So.
We got the car towed to Firestone Monday afternoon and had to leave it there overnight. On Tuesday morning they called me and said that it was done -- two new tires and an oil change for $218. There were other miscellaneous little issues with it they told me about as well, but it wasn't anything I didn't already know about, nor anything I haven't known about for years -- wheel bearings are loud, "service engine soon" light on (it's always been on since I bought the car), etc. I picked it up, paid for it, and it fired up perfectly fine. The drive was smooth like butter on those new tires, and the oil change helped out the engine quite a bit, as I could already tell. And I went to work and came home with my stress levels already lowered compared to the usual.
This was fine for two days -- Tuesday and Wednesday. And this was my normal pattern of work (which, for the record, has been awful this week). Yesterday, I went to work as I normally do at my normal time, and because there's never any parking in the main lot, I parked in the overflow lot, in the same spot I park in every day when I have to park down there. The overflow lot is about 100 yards from the front of the building, and I park under the treeline at the end of it. It sucks in the cold sometimes, but otherwise the lot is fine. I walk back down there at the end of my shift and get in, fire it up, drive home.
Last night at the end of my shift -- to my absolute horror, of course, I found that the car had been broken into. In the work parking lot. But it wasn't just broken into, oh no -- it had basically been destroyed on the inside. The entire dash had been smashed in, the rearview mirror ripped off and down, the glove compartment bashed open, stereo (obviously) ripped out and stolen, and (worst of all), the entire ignition assembly had been torn out and was laying in pieces on the floor, the assembly housing completely trashed and even the metal scarred and torn up.
Now, the Monte Carlo is old, but it does have an anti-theft system. That system is a chip embedded in the ignition key of the car. Without it, or if that chip is malfunctioning/doesn't complete the internal circuit, the car won't start. I've had my fair share of complaints about the engineering at GM on that car, but this feature is more than likely why the car is still sitting in the parking lot at work.
However, the would-be thieves had already torn out the tumbler assembly of the ignition switch, severing the wires and everything. Which means there was nothing for the key to connect to. While I could still stick said key into the hole, it would only go in about half an inch, as the chip assembly/key rotator switch was torn out, wires cut, and that's what makes the car start. My car would ding at me as it recognized that the key was in there, but it couldn't turn or turn over the engine (obviously), so there was nothing I could do. It appears that they tried to jam a screwdriver in there (or some other metal tool) in an attempt to get it to turn. Yeah, wasn't happening with my car. At some point they left, and I came back to my car at midnight when my shift was over with it all fucked up.
So. Daisy called the police and found that we could do a report via phone; however, the people who did that weren't in until 7AM. With the car rendered undriveable and no other recourse at midnight after another soul-crushing day at work, we left it there in the parking lot and came home; me for the night, Daisy on her lunch hour. We discussed our options. The first thing I had to do, of course, was file a claim with my insurance company (Geico) in the morning for the attempted theft, and then we'd go from there. Realistically we'd be using our AAA membership again to get it towed home or to a junkyard, as I figured a report of damage would total it out since it's so old and half falling apart cosmetically anyway.
This was not the case, but I'll get to that.
When Daisy got back to work after her lunch hour, she immediately called me.
"Was there a car parked next to yours when we left?" she asked.
"Nope," I said.
"Okay, I didn't think so. I'm calling the police. I hope they're still fucking there."
What transpired after that is nothing short of mindblowing. I shall defer to Daisy here, as her description of it she wrote is pretty spot on as-it-happened:
Brandon's car got broken into yesterday, Thursday-- they fucked it up, pulled the ignition out, etc. He discovered it as he went to go home from work. I took my lunch and drove him home and then went back to work. As I drove by I had a feeling and looked to the left in the overflow parking lot where his car was parked. There was a car parked next to his. We'd called the police earlier and were going to file a report later today. I called 911 again because there was no reason a car should be parked next to his in that lot at this time. While waiting for the police, another car arrived, a grey truck, and parked behind Brandon's, facing the exit and ready to drive away. Forty minutes later the police arrive-- not the officers' fault, they were sent from SW Omaha because of another incident that had taken police attention in the area. The grey truck drove away as the police drove by. The police circled back, not aware the people they were looking for just drove off, and discovered they'd left the car next to Brandon's-- the one I originally called to report-- still running, hot-wired, with no one in it.
I watched a crime from my work window cursing the delay it took for police to arrive. The damage has possibly totaled out Brandon's car. But, on life turns. Things could always be worse and I'm thankful that we're both okay. I'm also thankful for my amazing people I work with who walked me up to police and held my hand to make sure I was okay.
Yeah. That's the brief rundown of it all, anyway. According to my wife, it was ongoing; they came back -- apparently hell-bent-determined to steal my near-worthless Monte Carlo, and continued to try to hotwire it for forty more minutes before the police showed up. How do I know this? Because Daisy and at least three coworkers were watching it as it happened.
Daisy gave our police report to the officers in person, and got our case number -- which I have and gave to the Geico people this morning -- but told us not to expect to hear back from them (obviously) because there's nothing really the police can do here. I have not yet seen any further damage they caused to the car, of course, because it happened after I was home and asleep for the night. The car remains in the lot.
So.
This morning when Daisy went to bed, I was just waking up and she gave me the rundown of what was going on. My first job, of course, was to report a claim with Geico. I did so, online, and then missed a call from an agent who gave me a number to call him back...a number that went right into Geico's phone tree and took me nowhere. I got another number for the claims department from an operator in some department in Texas, and called back in. This time I got an agent on the line and explained my situation, and she gave me a list of questions about the incident -- which of course I answered truthfully -- before looking up my policy and telling me that theft, attempted theft, and vandalism/damage is not covered by my insurance plan, as I do not have "comprehensive coverage."
For fuck's sake.
My car is almost twenty years old, and to put it under comprehensive coverage (I later found out) would cost me $1000 total per year to insure the car. I only paid $500 for the car to begin with. There is literally nothing the insurance people can do for the car as it is -- this is all on me, out-of-pocket.
"What we'll have to do is file this as an informational claim," she said.
She was, for the record, very sweet and very helpful -- as much as she could be, anyway -- but it still means I'm boned. They can't total out the car; nothing can be done with it now other than to A) have it towed home so that it's no longer in the parking lot at work, and B) have it towed again to a scrapyard to sell it for scrap, or conversely, to an auto shop to see if the entire ignition assembly can be repaired for a somewhat reasonable amount.
Again, I am thankful Daisy signed us up for AAA earlier this week.
More information as it comes in.
