I'm very tired and somewhat frazzled. I say somewhat because it's strange to get used to what is, in essence, my new schedule. I've been coming home on Tuesday nights and going to bed, getting up on Wednesdays and going to teach my night class for so long that not having to do that anymore throws me off big-time. Getting up this morning, I was still in the mindset of oh, I have to do this and this and this before I leave tonight, forgetting that I don't have to go anywhere tonight because my 210 class is now done and over. I almost have to continually remind myself of that because it feels so weird to have my normal routine changing.
I'm also frazzled because of stress, of course. Yesterday was a long, long day filled with little tasks and things to do, and it felt like I was going through the motions for a lot of it, without thinking about what I was doing. On autopilot, acting as artificial intelligence, what-have-you. I barely remember most of my day; several hours in the afternoon was spent grading through all of my students' papers and readying myself for their final exam tomorrow morning, and while I did get to hang with a few friends and colleagues for a bit, it's all a big haze now. I taught my night 011 class, conferenced with my students in there and told them what their practice exam/final exam would be like, and drove home. It misted rain on me the entire way home, and the wind was still freezing and blowing hard. I stopped at Walmart, and scatterbrained as I was, I was able to get a lot of the stuff I needed for around the house, before I came home, put it away, ate, talked to Daisy on Skype for a while (though again, about what I totally don't remember) and went to sleep. I slept until almost 11AM.
Despite the blur of everything else, some good things did happen yesterday. As I mentioned in my last post, I took a big box of all of my comps studying books/poetry collections I read for those exams a year ago now down to campus because one of my friends wanted them. He offered to pay me basically whatever I wanted, but I told him it really wasn't that necessary -- again, getting rid of things I have no more room or use for is the higher priority here, as I don't want to move anything I don't have to.
Anyway, he looked at the box and asked "so how much do you want for them?"
I knew I wasn't going to be able to just give them to him without him feeling immensely guilty that he was ripping me off, even though honestly I didn't care one way or the other. Yeah, I probably spent about $150 to $200 on all of those books over the course of six months or so, getting them a few at a time, but that was so long ago (and they've now been boxed up for over a year) that it was entirely off my radar. That was also back when I had money and could afford such things, so it didn't really bother me at the time.
"Eh, $25? $30?" I mused.
"I'll give you $40 for them," he said.
"Okay," I replied, "if you want."
And he did.
Later in the day he gave me another $20, making it $60 total, as he said that he still felt like he'd shortchanged me, and wanted me to take the extra $20 as a "wedding gift" so to speak, if for nothing else. He can't come to the wedding as his cousin is getting married in Georgia on the same day. I accepted it, though I still felt a little guilty about it. Again, for me, it was more about getting rid of a box of books more than anything else. One less box to pack on the truck and move, one less box to lift and find a place for the contents inside once it got to our new home.
I didn't see my other friends who have (hopefully by now) received the table, chairs, and file cabinet that was picked up here by the brother of one of them on Monday night. I don't know if they'll give me anything for that stuff or not (they said they wanted to), but again, it's much more important to me that it's now gone than any sort of money I could receive for it. I would imagine one or both of them will give me something, but again, it's so far off my radar that I don't really care one way or the other. I have but three days left on main campus at the maximum -- next Tuesday for my 011s' final night of class, and two days the week after: one for giving the final exam and the other for grading the final exams with my partner(s). I already know my grading partners -- one of them is in my wedding -- so it's fine. The other, of course, is coming to the wedding and I'm close with her as well, so it's not like I've been paired with anyone I don't like or don't know.
I asked the department administrator yesterday if there's anything special I have to do when my employment with the university ends at the end of the semester -- as in, if there are any forms I have to fill out, if I have to do any "exit interview" stuff, or if I have to do anything else other than turn in my office keys and clean my stuff out of the office.
"Nope," she said, "since your contract expires after the semester is over, it's all done but that stuff."
"Good," I replied. "I didn't know if there was some sort of process I'd have to go through other than that, and I was hoping not since as soon as my grades are entered and finalized, I'm pretty much driving to Omaha and we're getting the truck/doing the move immediately thereafter."
"Well..." she said, thinking for a moment, "there is one thing. Are your grades entirely online?"
"I have them all on Blackboard, yes," I said.
"No, I mean is that the only place they are, or do you keep a paper grade book as well?"
"Oh, yes. I've always kept a paper grade book just in case to check and cross-reference students' grades against it to make sure everything matches up."
I'm old-school like that. For the longest time I never posted grades on Blackboard because it was a pain in the ass and an extra task to do, plus the older versions of Blackboard did not like Linux at all. And as you probably know, that's all I use on my computers.
"Then you could give us that too," she said, "just in case anyone tries to dispute a grade. Has that ever happened to you?"
"Not successfully," I replied, with a smirk. "I have occasionally made an error that I've had to correct myself once a student brought it to my attention, but nobody's ever fought me on a final letter grade they've received in a course. They've whined about it, yes, but never actually fought with me about it or challenged the grade itself."
This is true. I do make mistakes on occasion -- I am but human. And when I have, I have always fixed said mistakes promptly as soon as they've been brought to my attention, and by any means necessary. This semester, since I have three sections of three different classes and 90% of my students know right now whether they're going to pass or fail my classes (with one of those classes already completely finished and grades posted, with none of them failing), I don't foresee any issues. Even with my 102s, nobody is failing the class or is even in danger of it before the final. The ones who were previously in danger are even now well above the pass/fail line -- literally all of them who take their final tomorrow morning will basically be "adding extra points" with it to their already-passing score/grade. Again, that class is good. For the 011s, I calculated some scores last night, and there are a few of them on the borderline for passing as of right now -- the ones who have already failed, obviously, have done so for absences, not missed work.
"Yeah, that's fine," I said. "I'll leave you folks the full grade book just in case."
It didn't occur to me until later that evening that I will have to leave the forwarding address with them as well, in order for the university to send me my W-2 tax forms in January. But really, knowing that I can basically be done and cut ties completely after I clean out the office and return the keys? Yeah, that's special. That's good. One less loose end to tie up, so to speak.
The front desk administrator at West campus is taking an old crock pot off my hands prior to the yard sale (I'm bringing it in tomorrow) and she and her husband will more than likely buy the lawnmower from me as well. Still no takers yet on some of the other stuff I've put in the Craigslist ad for the sale, though I did have some guy email me to ask if I had any jewelry, hunting or fishing stuff, musical instruments, or camera gear. No, no I don't, sadly.
I should've told him I had a lot of that stuff so if/when he came by I could've said "well, all of that stuff went quickly, but lookie here at what I have and buy something!" etc. I'm not that much of a dick, though.
I did consider listing a bunch of stuff on that ad that I didn't have, though, just to make more people come by period. I doubt I'll have a lot of people on Friday, but Saturday I'll probably have a fair amount of neighborhood-wanderers. I put up a query about it on the "What's Happening in Newton" Facebook group, and apparently a lot of people are simply advertising on Craigslist instead of going through the newspaper (which, of course, charges you for ads when Craigslist doesn't). That's good. Very good. It means if people are reading my ad on there, I might see a lot more "business" than I would otherwise just by putting up a sign at the end of the street.
Tomorrow and early Friday morning I'm going to be very busy with that stuff, obviously, and again Saturday (when I'll probably have a bigger turnout). I should be working on it today, but I am...well...I really don't want to. I'm so tired and so burned out by everything going on that I just want a bit of a break. I'm also very cold today -- it's only in the low 50s outside, and was around 40 when I woke up this morning. I had to (very begrudgingly) run the furnace again for about an hour when I got up because I couldn't stop shivering and being cold. I'm still really cold. This house traps heat very well when it's hot outside, and traps cold very well when it's cold outside -- but it'll never trap either when it actually needs to.
I guess it doesn't really matter, as this is the forecast for the next week:
Yeah. Welcome to Kansas, folks.
I'm still freezing now, of course, because my body doesn't exactly acclimate well to a nearly forty-degree temperature drop in three or four days -- especially not when almost all of my warm winter-ish clothing has already been boxed away and/or otherwise packed up for the move. I am currently wearing the only hoodie and only pair of pajama pants I left out and unboxed because I really don't have any choice not to at this point if I don't want to shiver all day no matter what the temperature is outside.
Tomorrow is May 1, as you're probably aware. This afternoon I erased my dry-erase calendar and filled in all of the days and events for May, for which there are many. Doing that made me feel overwhelmed yet again. I have so many things to do and I just don't know if I have the time or energy to do all of them. On the plus side, the semester is ending very quickly and wrapping up nicely, so soon enough I will no longer have to worry about that and can focus solely on the move and on everything to do for that move. Move this, move that, sell this, pack that, move that box, pack this one, throw this away, sell that, donate that, etc. It's so exhausting. I absolutely hate moving. As you know. As you probably also know, I hate doing things on a timeframe other than my own, as well -- as it makes me feel forced to do things and makes me feel like I'm being backed into a corner. We pick up the moving truck in eighteen days. Daisy moves into our new place in five days, and the furniture is delivered then as well. I finish teaching for the semester in six days, and will give my last final exam to my students in thirteen.
AHHHHHHHH
Ahem.
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