The washer is unfixable.
Well, let me rephrase -- it can be fixed. It would need to be completely disassembled, have several very expensive parts completely replaced, and the cost of those parts plus the time and labor involved outweigh the washer's actual worth/cost to junk it and just replace it with a comparable model.
So, that's what's going to happen. Our home warranty (who we have the repair/replace coverage through), gives us several no-cost options and multiple others that are lower-cost-to-us options -- meaning our washer is worth like $700, but the ones that are not fully covered are like $900, meaning we'd pay $200. For example.
I helped Daisy pick a new one, and it gets delivered today. It's different -- not as high-technology as the old one (which makes me happy, since I hated all the electronic controls/touchscreens on the old one) but functionally the same. It will be delivered, installed by the delivery teams, and the old one will be hauled away. So, that will be taken care of, at least. Final cost to us is essentially free, as we are getting reimbursed by the home warranty folks. Eventually. "Within twenty-one days," says their literature.
All of you reading this -- if you own your own home, a home warranty is definitely worth it. I know I've told you this before. Between repairs to plumbing (toilet, sink, floor drains, and the garbage disposal), electrical, the furnace, the microwave, the stove, the refrigerator, and the washer multiple times, it has paid for itself so many times over. It will be well worth it to you if you have a house that's older with older appliances, trust me.
The house is slowly returning to some semblance of "normal" after Maggie's passing. Her death came at a weird time socially for our cats, as she and Empress only coexisted in the house for way under a month at the same time, and two weeks of that she was sequestered away upstairs in the bedroom. As such, we maybe only had ten days or so where all five cats existed and free-roamed the house together as a unified unit -- and while Maggie would watch Emmy and Emmy would watch her, the two of them never really interacted aside from being physically in the same room together. As I've said before, Maggie never gave a single shit about either Emmy or Hank other than some passing glances and the occasional sleep-cuddle with Hank on the couch.
In Maggie's absence, however, Pete and Sadie have become completely comfortable with Emmy being around. Emmy has always liked Pete, and occasionally Pete has given her some of that old man, big dad energy, but mostly he is also a quiet observer of her. She'll lay with him occasionally and want him to make over her, and he will for brief periods, but their dynamic is so different than the one Pete shared with Hank -- which was far more playful rivalry, but also cuddly, lovey, and brother-like. Now that Hank has gotten older and is no longer really a kitten (he still is by age, but I mean, he's far more mature and much more of a grown-up, big boy now), they really share space and love in a much different way. Hank doesn't go after Pete for playtime or comfort cuddles anymore -- he has Emmy for that now.
Sadie I sort of feel bad for in some ways but also feel very happy for in others. She did just lose her sister, who had been by her side her entire life, and while she expresses that grief differently than Pete (she doesn't pee on things or howl throughout the house, which is a plus), it is still noticeable that she is in whatever the cat equivalent of mourning is. Sadie was always a very co-dependent cat -- she would never have functioned well were she to be the only cat of a household.
I know this is deeply ironic because I have also written here before that she is fiercely independent, and she is, but let me explain further.
Sadie is co-dependent in the fact that she needs to be in the presence of humans or other cats at all times. She does not like being alone in any capacity. That being said, she doesn't necessarily want to interact with the other cats or humans -- she just wants them physically there. She will ignore the shit out of everything that's going on most of the time, but the second all activity ceases and she's left alone, she gets a wild amount of separation anxiety and doesn't know what to do with herself. She has always hated when we've gone on vacation anywhere and will hide, sometimes not showing herself on any of the indoor cameras for days, slinking around as if she knows where they are and doesn't want to be seen. The parents, when we've been out of town and away from the house and they've had to come feed the cats and take care of the pans, began calling Sadie the "ghost cat" or the "make-believe cat" because they would never see her, ever, even when they looked for her. She'd fuck off and hide somewhere. She does the same thing when we return home from vacation too -- she'll see that yes, it's us and yes we're home, and then she'll go hide somewhere for six hours and will not come out -- to tell us, silently, how angry she is at us for leaving her.
At least when we're away from the house we always were able to know where Maggie was. Turn on the cameras -- she was either on the couch, eating food in the living room, or drinking water in the kitchen. There were no exceptions to that rule. Pete was about the same, unless he was sleeping under the bed or something, or somewhere right outside the cameras' view.
Anyway.
Sadie shows her mourning by the fact that she will never be downstairs now unless one of us are down there with her. It's like it scares her to be down there without us now. While she always followed me around anyway (there's a reason I call her "my shadow"), generally when I ended work for the night and went upstairs in the morning, she'd be sleeping next to Maggie on the couch and would rarely, if ever, notice I was gone. When I got up in the afternoons, I'd find her -- most of the time -- in a very similar spot, where it looked like she'd barely moved all day. This has been her pattern since we got Hank. Before Hank, she would almost always come to sleep with me every day. When I would wake up, she'd also get up, stand on the bed next to me, and give me a good-morning kiss. She is a very sweet old girl. After Hank, she generally just slept downstairs most of the time and I joked with Daisy that may have been a silent protest to us bringing a rowdy orange boy into her peaceful space.
However, after Maggie's passing, Sadie has slept all day with me almost every single day. She has come upstairs with me in the morning (all of them do now, which I also find sort of odd) and if I don't go to bed quickly enough for her liking, she will go in and get her spot between the pillows without me. She does not care that/if the children are being rowdy, she does not care that/if they sleep on the bed with her, and most of the time she does not care even if Pete curls up with her, or me, or both of us during sleeping hours in the daytime -- she very much just seems like she does not want to be downstairs alone more than anything else.
In the last few months leading up to Maggie's death, she and Sadie got far more cuddly than they'd been in many years. I don't know if Sadie could tell that it was almost time for Maggie to go and she wanted to be loving and protective of her, or if she could just tell that Maggie wasn't feeling well and wanted/needed some extra love, or what. I have photos and videos on my phone from my working hours that show Maggie seeking that love as well -- climbing up onto the couch with Sadie and cuddling in tight and very close, like a blanket over Sadie, and Sadie licking her head and comforting her. Even when they weren't cuddled up tight, Maggie was a constant presence for Sadie, and they would lay together every single day. Sisters.
Those pictures were taken on October 30, 2023.
So yes, for Sadie I am very certain that Maggie being gone is an absolutely noticeable void to her that cannot be filled. She's not really cuddly like that with Pete (well, she can be, but it's not really an everyday thing, since it's sometimes hard for them to get along) and certainly not with Hank, but I have noticed that day by day, she's beginning to bond more with Empress.
It is a very slow process with lots of observation on both sides. Sadie is cautious, and Emmy is super-curious. She does not go after Sadie or try to play with her/spar with her, but she does get close to her, they eat together, they watch each other. Emmy observes the sweetness and kindness, the comfort I give Sadie, and as cats mold themselves to their environment and learn from other cats and humans, Emmy has in turn become more relaxed, calm, and accepting of love, cuddles, and kisses from us as she settles in. She will follow Sadie around on occasion, and Sadie will follow her around almost as a curiosity. I'm not sure Sadie really knows what to make of this little girl who looks so much like a brown/black, long-haired, miniature version of her with a fairly similar personality.
Finally,a few nights ago, Emmy got up on the couch and cuddled with Sadie, and Sadie let her do it. Daisy got a photo:
This is a big step for Sadie and I am happy for her and proud of her -- it almost feels like she has now fully accepted Empress into the household and made her part of the tribe. And the fact that she chose Sadie over cuddling with Hank, her lover, speaks volumes about Emmy's intentionality here. Love me, big sister. Your sister died? I'm your sister now. Let's cuddle.
I also think while it's very sweet, it's also going to be tragic eventually. Sadie bonding with Emmy will be healing for her own soul, hopefully, but we already know that Sadie is likely on borrowed time and while there's nothing outwardly wrong with her making her sick right now, she could always take a turn at almost any moment, as she is the same age Maggie was (almost 17). As much as I love Sadie I don't think she'll last the year, which I've said before. She is old, frail, and very thin -- but she is also far more mobile than Maggie ever was, is a voracious eater (and shitter), will run and sometimes even play, and has no present problems with her digestive or urinary tracts that we know of. She's just older and slower than she used to be. And, if she bonds very strongly with Emmy, it's going to be devastating for that little girl when she goes, especially if she goes very suddenly.
I could be wrong, of course. We always thought Sadie would go before Maggie, and that didn't happen. Sadie may be one of those cats who lives until they're in their twenties, despite all odds and expectations.
But I doubt it.
To those ends, she and Emmy both have vet appointments for the first week of February. It will be Emmy's first appointment, where she gets on the records and gets her shots so we can register her, and for Sadie it will be for her own shots and a general checkup/bloodwork to see where we are in regards to her health and quality of life for here on out. I honestly expect that we'll be told that she's also in kidney failure (she is that age, after all) and that we have a clock running on how long she has left with us. If that's the case, it is what it is. Like Maggie, it's sad but not, and wasn't, completely unexpected. Daisy thinks Sadie could be diabetic, which would explain her weight loss and still-voracious appetite, and truthfully that's possible, but we're going to see. I hold out hope that she's okay and just old.
"Not to be morbid," Daisy asked me last night, "but what if we get Sadie in to the vet and they're like her body is shutting down, she's going to die like they said about Maggie?"
"Then we let her go," I said, with a defeated shrug. "It will suck, it will hurt very much, but it is what it is. We can't stop it or solve for it. And we already know the end is coming for her sooner or later."
I hate thinking about this, but it is true. Sadie has also lived a very long, peaceful life filled with love and safety, with as much food or treats as she ever could have wanted. She has wanted for nothing, has always been my lovey little cuddle girl, and seems very happy and content the vast majority of the time. If and when it is her time to go, it will be her time to go and I have accepted it. I may hate it, but I have accepted it.
Pete has vet a checkup tonight too. There's nothing wrong with him, but the vets say after a certain age, he should be checked out every six months or so. We're going to inquire about getting him on a different anxiety medication (because oh, does he need it as he gets older, especially with two younger cats in the house and after the death of Maggie), but he's otherwise normal. I think in the week since Maggie passed, he's slowly started to calm down a little and get back to his mostly normal self. He's still anxious, but it does not seem to be as severe as before. He's even letting Emmy bond with him more than before. I'm hoping that means the entire household will be back to "normal" soon enough.
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