Homeward Found

Spring semester: day fifty-three

I entered class on Tuesday night to thunderous applause and cheering, as an April Fool's joke that I didn't get until they explained it to me. I'm not sure what was more sad and pathetic -- the fact that they'd only cheer and applaud me as a joke, or the fact that out of the nineteen students on my roster, only six were there, setting a new record for futility in that course. Spanned across both classes I taught on Tuesday, I had four different students automatically fail for absences alone. I waited until yesterday to send out emails about it, lest said students think said emails were an April Fool's joke in themselves.

While yes, that's four fewer sets of papers and exams I'll have to grade this semester, come on, man. There's like, a month of classes left. And they're paying for that F, too. Quite literally. It costs money to go to college, you know.

I never outright failed a college course. There were courses (well, one or two) that I should have failed, buuuuuut...I either dropped them or buckled down and did just enough to get my C (one or two courses there), or there was a hell of a grading curve on the final exam that got me a B in the class (Astronomy 101). That astronomy course was set up like a graduate-level astrophysics course, and was taught by the chair of the department at the time -- and I think what happened was that he tried to fail everyone, the department wouldn't let him, and he had to pass us all. Hah.

Anyway. So that's disheartening, but it's less for me to grade as the semester winds down, so moving on...

The rest of my week was fine. Normal, even. No cases of mistaken identity, no morally-questionable flyers hanging up anywhere, no bizarre coincidences or other strange circumstances -- I taught my classes, I came home, I went to bed, and I got up to teach my classes the next day. With the exception of the threat of some nasty thunderstorms last night -- storms that never hit me here, but were all around the area and were pretty to watch -- this was just like any other week.

Lingering effects of the storms, which were close enough to make some beautiful lightning for my drive home from my night 210 class and light up the skies here in Newton while I was eating dinner last night, persisted into this morning. My electric flickered like crazy several times this morning when I got up, and kicked me off the internet at least twice. I'd put the car in the garage when I came home last night as there was the possibility of large hail, but I did so for no reason -- nothing at all hit Newton except for a bit of very light rain/sprinkles. It's that time of year, though; tornadoes and severe storms are firing up all across the midwest, and we have officially entered "tornado season."

I have friends and family who have never lived out here who have, in the past, asked me how I can do it (meaning, live where there are tornadoes all the time) without going crazy. It's an odd question for me, really. I've lived in the midwest, in both Missouri and Kansas, since 2006. In another few months, I'll be able to add Nebraska to that list. In that time -- all of that time -- the closest a tornado has been to me has been...oh, 30 or 40 miles away? Something like that. Give or take a few miles, anyway. Now, mind you, I've had some close calls; some of the twisters in the April 2012 tornado outbreak were pretty close to me, and if some of them hadn't changed direction they could've taken out Newton (some EF4s hit about an hour or so north of me, and a few smaller ones hit around the Wichita area). However, the one thing I can't stress enough to my friends and family who don't live out here is that the midwest is big, and the midwest is flat and stretched out. A lot. There's a lot of open space here for tornadoes to roam through, and especially in Kansas, most of that open space is farmland or fields, not cities or towns. Obviously, that doesn't mean tornadoes don't hit cities or towns out here (just look at Joplin, Moore, Greensburg, or Andover) -- but the risk of living out here during tornado season is nowhere near what people outside the area think it is. Unless it was being tested (and they test it every Monday at noon) I've never heard the tornado siren in Newton go off, and I've been living here for five years. Even when I lived in Missouri, I only heard it go off maybe three times over the course of the three years I lived there. Most of the severe thunderstorms, even, that I've lived through out here aren't comparable to the worst thunderstorms I lived through when I was in West Virginia. It's an overblown, overhyped statistic. Daisy and her family lived in Florida for some time -- I'm guessing they saw many more tornadoes there than they see in Nebraska.

Now that I've said this, of course, watch a tornado threaten my wedding day.

There have been some big updates on that front, actually -- this morning Daisy put down the deposit on our new apartment. It opens up on the 11th for our own walkthroughs, and it's available to us to begin moving into on May 1 -- when we'll formally take rentership (is that a word?) of it.

This is, to be sure, exciting, but nerve-wracking news. I, of course, will be teaching for the first half of May -- and what time I'm not teaching will be spent giving/grading final exams and packing/cleaning this house. During those two weeks or so, I can only assume that Daisy will be moving her own stuff/furniture/etc into the place, and once the semester ends we'll both be doing the same with my own stuff, with the goal of me being completely moved out of this place by the end of May (with some time to spare, more than likely). We've discussed the logistics of this at length, especially when it comes to timeframes, moving trucks being rented, utilities being shut off and bills forwarded, etc. It can be done easily if we schedule our times/days effectively.

As for the place itself, I've seen the floor plan and I've seen the photos -- it's nice. It's a second-story two-bedroom, two-bathroom place, something like 1400sqft, and it's in a very secure complex with access to two gyms and two swimming pools. Daisy's oldest sister used to live in the same complex several years ago, so she and her family are at least somewhat familiar with it as it is. It's six miles from the parents' house and about the same distance from the wedding venue, it's in a decent part of town, and there's easy access to major highways/roads/interstates. There's also only a one-time deposit for the cats, and unlike other places, they don't require the cats to be declawed (because yes, many places do require that inhumane, barbaric procedure on your cats before they'll let them in), and while it's a little higher than our original price range, we can still afford it -- Daisy herself will be able to cover May and June's rent alone, and I'll be able to help her along with whatever money I can send/provide from my tax returns once they arrive.

My point? Daisy did a good job here. I'm really proud of her.

This is not all set in stone yet, obviously; all that's been paid for thus far is the deposit, which reserves the place for us; no leases have yet been signed (and won't be until May 1, of course). If we change our mind for some reason between now and then, Daisy gets the deposit back and we wash our hands of that place. That's unlikely to happen, of course, since that would put us back at square one, but it's good to know on some level that we're not completely locked in/locked down yet. In the meantime, I was sent the "application" for the place (y'know, since I'll be living there and all) by the apartment manager, which I'll have to mail out in a few days via snail-mail -- while I could do it and send it back via email tonight, they need a copy of my driver's license. Like, a photocopy of it. I don't have a scanner (and as far as I know, the department doesn't have a functional one either; the one we had broke over a year ago, and it was taken away/not replaced when all of the new computers were installed earlier this semester). So that has to be photocopied and mailed. They need my information, even though Daisy's the one signing the lease, because I'm the only one of us who has a rental history -- Daisy does not. My rental history is good, obviously, so that doesn't matter, but they need to have something on record there.

I'm actually quite excited, as nerve-wracking as all of this is for both of us. While I don't fear change or anything like that, at least not in this instance, I do dread the amount of work, cleaning, packing, and moving I'll have to be doing in the course of the next two months or so. Not to mention all of the work and coordinating surrounding the wedding and its guests, as well.

"You talk about the wedding and coordinating everyone's travel and plans like it's something you have to worry about," Daisy told me a while back. "You don't."

"Yeah, actually, for my side I do have to worry about it," I said. "You know, at least for most of the people on your side, who's coming to the wedding and who isn't, and when they'll get there and how things are going to work. And the vast majority of those people already live in Omaha or the surrounding area. For me, it's not like that. I've got a lot of people flying or driving from out of state, I've got a bunch of people I've invited who haven't RSVPed, so who knows if they're actually coming even if they say they are, and the people in my groom's party, even, are coming from five different places. I have to make sure they can all get here and all be here at the same time for the events that are going on -- and with these people, I have to be on their asses about it, otherwise this is going to be a complete and total mess on my end."

I don't even know my parents' travel plans -- my mother hasn't been in contact with me for a week, and the last time she was, she told me she didn't know what their plans would be because she didn't know what they'd do with their new dog while they were gone, since they can't bring said dog (or their cats) with them. My brother, who is my best man, is seriously concerned about the time and logistics of making the trip out here, especially since he's not exactly independently wealthy (and has a wife and three children who, though they were invited, can't afford to come). I haven't seen Parker once this semester, and have only talked to him back and forth very briefly on Twitter or Facebook since, oh, early December. April and her husband are fine and are completely on board, though I don't know what their travel plans are (but they're taking care of it). Rae, I assume, will be driving out here herself. The rest of my wedding party and guests who I know are coming have still yet to tell me where/when/how they're going to work everything out, and who knows when/if they actually will. Rae has offered to split a hotel room with a group of them (as there's a decently-sized group from the department who are either in the wedding or will otherwise be there), but I don't know if any of them have made any plans yet.

Yes, I do have to worry about these things. I do have to "keep on" people about it, or otherwise the wedding day will come and nobody from my side will be there because they fucked around and didn't take care of what they needed to do when they should've been doing it. I'm a pretty laid-back guy most of the time, but when people agree to be part of something and commit to it, then basically ignore it and/or hem and haw about it until the last minute, I can and will get just as dictatorial with them as I do with students in the classroom who don't follow directions.

Daisy doesn't have to deal with this sort of stuff with her people -- even those coming from out of state (or even Canada), be they friends or family or both, have made their plans, they've RSVPed one way or the other, they've done what needs to be done and set aside the time to be there at the wedding when it happens, and they're excited about it. When I can barely get anyone on my side to do the same, or even care enough to try? That's depressing and sad, and I'm really not even sure what that says about me as a person.

Still, there is some hope in the world when it comes to my friends and family, even those who aren't attending said wedding -- one of my longtime friends messaged me last night to ask for the wedding registry information, as she wanted to get us something. I found that incredibly sweet, honestly. She doesn't have to do anything for us (nobody does, really) but it was an amazingly nice gesture.

Since we now know how much room we'll have (approximately) we've trimmed down the registry quite a bit; I took off a lot of the large furniture and other more expensive (or now unavailable items) I had on there (a few dressers, a chest freezer, a coffee table, two different couches and chairs) and added a few more smaller items that we'll need -- some bathroom stuff, a few towel sets in different colors, etc. Do people even still use wedding registries anyway? Is it tacky to have a wedding registry, even? I don't know. I haven't been married before, obviously, so I have no clue. I don't know if either of my parents had any sort of registry set up for their previous marriages. I'm also hoping, not-so-secretly, that a lot of people just bypass the registry completely and give us gift cards, cash, or checks. We absolutely will need the money, especially as, while I have applied for many jobs and will apply for many more, I don't know where or when I'll be working again after the semester ends.

Anyway.

The other wedding development this week was that Daisy booked the catering from Fazoli's -- and got an excellent deal on it. It cost about half of what we were originally expecting, which (of course) cuts down on the overall costs for the wedding. This is good, as we now have an apartment -- or will have one soon -- to pay for. With the catering set up, everything is now in place for the wedding itself but the little things we'll do in the last few days beforehand, such as the small amount of decorating necessary and getting the speakers/sound system for the music (which, apparently, we're borrowing from the husband of one of our friends). I'm guessing much of the money from my taxes that I give to Daisy -- however much that may be -- will go towards paying for the incidentals and for stuff we have to have real cash on hand for, such as paying for the security guard at the venue (because yes, we have to do that) or for the photographer or the cleaning crew.

Or, y'know, for the cat deposit on the apartment.

Some of the stuff I ordered from Publisher's Clearing House came in this week -- my Mother's Day presents for both of our mothers came in, as well as the tabletop fruit basket set that I got for Daisy (rather cheaply as well, I might add). I'm still waiting on the Father's Day present for Daisy's dad, and I still have to find something for my own dad as well, of course. The present for Daisy's mother was "on backorder" according to the shipping notification I got yesterday, and surprisingly, it arrived today -- so I'm guessing it wasn't on backorder for very long. I have to pay the bills for that stuff, as well as my electric and water bills, this weekend. I need to get more stamps for those as well -- not to mention the apartment information sheet/photocopy of my license -- which I'll get when I go shopping this weekend. I'm really hoping that my tax refunds come in soon, because I've got a lot of stuff to cover this month, and with the whole insurance screw-up on last week's check, I have about $200-250 less right now than I normally would to take care of it. Not to mention that, y'know, Daisy needs some money from me soon to take care of some of the aforementioned above things as well, and I can't give her any until I actually have some.

On the plus side? My insurance/dental/prescription cards are pretty. Too bad I only have about two months to use them (if I need to) before that coverage expires.

No, I haven't gotten any calls back or emails about the jobs I've applied for. Still waiting on those too. In the meantime, a large chunk of this weekend will again be spent looking for and applying for more positions in Omaha.

I have a somewhat light weekend ahead of me. I will be editing through my 210 students' proposal drafts, and will be re-reading/lesson planning stuff for my 011 and 102 students for Tuesday. A week from today, next Thursday, is my conference day with my 102 students, and they don't have a formal class but will instead be meeting with me for ten minutes each in the office I used on West campus last semester. Because my weekend is still fairly light (I'm between papers/projects right now) I'm going to be spending more time cleaning and packing, and will now certainly be spending time getting everything ready for the city-wide garage sale -- which is a month from today. I've made my decision that this is absolutely something I need to do, and I'm going to sell everything I can. That means I need to gut parts of this house in the next few weeks and will be organizing everything I need in one spot in the basement/bedroom so that I can easily move it in and out of the garage and house that morning. It'll not only make moving much easier but it will give me extra money, even if that extra money is less than $100 or so. It'll be worth the work just to get rid of a lot of the stuff, and again, it'll save me time on packing. If the weather's nice, I need to clean off the back deck this weekend and throw away/recycle everything out there, too.

So yeah, lots of stuff to be done. I'll keep everyone updated on everything, of course, as I always do.