Eaten Alive

Spring semester: day eighty-three
Finals week: day five

Stress and other issues are slowly eating me alive. There's so much to do and so little time to do it, and all of you know how much that overwhelms me.

Yes, I'm keeping it together. Barely. It's a process.

Part of it is that I'm so frazzled and tired, and have no real "break" where there's nothing to be done. Even once I get to Omaha and get everything unpacked and unloaded, and get everything set up in the new place, I still have to go about signing off on the lease, we have to get our marriage license (eventually), I have to figure out how to register my car in Nebraska and get a Nebraska license, and then there's the wedding and job-searching and everything else that absolutely must be dealt with ASAFP, one thing after another.

And I sit here in my gutted room on the computer, after almost everything but my daily pocket/on-my-person stuff (keys, wallet, sunglasses, etc) has been boxed away, a big ball of stress and mess. It's simple fatigue and dread, along with stress and nervousness. A night's sleep does wonders, but right now I'm such a ball of nerves that it's so hard not to be twitchy or apprehensive about every little thing in the world, every little thing that can and/or will pop up to throw a wrench into our very specific, timed plans for the move and for everything afterwards.

I mentioned before that on Saturday night -- that's two nights from now -- I'm driving the Monte Carlo up to Omaha in the overnight hours to drop it off there before we come back down here in Daisy's car the next day after we both sleep and ready ourselves for the move itself. While I have gotten my, ahem, "maintenance fluids" such as new oil and coolant to put into the car to keep it in the best shape I can before that drive, I am also apprehensive about its ability to make said drive -- that's why I'm doing it in the overnight hours when it's not hot and there's no sun beating down on me. No traffic, much less of a danger of overheating, and nothing but me and the wide-open road for five and a half hours. Yeah, well, I can prepare all I want, but if that car blows a major part or otherwise breaks down during that trip, I'm well and truly fucked -- about 80% of the trip is through wide-open fields and countryside, and for a large portion of it I'm in a cell-phone dead zone where if something happens, I am absolutely truly stranded out there. In the middle of the night. With nobody around.

Am I confident the car can make it? Yes, mostly. Checking the weather, it should be ideal driving conditions, and with a full tank of gas, I should only have to get gas once (my car only gets about 20-22 mpg on a good day, which it should easily get on what amounts to a straight-stretch, continuous highway drive for a long time at night). It is almost exactly 300 miles between here and there, and while I don't necessarily have to, I always fill up my car around the 200 point on my trip meter as the gas gauge is a little wonky at times. As long as my old girl doesn't get too hot, everything should be fine.

As an aside, after working just fine for two years, my radio randomly no longer works in the car. It'll come on and display the graphic equalizer stuff normally, but no sound will come out of the speakers whatsoever -- no matter what I do to try to tweak its settings and the like. It looks like my drive will be a silent one. I'll probably put my earbuds in and listen to podcasts just to be able to stay awake. I never have a problem staying awake and alert while driving, but doing it for five and a half hours with nothing to entertain me will make the drive seem so much longer than it actually is. If I can time everything right, I will arrive there in Omaha when Daisy gets off work for the night around 5AM, and then we can just go to bed. It's also the best night to do it -- it's not like I'll have to fight rush hour traffic for the last ten miles or so of the trip at 5AM on a Sunday morning. Luckily, even though Omaha is a goddamn confusing city to drive into, I have my GPS to get me through those last ten miles or so. If nothing else, it will be a small adventure.

The cats are at least vaguely aware that something's going on, as is evidenced by their investigation of boxes and moved furniture in new places in the house. I sprayed down my end tables with Pledge and polished them last night, and after I did so, I moved them to the living room -- which was new to them. I still have to move my bookcase out of here and do the same thing to it, as well as the bookcase/coffee table/shelves in the living room.

The Newton trash people, after I made my large item pickup appointment for Monday, called to bitch at me and left a three-minute voicemail detailing that they need to know exactly what they're picking up, instead of me saying "some furniture and other odds and ends." Fuck you people; bring the truck and haul away whatever's there. I shouldn't have to give them a detailed, itemized list of everything. Apparently there's a "five item limit." Okay, well, I went back in and made another appointment (as I was told to do) and listed five items -- two couches, two chairs, and a metal recycling bin (which Daisy says we don't have room for). In reality I'm going to put everything out there I have, whether it goes over five items or not, and they'll either take it or they won't -- I don't give a shit, to be honest with you, as the next day I'm gone from this town for good and the trash service leaves my name.

I'm not generally an asshole about this sort of thing, but seriously, if there's something out there and I've called for a large item pickup, just take it. Don't ask me to describe everything or give you a list. I've paid the water and trash service here a fuckton of money over the years -- much more than I've ever paid living anywhere else for water and trash service, and I've never called for a large item pickup before -- just fucking take it.

In other news, after some crowdsourcing and finagling, I found the wedding present I wanted to get for Daisy. She said she got me something too, though it's sort of unnecessary (I mean, our presents to each other are supposed to be, well, the fact that we gain our other half in the wedding, right?), but I had an idea several days ago and went about putting it into action -- there was a certain item I was looking for, and it's something she'll never expect or see coming. This afternoon I found someone with said item, offered them money for it, and they accepted -- it gets mailed tomorrow, and I've already mailed said money to them for payment. I even gave them an extra $5 to help cover mailing costs. It was a little more than I wanted to spend, but...provided everything works out, she'll love it.

All of the bills I have now are paid for the month; I'll get my last utility bills once I move to Omaha, and once I pay them I'll have a lull where I won't have to personally pay utilities (out of my own bank account, anyway) for a month or so. I get my last paycheck of the semester a week from tomorrow. All of my credit card addresses have been changed, all of my addresses for everything but Amazon and my car insurance have been changed (I can't change my car insurance address until I register the car in Nebraska, and there's no reason to delete/change my addresses on Amazon until I have to order something else). This means that almost ALL of my "administrative" stuff regarding the move is now done. I even filled out the post office's change of address card, which takes effect on Wednesday (the day after I leave here) for seamless mail transition.