We had the TV installed and mounted yesterday morning. It is big. It is stupid big for our bedroom. The antenna arrives for it on Tuesday. All of the streaming services are already hooked up to it and working.
The dentist appointments were cancelled. Daisy couldn't get off work, and honestly I didn't want to go anyway. We have follow-up appointments in March, and should be fine until then.
Gas is almost $5 a gallon here in Omaha. Diesel is almost $7. I have never seen prices like this -- not even during the recession years of 2007-09.
Truckers are allegedly planning a massive strike starting around October 1 if fuel prices don't go back down. I'm debating on whether I should order a bunch of extra meds from my prescription site before then just in case.
Daisy is dropping weight like a stone on the Mounjaro and is no longer testing as diabetic when it comes to her blood sugars and A1C. I am the exact opposite -- I have somehow, almost inexplicably, gained 20 pounds in the past six months and my A1C has increased since my last doctor's visit in June. My diet and lifestyle have not changed -- the only thing that has really changed over the summer is that I quit vaping.
I an really frustrated and frazzled in general. It feels like my body is in revolt. I went from being able to get good, satisfying sleep to now only being able to get 3-4 hours at a time again. I went from feeling great physically and noticing a difference in how I looked because I'd steadily been dropping weight to, all of a sudden, gaining a lot of it back and my diabetes numbers once more getting out of whack. This also does not bode well going into the holidays, where there are three big meal days in a row coming up (Canadian Thanksgiving, American Thanksgiving, and Christmas).
We're only a few weeks out from Canadian Thanksgiving, and it is wild that it's been almost a year since we were in Canada last fall and celebrated it (a day or two early, but together nonetheless) with the family up there and went to Daisy's cousin's wedding. It does not feel like it's been a year at all.
But then I remind myself that a year ago at this time, Pete still had almost three months left to live and Dolly hadn't even been born yet -- and it feels like a decade has passed.
Three months from today is my 44th birthday.
My cousin announced last week that his third book is coming out soon.
I sometimes wonder if I've awakened in some sort of parody universe -- where everything is skewed and slightly or (at times) greatly different than what I believe it "should" be. Some people have some interesting coping mechanisms for what this world has become and is becoming. For example, a close friend of mine once told me that he does a watchthrough of The West Wing every 18 months or so just to be reminded what a functioning, idealistic (but also, realistic) government is supposed to look and act like, and...I can't fault him for that. When I messaged him a few years back that Daisy and I were doing the same, he lauded me for it.
I just try to drown out the noise on everything I can. It's the equivalent of just putting my head down and waiting it out, the equivalent of zipping the sleeping bag closed over one's head to conserve as much body heat as possible throughout the dark, freezing night.
There's a lot of emotions and feelings I just can't shake these days. I wouldn't say I'm depressed (believe me, I know what that feels like) but it feels like everything is a struggle. I am motivated to do nothing, I have no ambition or drive to succeed anymore, and I just want to...keep myself busy with unimportant nonsense, I guess.
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