Fall semester: day fifty-three
I've never been a fan of "your paper is due today" class days. For my own classes, this has never been a problem; when a paper is due, I've more than likely written it well in advance, proofread it several times, and have refined and revised it at least once before turning it in to my professor -- sometimes a week early.
This scenario, of course, is completely different for undergraduates, especially most of the undergraduates that a lot of us GTAs are teaching in the department. They're students that are only taking our classes because they're forced to -- not because they want to. There's a huge difference there. Very few freshmen would take an English Composition course if they didn't have to. Meanwhile, the majority of classes we take as graduate students we take because we want to. Yes, we have our requirements as well, but we also tend to have a bit more variety to choose from when it comes to fulfilling those requirements.
Now, I have good students. In fact, I have great students. They're all either honors students in their respective scientific/engineering fields, or they've otherwise been placed in my class because of their skills and talents. So, when a paper is due, almost all of them (currently 30, down from about 40 or so at the beginning of the semester) always have it done, submitted through SafeAssign, and turned in to me to grade. This is a far cry from the 101 students I taught for my entire first year as a GTA.
Well, most of them, anyway. I had a very large number of super-talented, on-the-ball students in my 101 classes as well, several of whom I have become close friends with after they exited my class.
Is that creepy? Oh well. It's not like I have more than a handful of friends in Kansas anyhow.
Anyway.
Those of you who know me well know that I go far above and beyond the call of duty for my students, and always have. I create a lot more work for myself in doing so, what with making handouts to explain class assignments better, giving them example templates for their paper plans, searching out extra, interesting articles on the web that they can use in their research (and, additionally, as something extra to generate discussion in class), and if that wasn't enough, I tend to spend inordinate amounts of time either emailing them back and forth to answer any and all questions they have or sitting in my office hours with them for hours of one-on-one discussion. I am proud of this work. Even though a lot of other GTAs or professors in other departments may not spend all of this extra time on or with their students to assuage their fears and help them along, I tend to encourage my colleagues to do so as well. Yes, as I said, it's a hassle, and above all, we should be focusing on our own classes much more than the ones we're teaching, and I try to -- but maybe it's easier for me because I have no social life whatsoever outside the fifteen or so free hours per week that I'm on campus, but not teaching or in class.
I have written this long-winded introduction of sorts to explain why tonight, from 10PM until shortly before midnight (when all of my students' papers were due on SafeAssign, as it expired at 11:59PM) I spent all of my time fielding final questions about the aforementioned SafeAssign -- as well as students' grades in my class -- right up until almost the very last minute.
At Flat State University, yesterday (November 1) was the final day to drop a class for the semester with a "W," which basically means you've withdrawn from it. A "W" on a transcript or report card does not affect one's GPA, so this was basically any student's "last chance" to leave a course that they may fail or otherwise will possibly do poorly in. For my classes, as I'm teaching the exact same course next semester at the exact same time (only the building has changed) it presented my students with a unique opportunity, as if they're not doing well this semester, they can simply take it again -- with me -- in the spring. And they already know how I teach. I figured this would get a few of the stragglers or the miss-one-day-a-week (on average) absentees to leave the course before their grades started to seriously suffer.
Nope. Well after midnight on November 2nd, I still have a total of 30 students on my roster, including at least one who has already failed outright for absences and several others who are on their very last day before they fail if they miss another.
Shit, I thought, and I was really hoping to have a fail-free semester this fall, too.
Anyway, yes, even on a night where generally I am asleep at midnight (or, at the very least, I should be), I spent an inordinate amount of time answering student emails with questions, sending out "hey, upload your paper to SafeAssign before 11:59 or it's not going to be graded" emails, and generally trying to be the best English instructor I can be. As I said, I take pride in it.
One of my students told me in class today (and, granted, I hear this at least three times every semester) that my class was the most enjoyable English class he's ever taken, and that he's learning a lot from my lectures. Several other students piped up and agreed with him. I responded with the same sort of response I always use in these situations -- I thanked them and said that as long as my students are learning things, I'll generally try to keep the class as engaging and interesting as possible. I may have to take a hard stance on the rules of the course and what's required of my students work-wise, but for the most part that's because I have to due to department regulations. I don't want the kids to be bored to tears, which is sometimes hard because of the subject matter I cover at times; I want them to learn, I want them to engage with me, their fellow students, and the course materials. It always makes me proud to a certain extent when a student tells me something along these lines, generally because I remember my own experiences as an undergraduate (and, to some extent, a graduate student) taking classes I was wholly uninterested in.
So, it appears I'll have 30 students from now until the second week of December, barring any who stop showing up. It's less papers to grade than I was expecting, to be sure, but still a decent number. Last semester I had a little less than 30 at the end of the semester. In the spring, I would imagine I'll have close to the same amount, as enrollment is usually a little lower.
By the way, it appears that every weekend from now until after Thanksgiving will be spent grading and/or reading/writing. After this coming Thursday all of my "free time" will once more come to an end, and it'll be hardline work all the way through Finals Week, more than likely. This weekend (more than likely starting this morning once I get back to campus) will be spent grading the papers I collected yesterday and reading through two novels. Next week/weekend will be spent grading the Proposal/Annotated Bibliography assignments I assigned today, reading two more novels, and preparing two (yes, two) class presentations, one for each of my lit classes, with the addition of registering for my spring classes on Monday the 14th. Thanksgiving week will be spent revising/adding to my Midnight's Children paper, writing the long paper for my fiction class (12-20 pages), the topic/novel of which is still TBD, and preparing my portfolio for my workshop course.
However, if I get all of that done, the week after Thanksgiving (the 28th through the 2nd) should be relatively quiet -- I'll have workshops in my classes for my students -- and the week after that is the last week of classes before final exams, when I'll collect and grade their final papers and give them the "practice exam" on the last day of class (December 8). If I can get everything written and read in advance, the last two weeks of the semester should be smooth and fairly peaceful. Then again, I can never truly plan anything in advance.
I do have one final exam of my own I must take, for the Asian/Middle Eastern Lit course -- as that professor always gives both a midterm exam and a final in addition to his required papers (I've mentioned this before). After that, aside from proctoring my students' exams and calculating their final grades to report/turn in, I'll be done for the semester. I may be far from being out of the woods, so to speak, but at least I know my plan of attack at this point.
Yesterday, I taught my normal classes and enjoyed the absolutely gorgeous weather before coming home; it had to be over 80 yesterday afternoon, and it was wonderful driving weather. I loved it. I came home, made a late lunch, and did some work here on the computer before taking an afternoon nap (which became my sleep for the night) from 4PM to 10/11 or so.
The weather gods have apparently decided, however, that yesterday was the last day I'll be able to wear shorts again until, oh, spring.
Why do I say this? Well, while it is currently 61 degrees outside (at 2:30 AM in November, mind you), that temperature is supposed to drop steadily all day today, and rain is supposed to move in. By this evening, it's supposed to turn over to a steady snow. Yes, here in the Wichita area. The Weather Channel is calling for at least an inch of snow this evening/tonight for up here in Newton, even. Oh, and we're supposed to have 50mph winds as well.
Again, I will remind you that it was over eighty degrees yesterday.
Will the snow stick if it does begin falling here this afternoon/evening? Hell no; the ground's not frozen. Will it make driving home on wet, snowy roads an absolute pain in the fucking ass at 10PM when I get out of workshop, not to mention driving back in to campus on Thursday morning? Absolutely. I am not looking forward to such a rapid shift in the weather, no, not at all. Also keep in mind that while the Monte Carlo has been a trooper thus far this semester, I have tires that will need replaced soon, and I've never driven it in snow yet. Suffice it to say that I'm not looking forward to my trip back home this evening, or even the trip several miles across town to tonight's workshop class. And, because of the coming cold, it looks like I'll be wearing layers again today.
In other news, I was planning to go to Walmart on my way home yesterday afternoon to stock up on discounted Halloween candy, as from all reports they're loaded for bear with it and are slashing prices on it like crazy to get rid of it and make room for Christmas stuff. I did not end up doing this, mainly because there was that little voice in the back of my head that told me you know, you don't really need any candy, and any money you'd spend on it would more than likely be used better on bills, real food, and gas for the car. That little voice is right, to be honest; though my money situation is okay (for the moment), it's not really in my budget to be buying candy, of all things. Not when I have to look to the future of the next two months and plot out, basically, where every dollar I have is going to go. Here's a hint: mostly to rent, bills, food, renewing my car insurance, and gas -- with not a whole lot of wiggle room left over. Again, this is typical of the life of a poor graduate student. Nobody should envy my life or financial situation, trust me.
On the bright side, it could be a lot worse, and I'm glad that at least for the moment that it's not.
There's a lot of people mentioning two things that's going on during November; the first is "No Shave November," which apparently is a thing. Guys aren't supposed to shave during November, grow a beard, etc. To that, I say done and done. I wasn't planning on shaving again until the temperature hits around 70 or so and stays there again. In Kansas, however, that could be next week or it could be April. Who knows. Regardless, over the winter months, the full beard is coming back and will be kept. I may do some trim/upkeep to it, but I'm not shaving it off while it's going to be cold. It's like a hairy scarf.
The other thing that everyone is writing about (pardon the pun) during November is NaNoWriMo, which is short for "National Novel Writing Month." The goal of NaNoWriMo is to start writing and get 50,000 words towards a novel by the end of the month. Everyone, not just writers, is encouraged to do it.
I am one of the very few writers I know who cannot stand the concept of NaNoWriMo and actively fight against its aims.
Why?
Because, really, for one it creates competition in the literary world. If someone who's never written before and never had any experience in writing happens to create an awesome novel during the month of November, it doesn't necessarily make me jealous (mainly because I can't write fiction worth a fuck), but it does piss me off -- mainly because some of those non-writers will get exposure and possible publication of their books. People who have other jobs, other skills, and, y'know, different lives than those of us who have spent our entire lives writing, devoting large amounts of time and education to it and have gotten exactly nowhere.
Permit me to be bitter and frank, but I'm a writer because I have approximately no other marketable life skills. Nothing. I have literally nothing else going for me in my life. This is why I worked at two different newspapers and have gone back to school for an MFA in creative writing -- because it not only provided me with a very low paying job as a GTA, but it allows me to basically write whatever I want with the hope of using my education as stepping-stone into a writing-based field, whether that be writing books or teaching writing. Again, I have no other marketable skills. And I am a mediocre writer at that -- far from the best in the department, let alone far from the best writer I know personally (fiction, poetry, or otherwise).
Now put yourself in my shoes and imagine someone with a very comfortable job, a comfortable living, a nice car and home saying "Hey, I've never written before and have never cared about the literary world, but since my life gives me enough free time to write 50,000 words this month, I'm going to write a novel." And they do, and people like it, and it gets published and they get even richer.
Tell me -- especially if you've made a poor-paying career out of writing and changed your entire life and education to revolve around it -- that hearing a story like this wouldn't make you extremely bitter and pissed off. Especially if journals and other publishers keep rejecting your manuscripts, and you're going approximately nowhere with your choice of career.
That's why I don't support NaNoWriMo and outwardly hate it. Too many of us have been struggling in the literary world -- good writers, good poets -- and are being abjectly ignored. More people writing means more competition for those of us who have made writing an integral part of our lives already. Believe me, we writers already struggle enough; we don't need anything else to keep us down. Especially those of us who, like me, are merely mediocre.
Anyway.
I've canceled my office hours tomorrow afternoon in anticipation of the Tim O'Brien meet-and-greet, as well as the evening reading at 7PM (as my Asian/Middle Eastern Lit course has already been canceled for the day because of said reading). I still have to go in to teach, of course, and will still have my practicum meeting with my supervisor (which may be the last meeting we'll have for the semester, but more on that later) and I'll still work my hour in the Writing Center at 1. After that, though? Who knows. I may go to the O'Brien meeting at 2, but I'm certainly not sticking around until 7 for the full reading/lecture. Any weekday which I can get off campus earlier rather than later I'm going to take full advantage of, especially if the weather is cold and nasty. That means extra time to sleep, extra time to take care of shopping/other around the house stuff, or to finish my grading as early as possible so that I can focus on the rest of my work over the weekend. Those late-night Thursday classes are really what kills my productive streak on Fridays. I get home late, I stay awake until I can wind myself down enough to sleep, and then I sleep until the afternoon on Friday (sometimes mid-afternoon) and end up getting approximately dick accomplished on the first day of my "weekend."
Oh, how thankful I am that I won't have any late-night classes at all next semester.
On that note, it's 3:30 in the morning. I may take a nap until around 6 or so before I must start my day and get to school, dealing with the weather and two Wednesday classes, plus office hours.
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