Patient Zero

It's 5:19 AM. I went to bed around 7PM, fell asleep for good around 9:30, then got up and have been awake since around 2AM.

My sleep schedule is wrecked. I haven't been getting satisfying rest. At least not truly satisfying rest. I'll sleep for a few hours at most before I am awakened by something (or by my own body/mind for some reason) and then I'm up. Just, well, up.

Last night, before bed, my ear started bothering me again. Congestion and popping a lot, pain, etc. Sinus-related, I'm sure. Allergy-related, I'm even more sure. It went away when I went to sleep, but when I woke up I had (and still have) a rather nasty headache. The weather is changing again, I suppose -- we're under a "wind advisory" for the majority of the day, and wind gusts are supposed to be 35-50mph. Apparently, anyway. I mean, I doubt I'll be awake for a lot of it. I don't plan to be, anyway.

I'd like to be able to explain away my sleep issues and allergies and the like to stress, as I am usually able to do during the semester and when I'm having a lot of financial woes, but right now I really can't -- because of Daisy's help, my bills are taken care of (or will be) for the rest of the month. I don't have any true responsibilities for another week, as I won't start teaching again until the 21st. Daisy is coming down tomorrow. I don't really have any stresses right now. Life is, for most intents and purposes, pretty good for the time being. I don't know if I'll be saying that in another six or eight weeks, as the semester's work will be in full swing by then and I'll be consumed by it, but right now I can't explain things away by using the blanket term "stress" because I'm really at the least stressed I've been since before Christmas. Hell, since Finals Week, really.

Am I getting sick? Doubtful. I finished my run of Bactrim for my sinus infection several days ago, and physically I've been feeling much, much better since I started them two weeks ago. I've also only left the house twice in the past two weeks, both times for groceries. It's not like I've run into anyone who could be carrying diseases. I haven't even seen another person face to face in well over a week. And it's not like the cats go cruising about the town, bringing home plagues or other illnesses. They mostly just sleep on my lap or on the bed with me, eat, meow, and be sweet.

I read a news story about an hour ago that said the hospitals in Wichita are currently at or nearing capacity because of the flu. Capacity. Meaning, they're full. Doctors are urging that instead of people coming to the hospital, they go to their primary care physicians for treatment regardless of illness (unless it's an emergency, of course) because there's no room for them.

Yeah, apparently the flu is bad this year.

I've had the flu maybe three or four times my entire life. I'm 31. And I mean real flu, not "a bad cold" or "stomach flu" or anything like that. Those are different. No, I mean aches-and-pains, can't-get-out-of-bed, high-fever flu. I got it at the end of my first semester of grad school, and it led to a sinus and ear infection afterwards (as most of my illnesses do). Yet, in all of my years, I've never gotten a flu shot. Not even as a GTA or professor. Not even when I teach classrooms full of patient zeroes and vectors for disease several times a week. My immune system, generally, is pretty good. Yes, I get sick sometimes. The sinus infections I get are sometimes brutal. I'll occasionally get a chest infection or what feels like bronchitis, which I'm sure isn't helped by my smoking. I'll occasionally get a really bad cold or stomach virus that will knock me flat for a few days. Everyone gets sick. I usually only get really sick once a year or less. There's a reason I had a perfect attendance record for my entire high school career, after all. No, that's not a joke.

Daisy, as you may have gathered from previous posts here over the past eighteen months or so, is almost the exact opposite. If she's around anyone who's sick or has been sick in the past several weeks, she gets it. Quickly. Being around her (our) nieces and nephews so often, she's exposed to more sicknesses than most. She gets sick at least once a month for a few days, whether it's a cold or her sinuses or stomach issues or what-have-you. I always worry that she's going to give me something, or that the family (kids included) is going to give me something when I visit, but so far I've been immune to their illnesses -- remember that everyone in the house had been sick within a week's time when I was there for Christmas, and I was around and spending time with all of them, yet I was fine and remained fine once I returned home, with nothing bothering me but the sinus infection I'd then had for over a month. Daisy, of course, got sick for a few days after I came back home. Why am I detailing all of this? Because knowing me, I'll be the guy who is the carrier of viruses in our household, but won't get sick from them -- instead, me going to teach 75 students a week and bringing home their germs will make Daisy sick.

Or, y'know, it's possible that I've just been lucky thus far, and now that I've said this, I'll get a crippling superflu in the next few weeks. Again, tempting the fates rarely goes well for Brandon.

So, I'm awake, and now it's 6AM. I think forward to this time next week, when I'll be getting up right about now for my first day of classes for the semester. We're in the single digits now of vacation days I have left of winter break. 2.5 of those remaining days will be spent with Daisy, and the rest will be spent prepping for classes and trying to turn my sleep schedule back around. I've been trying mentally to prepare myself for the semester, to ready myself to re-enter the world of academia and all that entails, including showering on a daily basis and dressing nicely, keeping myself groomed, re-adjusting to a schedule of things to do and days/times to do it, etc. The first week or three back is always difficult, but it's difficult on a physical and psychological level as I need to get used to my rhythms again. I have trouble sleeping enough as it is, but when that sleep deprivation is bookended by responsibilities, things to do, and places to be, I either adjust rapidly or I crumble until I can adjust. The one thing I miss the most during any given semester is time -- it moves rapidly, moves even more rapidly in the spring, and seems to fly by when I have more decompression time between classes (as I will this semester). That's good on some levels and terrifying on others -- time flying by is a bad thing when some of that time must be used to help prep for the wedding, the travel, and the monetary issues involved with it and its aftermath. It's good when I don't have time to hand-wring about finances and other issues because I'm preoccupied with work and paychecks are coming in which rectify those issues.

The wind outside is picking up a bit now; I can hear it whipping through the trees. My plans for the rest of the day are to bring the garbage cans back up and to get the mail from yesterday (since I went to bed early last night and forgot to do either of those tasks), to get a shower, and to go back to bed for a few hours. I've already taken sinus/pain pills for my allergies and headache -- I did so hours ago -- and if they don't really work and I feel like I can't rest, I'll drink NyQuil to clear out my allergies and pass out for a good chunk of time, as I seem to need it.

As for the stuff with my classes, I still don't have access to my other rosters in Banner or in Blackboard, though I would imagine that will, again, soon be rectified if for no other reason than payroll issues. My 102 class currently has eight students in it, four of whom were my 101 students last semester. I don't know how many my 210 or 011 classes have. 011 is capped at 20, and 210 is capped at 25. If all three classes fill up, the most students I'll have this semester is 70 -- which, of course, will never happen. Aside from the fact that 70 students would be a lot for me personally to handle, the 102 class on West campus will probably not get much larger than it is now, if at all. And the 011 class is a night class, which means it'll either be empty or it'll be completely full -- there's not really going to be a middle ground there. The 210 classes are almost always full. Regardless, I'll find out my "magic number" of total students within the next few days, and I'll be able to better plan lessons and the like around those totals.

Okay. Off to the shower and bed now. More updates soon.