So, I mean, here we are, I guess.
I haven't written about November 5th here yet (or as I will call it moving forward, Black Tuesday) because I could not really put my thoughts down in writing about it.
Time and again this country has shown its true colors. Time and again this country has failed to stand up and fight for what is morally right, what is logically right, what is truly patriotic and would progress our people in the most rational and levelheaded ways.
Instead, they choose to rally behind a failed businessman with a spray tan, 34 felonies, multiple rape accusations, a bad comb-over, and former reality television host with dictatorial aspirations.
For a second time.
That above is, of course, the very short list too.
You know, after eight years of George W. Bush, when Obama was elected I began to regain hope and pride in my country again. A country that could elect a black man as president, a man who was truly presidential and likely overall the best and most stable president of my lifetime, I thought deserved and even warranted hope.
In 2016 when Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton were running for the Democratic nomination, I was thrilled -- two very progressive candidates, both with extensive political experience and with high hopes and big plans on what they could do for this country to propel it forward and make it the most respectable place in the world again -- were vying for my vote.
Then it started to go downhill quickly. The DNC did some rather sneaky shit (look it up if you don't believe me) that basically kicked Sanders out of the running and stopped him from being the nominee, and once Hillary became the nominee I was jaded by the process -- especially once her really inspiring campaigning basically stopped. And all of this happened during the rise of Donald Trump, out of a large sea of potential Republican candidates -- the most unlikely candidate of all of them who was never expected to actually win the GOP nomination. He was the exact antithesis of Clinton, even more so than he would be to his future opposing candidates in the other two elections he'd run in in 2020 and 2024. He became a novelty, a clown, a candidate those who weren't tied to the establishment were like "let's vote for him, how bad could he actually be?"
In the summer of 2015, Daisy and I visited her family in Nova Scotia for the first time. Her grandfather, who was still alive then, had a conversation with me at the dining room table -- just the two of us -- regarding the upcoming election the next year. I told him, and I quote, "he will run, and he will win, because Americans are fucking stupid."
A little over a year later, I was proven right.
A lot was said during and after the 2016 election that Hillary Clinton was an "unlikeable" or "untrustworthy" candidate. I voted for her not necessarily because I really wanted to, but because I wanted to vote against Donald Trump. I was a big fan of Bernie Sanders, and I believed the party did him dirty.
It made no difference.
In 2020, after a really strong initial campaign, Sanders once again dropped out. I voted for him in the Nebraska state primary, very proudly. By the time the votes were tallied he was already out of the race. In the actual election, of course, I voted for Joe Biden -- I wasn't incredibly enthusiastic about Biden, but he was, again, not Donald Trump. I was thrilled when he won.
And then January 6 happened, and then once Biden took over everything he really tried to do was stonewalled by Republicans, and then the student loan forgiveness stuff I've been waiting for to be pushed through for years got stonewalled and basically shut down, and every time I saw the man in an interview, on television, or during a State of the Union he looked older, more tired, and more defeated.
Then came the disastrous debate (which happened while we were on Prince Edward Island, actually, so I didn't get to see it), and a few weeks later he dropped out in favor of Kamala Harris taking the reins.
I must admit I wasn't a huge Kamala fan in 2020. But, the way she got Democrats to rally around her this summer and fall, the way she was able to unite everyone in the ways that mattered, the fact that she picked a VP candidate in Walz who everyone wanted to be the country's Dad -- all of that gave me some hope. In the days leading up to the election, I was actually really filled with hope, hope that maybe we'd be able to finally have our first female president, maybe we'd be able to pull ourselves up out of the nightmare of three Trump candidacies in a row and say goodbye to the orange goblin forever.
On election night I was soundly proven wrong, watching state by state by state fall to Trump one after another, all night long, while I only halfway paid attention to work. It was the third election night in a row I would spend at work, but watching the television more than focusing on my tasks.
Somewhere around 2am or so -- I honestly can't remember when as I had, by this time, entered into what I call a "fugue state of panic" -- it was called for Trump, and never changed. We would, again, be plunging into four years of darkness. None of the numbers made sense to me. None of the statistics were adding up. Nothing that had been a near-certainty was anymore.
For the past two weeks I've been in a low-level state of shock, I think. I want anyone who is outside the US and reading this to know that no matter how it may look from the outside, most of us do not want a second Trump presidency. Additionally, none of us in that group wanted the first one either. We are a global embarrassment. I am deeply disappointed in the other half of my country, and disgusted by them. This is not the America I want, not the America I want to be proud of -- not the America I grew up in. You can say a lot of things about Reagan and Bush Sr. and Dubya, but none of them were insane. They were respectful, rational human beings who were not assholes, and they were not felons -- all of them were immensely qualified for leadership in many ways.
The entire system though is problematic. It's dismaying. But, oh well, who knows whether it will even exist in four years? Who knows what rights will be stripped away and what darkness we will face moving forward as we slowly further slide towards a fascist dictatorship.
"But Brandon," you may be saying, "do you really believe things will get that bad?"
I honestly don't know. I can't be certain of anything anymore. And I think that's where this sense of impending doom, this dread, this constant anxiety is coming from -- nothing makes sense anymore. It all feels like a sick joke.
Things I am almost 100% sure of? World War III will start within the next year or two. Prices on everything will rise because of tariffs. Millions of people will lose their jobs. "Political enemies" of the administration will be taken out in not-so-subtle ways. There will be food shortages, supply chain breakdowns, and major infrastructure issues. People will lose their homes. People will lose their healthcare. People will not be able to afford gasoline or prescription drugs to take care of their long-running medical conditions. The state will try to force religion and religious values on everyone for everything. It's going to suck very much to be an American.
For the first time, I have seriously been considering other options for relocation and employment in another country. I know it's weighing heavy on Daisy's mind too. However, we can't really do that and leave her parents behind here. I've floated the idea of doing it just for the next four years -- putting the bulk of our actual stuff in storage and just finding four years' worth of temporary work somewhere -- and then coming back, but that seems even less feasible. Also, it's not like you can just up and leave immediately, with five cats, to live in Europe somewhere -- that is so very much harder than it sounds, and requires a lot of money.
So what do we do? I honestly don't know. It's really hard for me to shake the feelings of impending doom I have. Daisy feels much the same way. Do we just march on in silent resistance? Do we just detach from everything regarding news and politics for the next four years and bury ourselves in work and hobbies? Do we stand up and fight what we already know is an absolutely losing battle? I have no idea.
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