I couldn't tell you how many...ahem... empty spider egg sacs I ran across, though. Luckily, none of them looked new. In fact, I'm quite sure many of them have been there for the five years or so everything's been down there in the garage. The cold winter has been wonderful for cleaning -- I've only seen one, single living spider throughout all of my cleaning down there, and it was a harmless orb weaver. Are there webs and cobwebs everywhere? Yes. Were there many years-old molts of brown recluse down there? Oh yes. But as for living spiders? Nope. Nothin'. That's a blessing, at least.
Once I get the majority of everything out of the garage, the garage swept clean and everything in its place and figured out, I'll use it as my new, ahem, holding area for everything I've packed thus far. Packed boxes are stacking up in both my Man Cave and in the spare room -- the spare room being literally half full of them, leaving little room for actual, y'know, movement in and out of there.
After cleaning out what I could of the garage yesterday, my back was positively killing me by the evening, to the point where I was so stiff I could barely move. It was not a pleasant experience. I took some aspirin and tried to relax, and eventually the screaming pain died down and went away. After it did, I packed two more huge boxes full of things -- mostly clothing and the like -- and this morning, I packed two more (despite my back pain still lingering somewhat).
I want to say that approximately 1/4 of the house has been packed up at this point. I'm not sure how accurate that is, actually, but it has to be something along those lines. Most of my important possessions and other things are already boxed. Most of the kitchen dishes (except what I'll use) is boxed. Most of my clothing is boxed. Most of the yard sale stuff is sorted and ready. Given the fact that I have close to a month to pack everything else, and given that the "everything else" (at least packing-wise) could be done in the span of about two days of pretty nonstop work, I'm rather proud of myself, actually. That doesn't mean I don't have a lot to do between now and then, but it does mean that I'm beginning to feel like I'm getting there, like I'm making headway. If I can feel like I'm making headway, I won't feel so overwhelmed or stressed.
As for the yard sale, If I even make a total of $20 during it, I'll be happy. If I can get someone to haul away a lot of the big stuff I have no use for and can't move, I'll be even happier, even if I make no money. It's in two weeks.
I have a lot of clerical tasks to do this week. Clerical as in, well, I have to write out my 30 days' notice to my landlord to send along with the rent check, I have to pay my Discover card bill (it came in the mail yesterday) and I will be spending a fair amount of time readying final exams and information sheets for my students -- not to mention grading their papers that will all be coming in at almost the same exact time(s). In addition to that, I have to start sending out my first sets of address change forms for magazines and other things I get via mail. And, as soon as I get my state tax refund check (which no, still has not arrived yet), I have to cash that too.
Buuuuuuuuuuuullshit. They told me this last year as well. And I got the refund relatively quickly. Like, in six weeks or so. Sixteen weeks is four months -- nobody in any state waits four months for a tax return.
As I completed and sent my return earlier than usual this year I would imagine I'll get the check in a few weeks at the most. This is good, as I'm only going to be living here for another month.
Over the course of the past week, people have been dropping off the guest list for the wedding like crazy -- mainly people from my side, and all of them locals. I've had three or four people tell me that they'll be unable to make it, and I have no doubt I'll hear the same from others. That's fine, of course; it was me who, in the beginning, wanted a much smaller affair than a larger one anyway. Again, I already view Daisy as my wife; the whole "ceremony" and "photos" and "reception" thing is just a formality to me more than anything else. And I understand that it's expensive, time-consuming, and inconvenient at best to attend a wedding, let alone anything else involved with said wedding. Several of my friends, and possibly my parents, will be "bugging out" as soon as the reception is over, as they have tight travel schedules. Parker has already told me that he's probably returning home to Wichita the same night. My parents, of course, will have to return home quickly as well, as they're taking off basically a week of work to be able to be there, and are boarding the dog and the cats while they are here. April has already told me that she and her husband are going to be in-and-out on a tight schedule because of her new job.
I don't have any problems with this, of course; look, people have lives and responsibilities -- either business or personal -- and it's really flattering that many of these people would come at all. I can't help it if they can't come, or if they can't stay long (or at all) after the ceremony.
My brother, who -- as you'll remember -- was unable to come due to crushing financial and work responsibilities, told me that he wants to get us a nice gift to make up for it. I told him that wasn't necessary at all; I don't want anyone to spend a bunch of money on us, especially those who can't afford to. Daisy and I don't need gifts or fancy things; the registry is basically a formality because I know most people won't use it. It's not like Daisy and I have any rich relatives or friends who would swoop in and say, buy us a new car because mine's falling apart, or give us a wad of hundreds in a handshake, which are the things we really need. That's not going to happen. More than that, I don't want a bunch of gifts just because people feel obligated to get us things. It's not Christmas, after all, and we're not royalty -- we're just two normal people getting married.
Rae has apparently taken it upon herself to get us something, though what that something may be, who knows. I told her that it was extremely unnecessary; she's getting gifts from me because she's in my groom's party. The groom's party doesn't give gifts, they receive them; any gifts for us are really not necessary -- the fact that those people are in the wedding is enough of a gift to us. I'd assume the same thing goes for the bridal party as well, though I'm not sure. All of these wedding rules and formalities are weird, strange customs to me.
"Who do you want to be your witness?" Daisy asked me.
"My what?"
"Your witness," she said. "When we sign the marriage license we have to have two witnesses for it."
I shrugged. "Honestly, I don't care, babe."
She gave me a quizzical, shocked look. "You don't care?"
"...no...why would I? Does it matter? Your parents can do it, right?"
"...of course it matters," she said, then explained how her sisters had specifically asked certain people to be there and be their witnesses, and how she'd been one of the witnesses for one of them.
"I...I really just don't care, love," I said. "It makes absolutely no difference to me who does it. I've given it no thought whatsoever and have no desires for anyone specific to do it."
This is true. I really don't care. It doesn't matter to me in the least as long as it's done. People put so much metaphorical weight into these little rituals that have absolutely no meaning to me or any bearing on anything real. One of our nieces or nephews could be our witness, for all it matters to me. It's a signature on a piece of paper. It doesn't change anything by who does it. If I could get away with it, I'd sign it myself and write "Santa Claus" or "Dr. Ben Dover." I'm pretty sure nobody ever looks at it or cares -- it's just another piece of paperwork that gets filed away in a cabinet somewhere.
"You should ask your mother to do it," she said.
"Okay, well, if she wants to, she can. I'm fine with that," I said. "Or my dad. Or Rae. Or Parker. Or anyone. Whatever works."
Again, so much ritual, so much pomp and circumstance.
I love Daisy. I love her very, very much. And I'm glad that she's done this metaphorical dance before with her sisters and friends who have gotten married over the years, so she knows everything that has to be done and everything that must take place in a specific order. But it's all news to me. It's all completely alien, completely foreign. I'm along for the ride here; I do what she tells me to do.
I do think it is incredibly amusing that not a single one of my friends has asked me if we're doing a prenuptial agreement. We're not, obviously, because it's me and Daisy and I don't think anything could make us want to divorce, but I think it's amusing that nobody's asked about it. Yes, I know that most of my friends aren't as blunt and to-the-point as I am, but I think the larger part of it is that for those of them who have met Daisy, have seen us together, or know her well, they also know that it would be pointless to ask because they can tell we're really perfect for each other. I don't know how many times over the course of the past, oh, year or so that I've been told something along the lines of "good lord, you two really are the perfect couple." It's more than I can count on one hand, I'll say that. The actual subject of a prenup has come up between me and Daisy -- over the course of the past almost two years we've been together -- only once or twice, and we both agreed that it was unnecessary.
Besides, neither of us have anything of value to split anyhow...not that I think it would matter if we did.
Tonight comes more boxing and packing, mostly of large things that need large boxes. I have to go out into the garage and get another large box for the extra bedsheets and blankets, as well as the air mattress I have, so that I can get those packed up and ready to throw onto the truck...which I have yet to book as I am low on money right now. When I'm at Walmart next, I'll need to get as many large boxes as I can, get another roll of duct tape for said boxes (as boxing things this weekend used up most of the roll I had), as well as a large bag of non-clumping cat litter to soak up the oil spots from the car in my garage and driveway. I'll also need to stock up on essentials once more, though thankfully I can wait to do most of that stuff for another several days, I'm guessing. This probably means that (once more) I will be doing a shopping trip on Wednesday night after my 210 students' presentations finish, and will be doing another smaller one next weekend to get more boxes -- since I don't need them yet.
It's humid and stuffy today; it rained lightly for a while this afternoon, but the storms they were calling for haven't yet actually rolled in (and I don't think they will, honestly, unless some of them start firing up soon). Even if they do, I hope there's no large hail, as I can't pull the car into the garage with a large stack of broken-down boxes in there waiting to be used.
No comments:
Post a Comment