Affirmations

The past two days have been very long, but very nice. Here's what's been going on.

Daisy got into town on Tuesday evening -- relatively early, at that. Like, before dark. I was impressed. It was only after she'd been here for an hour or two when I learned that she hadn't slept. At all.

"You mean to tell me that you got up last night, went to work, worked all night, came home, did stuff around the house, went shopping, hung out with mama, and then got in the car and drove down here without sleeping a wink?"

"Yes," she said.

"Honey, that's dangerous," I told her. "I thought you said you were going to nap for a while?"

"Well, I was, but..."

Oy. I made her some food because she hadn't eaten, either, and then made sure she went to bed. By the time she went to sleep, she'd been awake for something like 28 or 29 hours straight -- she was fighting off being tired and needing sleep because she wanted to spend time with me, and wanted to be awake as long as she could because she'd just gotten here. I did, of course, make sure we spent time together, ate together, talked about her job, etc. But I also made sure she went to sleep and stayed asleep, because she needed it. Badly.

I, on the other hand, stayed up until 3AM finishing up watching the rest of the first season of Orange is the New Black. This was probably a bad idea, as we'd planned to go to campus in the morning so I could pick up my diploma and meet up with the folks in the department.

When I finally awoke, it was after 10AM. Daisy was just waking up as well, at least waking up fully, anyhow, and I got dressed and ready to leave the house when I heard a really strange noise fairly close to the house -- like a droning, a buzzing of an engine. I looked out the window to see city street crews had drawn chalk lines on my street and were using leaf blowers to clean out the sealant cracks on the street. This meant that they were going to do the "slurry seal" operation.

What is slurry seal, you might ask? Well, I thought it was the black tar-like sealant they you see applied to cracks and edges of roads and streets to keep the road in one piece -- like, patch-job stuff. I'd seen them doing this around town, putting down the tar on corners and on segments of roadways, and knew they were supposed to do it to my street eventually as well. Okay, I thought. This isn't a big deal. It'll take a few extra hours before it dries, and then we can go to campus.

It was then I noticed that the street had been entirely closed off. As in, shut down, nobody allowed on it or off it. There were barriers set up at each end of the street (including one completely blocking off my neighbor's driveway, which I'm sure he wasn't exactly happy about). I got on the city of Newton's website to see what their schedule entailed and how they'd go about doing the sealant operation (read: how long I'd be stuck in the house).

It wasn't good news.

Apparently when they do this, they shut down entire streets from 7:30 AM to 5PM. And when I say "shut down," I mean shut down. Like I mentioned before, they block everything off, they close down the street -- nobody gets in or out. As the street was blocked, I wasn't going anywhere. I sent the department people at school an email telling them that I wouldn't be able to make it down, but I'd make it down there today, and went downstairs to tell Daisy -- who had laid back down for a bit after breakfast and a shower.

"You may as well relax, love," I said. "We're not going anywhere today. Street's going to be closed off until 5PM while they do this stuff. Nobody gets in or out. That's why the barriers are up."

And that's what we did. We relaxed.

Somewhat.

Let me tell you, it's somewhat maddening to have somewhere you need to go and/or be at a certain time and cannot actually fulfill that obligation, physically or otherwise. Add to this that of all of the days I've been here this summer, of all of the days I have never ventured outside the door of my home, they chose the one and only day where I had something important to do.

Chalk that up to bad luck, I suppose.

I also found it supremely interesting that they're supposed to place a notice on your door 48 hours prior to the time when they're going to close off your street. I never got any sort of notice. I go in and out my doors several times a day -- I'd been out there just the afternoon before to get the mail and to take out the cats' dirty litter, and had nothing there. This will come into play later, I assure you, so stay tuned.

So, really, we were stuck at home. While I was downstairs with Daisy, we heard loud machinery and grating noises, and I looked out the window to see a crew of about ten guys with a very large steamroller-like machine. They weren't simply putting down a bit of that sticky black tar on the road where new seals were needed, oh no -- they were completely re-paving my street. 

"Holy hell," I said to Daisy. "They're re-paving the entire street. I have no idea why."

My street is in relatively good shape. There aren't any potholes, there aren't any cracks or broken parts, etc. It's not been paved since I've been living here (probably not since long before, actually) but, really, there's nothing wrong with it. And they re-paved it. All of it. They also re-paved several other streets around my neighborhood as well.

Mind you, these are residential streets. Far-off-the-path residential streets as well, not heavily-traveled main thoroughfares. Some of those, obviously, do need paving. But okay, whatever, so they want to pave my street. I don't own my house, I rent it. The landlord, who also owns all of the other houses on this street except for two, pays all of those taxes, and as he was the city commissioner for a long time, including when I began living here, well, it's not like I have anything to worry about in that department. So, really, it's not like my city/county/property tax dollars are paying for the streets to be paved. I just found it interesting more than anything else.

Daisy and I played cards, cooked lunch, watched TV, and generally killed time. I felt like I was trapped. Not with her, mind you, but trapped in the house in general. Finally, I wanted to be able to get out and sort of celebrate the fact that I would soon be employed again, would soon be able to worry about money a little less and have a reason to get up in the morning, but, of course, I was stuck there. And so was Daisy -- as long as they were paving the street.

"Want to go see The Wolverine?" I asked Daisy in passing.

"Sure," she said. "But I thought you didn't really want to see it, since you said there were bad reviews and all?"

"Eh." I said. "I do want to see a movie, and it's a comic book movie, and it may be at least mildly interesting if it sticks to the comics it's supposedly based on."

I really had been sort of lukewarm on seeing The Wolverine. I've always been a much bigger Marvel nerd than DC nerd, and I do like Wolverine, but eh. The first Wolverine movie was good for 40 minutes, and then after that it became utter dogshit, but Marvel has put out some good films recently. If nothing else, it would get us out of the house and we could have a date night after being stuck there all day.

So, plans were made. We couldn't make the early showing (4-something) because of the street, but the 7:15 showing was fine. Neither of us had any plans, and since I'd been in a sour mood and really depressed for the past few weeks, I needed something to take my mind off of things and immerse me in a world that wasn't my own. When Daisy and I see movies together, it's not as much about the movie most of the time as it is us going out and doing something together, something fun, something as a couple. Okay, well, for Man of Steel, it was totally about the movie.

Anyway.

Around 4PM I saw cars coming in and out, and the kids were riding their bikes around the street again. This was interesting, I thought, as my end of the street was still barricaded and closed. When I saw people coming and going, though, I knew the street had re-opened, at least to in-and-out traffic. So we got ready and were out of the house by around 6. Our plan was to go to the Dollar Tree first, since I'd been needing to go for a while, and because Daisy always likes to go with me when she's here. Part of that is because she can find a lot of awesome stuff there when she comes with me, because Daisy is all about kitschy cool things, to the point of borderline tacky (example: she seriously considered purchasing a headband with a neon highlighter green flower in it, and planned to wear it in all seriousness, not irony). This always gives me an amusing trip instead of a quick in-and-out, get-what-I-need-and-go Dollar Tree excursion, and thus I love going there with her.

By the time we got out of Dollar Tree (where our cart was filled, and I ended up spending $53 on stuff I needed/wanted for around the house) it was too late to take it home and put it away, so we stuffed it in the trunk and went to the movie.

The Wolverine was fine; it's by no means a perfect film or even a great film, but it's definitely entertaining, thoroughly watchable, and a serviceable film for Wolverine. It's (at times loosely) based on the Miller/Claremont mini-series of the early 80s, and has a lot of nods to the source material there while updating it and changing around a bit of the plot and pacing -- and, as it is, it's a pretty good stand-alone Wolverine picture that ties into the other films as well, if (again) loosely. Worth the money to see it, at least, but don't bother with the 3D treatment, as there are only about three scenes that would be at all interesting to see in 3D. After reading some of the reviews, I thought it would be godawful, and I was pleasantly surprised. It's held up pretty decently on Rotten Tomatoes, as well.

Oh, and stay for the post-credits scene if you see it -- without being spoiler-y, it's a direct lead-in to Days of Future Past.


So. We saw the movie, stopped at Walmart to get some stuff I needed, since we would've done that earlier had the street been open, and came home. By the time we got back home, settled in and had all the groceries put away, it was almost midnight. Daisy went to bed, and I joined her about two hours later (after a shower).


I probably should have gone to bed when she did; I was so tired and by the time I actually went downstairs, I was beginning to get a little dizzy/loopy. I've not been staying up late as of late; I've been in bed between 9 and 11PM most of the time, and have been getting up between 7 and 9AM or so. I can't remember the last time I was up as late as I have been the past few nights. Add to this the effects of my allergies and the fact that I've not been sleeping well and I feel like I'm wandering through a constant thin fog for most of my waking hours if I don't have something to do in order to focus myself.

When we returned home, by the way, I found a door-hanger notice of the street re-pavement operation on my downstairs door. It must have been put there that morning, mere hours (or even minutes) before the work started -- since it had not been there the night before when Daisy came down.

This morning, since we'd been delayed by a day because of the street, we had to go to campus. I awoke in a daze around 10AM and went upstairs; I let Daisy sleep. I saw that she'd been upstairs herself at some point and had come back down; she'd eaten breakfast and had moved some stuff around in the kitchen/bathroom, so I figured I should let her rest if she was tired enough to go back to bed. I didn't wake her until around 11:20, after I'd already gotten dressed for the day and was basically ready to leave the house. Daisy, for as much of a girly-girl as she is, is also really fast to get dressed and made up to go out. She can go from bed to fabulous in about 20 minutes, roughly, if she's in a hurry. I know because I've seen this transition many times over the course of our relationship. Once she got up and got ready, we were out the door by noon and on the road to Wichita.

The drive down there was strange; I haven't driven to campus since graduation day. Now, with all of the new construction both on the interstate AND on campus, everything feels...well, alien to a certain extent. I told Daisy that I felt like an ex-pat returning to his home country after a long absence. As I mentioned here before, my normal parking lot has been destroyed, as a new dorm is being built there now. They've also closed off the main entrance I usually go through, and they've razed one of the soccer fields and paved it to put in new parking spaces. This makes it a massive pain in the ass to get on and off of campus now, and even today -- the last day of summer sessions -- the lot wasn't full, but it was over half full. I can't imagine what proverbial shit will hit the fan when the fall semester actually starts in a few weeks and everyone has to fight for parking spaces everywhere. It's going to be a nightmare, and remember -- I drive a land boat.

Still, campus was (mostly) deserted; there were only four people in the entire department, and I gave my greetings and salutations to all of them, obviously.

Here's what's going on with my teaching and the fall -- at least what I know now, anyway:

1. I have one class right now -- Tuesday/Thursday, 9:15AM, West campus, room unknown at present. This is not yet officially scheduled in Banner, but it's mine. The office administrator is working to get me up to three more, if possible, and I told her I would gladly take whatever I could teach. She took my old office key, gave me the new books I needed (the updated versions of the 101 books, of which I don't have copies), and told me optimistically that she'd be in touch over the next few days with what popped up.

2. No word on the continuation of the Engineering English program when I talked to the chair, but it didn't come up in conversation, either. I'm guessing that as I'm not scheduled to teach any of those classes, it's officially on hold indefinitely right now, but I don't know for sure.

3. If I do get other classes to teach (which seems likely, given my reputation in the department, ability to teach, and willingness to help), they won't conflict with the class I teach on West campus and I'll have enough time after that class to get across town to the main campus beforehand.

4. I may receive (enthusiastically receive, mind you) one or more night classes to helm. Night classes are easy to teach and are fun, and generally have much lower enrollment (which means less work to grade).

5. Right now I don't have an office anymore -- I turned in my key today, as I said -- but there is apparently office space on West campus if I need it, and I also don't necessarily have to keep strictly-regimented office hours since I'm no longer a GTA, but actual faculty. This basically means that, if I wanted to, I could say "office hours are via email. use it." or something to that effect. That may not gain me a whole lot of popularity with the students, but I can't exactly hold office hours if I don't have an office. My old office is now property of the new GTAs they'll stick in there.


These are all the updates I have. I thanked them profusely, as I wanted them to know how grateful I am to even be able to teach one class this fall, even if I don't get any others. You folks here know how stressed and depressed I've been over the past few weeks, of course. Getting some affirmation that I am useful and helpful in some regard when it comes to my talents does ease those feelings a bit. In turn, they thanked me as well -- they didn't have anyone who could teach the West campus class and were really glad I could take it. Again, I love the West campus -- it's shiny and new with a massive parking lot, is a complex that is all one floor, and is out in the middle of nowhere, so the drives there will be peaceful. I do, however, eagerly await further communications to see what else I can get. Teaching one class will cover my rent (with maybe a little extra) for the four months of the semester, but every other expense will still come out of my savings. Obviously, if I get even one more class, I double my pay for those sixteen weeks and life will become a little easier. Two more, triple the pay, and so on. Adjuncts are paid by the class. I told the chair that I could helm as many as necessary, because it's not like I have my own papers to write or stacks of books to study for comps now -- it's just me, teachin' and makin' money.  Not a lot of money, but more than I have now, which is the main thing.

On our way off campus, Daisy and I stopped to get my diploma from the registrar's office. It's pretty, actually. My WVU diploma is massive, and still resides in the envelope in which it came, tucked away in a safe place in the top of my closet. This one is smaller and is in a leather binder under a sheet of protective plastic, and it's formal and elegant. It's also still sitting in my bag across the room from me, as I have no idea what to do with the piece of paper I call my "debt certificate." But, I suppose (if that whole, expensive-gown-wearing graduation ceremony wasn't any indication) that with the diploma in my hands and an adjunct professorship lined up for me, well, I guess I really do have a Master's degree now.

Daisy left this evening to go back to Omaha -- she was debating on staying until the morning, but if she had done so, she would've had to get up really early to be able to get everything packed up, put in the car, and to make the drive to Omaha before needing to immediately crash and sleep the rest of the day away before her work tomorrow night, something that probably wouldn't be the best idea in the world since she's spent the past two days running around with me, even if I do try to force her to get sleep when she desperately needs to.

All in all, I'm in a much better place than I was a few days ago. Getting offered that class -- even if, for the moment, it's just one class -- eased a lot of my fears. Spending the past two days with Daisy and being able to relax with her, go to movies and go shopping with her (enabling me to get almost all of my important groceries and other needed goods in the process) helped quite a bit as well. Not having anything pressing, soul-sucking, or must-be-done-now-important things to do this weekend helps even more -- it'll allow me to try to relax a bit and rest, to sleep without fear or depression upon waking up, and on a practical level I can clean the house and do laundry. I'm more centered, so to speak. I still have problems, of course, and some of those problems are fairly large, looming ones, but for now, I have a bit of much-needed perspective.

There is one other thing, however, though it's small. I got an email today from my editor at the paper. My story ran last week on schedule, but it apparently never got put on the website (which is why I could never find it). I have to drop by the offices tomorrow morning to fill out the payroll forms in order to get paid for it, which will put me back into the system and will allow me to get semi-regular checks from them when and if my stories run. I can do this easily, and as an adjunct I don't have to worry about running afoul of the administration on any sort of GTA work contract I might violate by having a second job -- this means that as long as I have time to do so, I can continue to write for the paper with no issue. The problem is having that time. Some stories take a while to develop (one of my contacts for my second story I have, I haven't heard any more correspondence from for over a week, and I need to check back in with him, for example). If I'm teaching three or four classes, I totally won't have time to write for the paper anymore. If I'm teaching two? With no other student work of my own to deal with? I could feasibly continue with them with no problems. This is something I'll have to tell my editor tomorrow when I go over there, regardless of when that may be -- it depends heavily on when I wake up and roll out of bed, though I would like it to be early.