Humbugs

Nine hours, forty-nine minutes until Christmas

Yes, that is my normal face when I'm forced to deal with a cat who will not get off my lap. Merry Christmas, folks. Or Merry-whatever-the-hell-you-celebrate.

I just realized a few minutes ago that this will be the first year since I've kept this blog that I won't be able to make the list of things I received in my "haul of presents," because, nurrr, this year I won't get anything from anyone -- and all of you already know everything I've gotten from friends and family this past week, because I've already told you. I'm in no way discounting that, of course -- I also don't get to list the presents I've purchased for anyone, because, well, I haven't done that this year.

No, none of this is necessarily sad. Seriously. I'm not depressed, folks. It's just interesting to think about, that's all. It may sound sad to some of you, but eh. I'm okay. Christmas, as I've said before, is really just another day to me. When I get up in the morning (or more likely, afternoon) it'll be no different than any other day of the year. I'll still make coffee, feed the cats, smoke a few, take a morning shit, etc. Nothing will be any different to me except the date on the calendar.

I'm not sure I mentioned it here before (I probably didn't) but my Middle Eastern/Asian Lit professor, during the week before finals, invited me to his house for Christmas dinner with his wife and his son, who is currently in town for the holidays. I'm sure I'm the only one he's extended this invitation to, and I'm also fairly sure that at this point, he's forgotten about it (he said he'd call beforehand to ask me if I still wanted to come, and he hasn't done so yet). Ironically, as much as I'd love to go, I do not have enough gas in the car to make it down there and back, and certainly don't have the money to fill up the tank right now.

Okay, so if the presents thing wasn't depressing, I will admit that this certainly is.

To a certain extent I do hope he has forgotten about inviting me to dinner -- I don't want to disappoint him by being unable to attend. Since I became a graduate student here at Flat State University, I have had two different, high-level graduate literature classes with the man, and he is by far one of the most fascinating and intelligent people I've ever met. He originally invited me because he knows me fairly well at this point, and knows that since I'm now single, I didn't have anywhere to go for Christmas. As much as I would love to pick that man's brain over a few glasses of wine and some turkey, it would still be incredibly awkward. I've only met his wife twice, even, and have never met his son, etc. It would be sort of weird circumstances. I'd sort of feel like a mooch, I'd feel I were imposing, etc. Those sorts of things.

The most accomplished thing I've done all day is get up early enough to watch Saturday morning cartoons, and finished the first season of Arrested Development so I can move on to the second. I also took sinus/pain pills because I'm pretty sure I'm beginning to develop a sinus/ear infection, and need to nip that shit in the bud right now. Being poor over break is one thing. Being sick over break is one thing. Being poor and sick over the break would just suck.

I did get a few good surprises today; my friend Kristen, who I went to high school with, sent me a very sweet card and a bowl of homemade hardtack candy for Christmas, which was very nice of her and incredibly thoughtful. I also got my normal, yearly $75 check from my godfather, which he always sends for my birthday/Christmas and has always done so since I was a child. I was afraid I wasn't going to get one this year, which I told my mother would have been bad because, of all years, this is one of the years I need that money the most. That $75 will give me the ability to buy more groceries in my "hang time" between my bills being paid, my next (and final) paycheck for this past semester, and my student loan disbursement. Or pay my credit card bill, whichever comes first. Amusingly enough, I have about $75 on the card right now. Pretty close, anyway.

I also got the Lindsay Lohan issue of Playboy in the mail today, and that is enough of a Christmas present to keep me quite happy. Ho ho ho indeed.

Hm, well, what else is going on?

I did make my Walmart trip yesterday morning, arriving there around 6AM or so. I have found this is the best time to shop at Walmart, holiday season or otherwise, as there is nobody in the store, and it's after the night stocking crew has finished (they're always moving their pallets of empty boxes back into the back room around that time, as they're done). I got stuck in line behind a beautiful 40-year-old or so woman, who apologized profusely to me because she had so many items.

"Don't worry about it," I told her, smiling warmly. "I'm here at 6AM on a Friday morning. Believe me, I have time."

I believe the purchases on the conveyor belt were probably some of the most depression-inducing ones yet -- one large bag of cat food, and three little ones (for the girls). One large tub of cat litter. One $2.99, single-serving pack of small grilling steaks (for my Christmas dinner). One pack of Oscar Mayer roast beef, for sandwiches, and a pack of provolone cheese to go along with it. One pack of bologna, thick sliced. One box of tissues. One box of Suphedrine PE sinus pills. A can of salt, a 5lb bag of sugar, a small bottle each of onion powder and garlic powder. A pound of butter, in sticks. A bottle of Almond Joy coffee creamer. As she scanned it all, the working-holiday-hours-only cashier gave me a questionable you're not really this sad and alone, are you? sort of look, especially when scanning the cat food and litter juxtaposed with the rest of my purchases.

I felt compelled to tell her that yes, yes I was. But I didn't. I did, however, defend the cat food purchases by telling her I wasn't letting them run out over Christmas, 'cause there was no way I was coming back out to shop over the course of the next three days or so.

She just gave me the arched-eyebrows, okay mr. sad man sort of nod.

When I returned home, I put the car in the garage, where it has remained. It's been bitingly cold in the mornings and overnight hours; no reason to let it sit outside in the cold for no reason. I'm not planning on going anywhere for a few days, after all. I've still got a rent check to write, which means the only money I'll be spending aside from that for the next week or so will be for absolute necessities only, if that. The car goes have about another 30 miles or so to go before I need gas again.

Oh, I forgot to mention before that I got approved for a second credit card, which should be arriving in the mail over the course of the next week or so. It has a $500 limit, and I applied for it specifically for emergency circumstances. It has a low interest rate, and 0% interest until September 2013, so that's good. In the case I may need to use it if something major blows up on the car, I'll be able to pay it off in installments. That's good too. The Amazon card I already have, conversely, will mostly be used for small-purchase things, such as gas, fast food, etc., in order to build good credit. The objective here is to build myself a bit of a safety net. If shit goes really wrong (like the aforementioned car blowing an expensive part), I'll at least be able to save myself temporarily with these cards until I can amass enough money to pay them off. I'm not the kind of guy who's like "Credit cards? Wooooo, shopping spree!"

Because I'm not stupid. For the record.

On that note, I'm getting off here. I think I'll wander out to the living room, snuggle with the kitties, and possibly fall asleep watching football on the couch.