
One day remaining

It is 1:15 in the morning on what amounts to my final day of fall semester, and I am awake. In a short twenty-one hours, probably less, I will be completely finished with fall semester 2011, and it could not come soon enough. Because of this, it doesn't really matter what time I'll arrive on campus tomorrow (as long as I can get a parking spot somewhere, and I'm not going in early. My final exam in my Middle Eastern/Asian Lit class is at 7PM, and with my grading done already the only things I have to do on campus are make sure my laptop is charged (for the exam) and give Suri her Christmas present. I have my alarm clock set for 10AM, though I would imagine depending on what time I go to bed, I'll more than likely hit the snooze button once or twice, and that will allow me a few hours in the interim to get up, get something to eat, get dressed, and venture south to Wichita.

I doubt there will be many folks around the department anyhow; most of my friends and colleagues within the program do not have finals, or if they do they've already taken them and left town. Most graduate-level classes do not have a final exam; that is the big difference between undergrad and graduate school. Instead, they have final, or "seminar," papers due, sometimes 20-30 pages in length depending on the course. My Middle Eastern/Asian Lit course is an exception to the rule simply because of the professor's teaching style and the fact that the class is a "special topics" course, which all students in the program must take once (the subject of said "special topics" course changes every semester; this semester it just happened to be Middle Eastern/Asian lit, with one of my favorite professors).

I got the grade back from said professor on my Midnight's Children paper, by the way -- I received 22.5 out of 25 points, or a 90%. I was a bit surprised, as it's a rather low score for me from said professor, but then again I remembered that he tends to grade this class a little harder because it is that "special topics" course. The coursework is more rigorous, the grading's a little tougher. Regardless, going into the final exam I still have a 96% A in the class. The exam's worth 25 points, or 25% of our grade in the class, and as I should get the full score for class participation (10), I could get a 12/25 on the final exam and still get an A- in the class. Granted, this will never happen unless I have a sudden bout of narcolepsy in the middle of the exam, and I'm still going to do my best regardless, but it's comforting to know that if needed, I have a few points to spare in case I have a total brain fart in the exam room -- which, again, is unlikely.

I made a rough, three-page study guide for the exam this afternoon when I got up, drafting out how I'd like to answer the exam's essay questions. Once I get to campus, or before I leave the house tomorrow, I'm going to make all of the required notes in my books so that I have a plan of attack for the exam. We're allowed to use our books and any notes written in our books, but not our class notes or any other outside stuff (i.e., handouts, powerpoints from presentations, etc. are forbidden, as is the internet). I've always done really well on his exams; this will be the fourth one I've taken as a graduate student, and never have I gotten below a 93 or 94%. Last semester, I got a full 100 on the final, and this semester I got a 98% on the midterm, so my track record is good. When it comes to essay tests, even if I'm not given the opportunity to use books or notes written in books, I can usually do exceedingly well -- I tend to have the ability to access some sort of uncanny gift, like I can tap into the pure knowledge filed away in my brain to pull out the important stuff for such exams. I don't know how I do it, but I do.

In the past 24 hours or so, I have received several student emails inquiring about their grades on their last papers and their final exams. Since I have already uploaded those and grading is complete, of course, I can tell them. Every email so far, however, regardless of how good/bad the student did in the course, thanked me for an awesome semester and gave me nothing but the highest praise and their gratitude for the help and accessibility I provided them as a professor this fall. These kids stunned me; they're good kids, they were willing to learn and grateful for the opportunity to do so with me in the specialized Engineering/Science Writing English 102 course. Most of them could have aced the normal 102 course with flying colors, but they chose to take the different specialized course with me because it would offer them a different sort of challenge.

This is a clear disconnect from the normal run-of-the-mill 101 students I taught previously, students who were forced to take the course by the university. While yes, I did have some exemplary students in those classes and made several lifelong friends in several of them, there is a very distinct difference between 101 students and 102 Engineering English students, and really, I'm impressed in a big, big way.

As for the end of the semester itself, these are crazy times, in more ways than one. Looking back on it, it could've been better. As you know (especially if you read my last post), this semester I've been severely cash-strapped and broke, I've been doing patchwork repairs and maintenance on my car just to keep it running, and budgeting for absolutely everything. I've also been struggling to keep my head above water with two different labor-intensive lit courses -- in one of which it was very hard to keep an A, and the other was no slouch either. I've lost a lot of hours of sleep due to insomnia/loneliness as well as working on things that need to be done in and around the house or for my students, and I haven't been able to properly enjoy a single football game all season without multitasking on schoolwork at the same time.

Yet, despite all of this, after tonight I will be half-finished with my graduate school education, something that seems like a milestone to me (or at least seems more important than it should). I still have a roof over my head, a car that's running, food to eat, and three cats who love and adore me. I'll have a month off of school, and while it may be a relatively poor month, it is a month during which I can focus on myself and on my own projects/problems, such as my writing, cleaning the everliving fuck out of this house as much as possible, getting my car's oil changed and getting it worked on (if possible), and working on a new edit of my book for not only the Kindle edition, but for print as well.

As I type this, Sadie (my little gray cat, who's dumb as a brick) is laying on my feet and snoring. Literally snoring. This cat:

Yes, I know, she's beautiful; her mother was a full-blooded Russian Blue. She's my shadow and my little baby -- and boy, does she know it. I took this picture of her last night as she decided that it was time for me to hold her on my lap, and that she wasn't taking no for an answer.

Ahem. Anyway.

I am greatly looking forward to the spring semester; I have an awesome schedule, some fun and interesting classes that I am incredibly interested in taking (including an editing class), and I will have more than enough time to sleep, study, write, and take care of the important things in life. I will also have a lot more money to work with, and a lot more free time to actually pursue things like not being as much of a hermit around the department and my friends, as well as trying to land that lucky (or unlucky, depending on your viewpoint) girl I've been passively courting as of late. I'm also expecting to fly out to West Virginia to visit friends and family in the spring, as well.

Things are looking up; this next month off is exciting, and the spring semester looks exciting and promising. It's the next three weeks or so that I'll be broke beyond belief that concerns me right now. My bills, for the moment of course, are paid. It's the ones coming up that will quite literally break the bank if my parents don't drop my birthday/Christmas money into my account soon. Again, I'm looking at at least a $200 deficit, if not more, because of that damned car insurance being due in two weeks. I'd really rather not put it on my credit card if there's any way I can possibly avoid that; I'll need the credit card for tires for the car, as well as the oil change (more than likely) soon enough. My mother hasn't yet responded to last night's email about it, but that's probably because she's been really busy at work this week. I believe it's the last full week my parents will work before Christmas.

As for most of my friends, like I said, they've already left town -- and two of them are even on other continents right now. Suri and Jay remain, as well as a few others, because they're taking their final exam with me in class tomorrow night, but most folks have long since skedaddled their way off of campus and out of this city/state to return home for the holidays. I can't say I blame them; once I'm done with my exam, I will be gathering anything I might need over the course of the next month from my office, such as my laptop and a few other essentials, and I'll be revving the Monte Carlo back to Newton for my winter break as well.

Because of my financial situation and the time constraints involved, obviously, I'm not sure everyone will be getting their packages I need to mail by Christmas. While I will need to get stamps over the course of the next week or so, I'm not sure I can afford the postage to mail any of the things I have readied until I get money from my parents, and of course all of the rent/bills and car insurance must be paid first ASAP before anything else can be worried about or otherwise dealt with. I did have enough old stamps (meaning, stamps that were about seven or eight years old) to send out one package today, to my friend Shanna, from my mailbox. Other than that, I still have about five or six others that must be weighed and mailed at the post office; it can't be avoided. So, some (if not all) of you may be getting some late Christmas presents this year. For that I apologize.

As you probably already know, I'm too poor to send out Christmas cards this year as well, so if you want to save yourself a stamp and not send me one, I completely understand. Believe me, it's okay. No worries, no hard feelings, etc.

Anyway. I must go to bed now, as it is late and I am beginning to feel it. When I next return to the blog, the semester will be over and I will be free.