Progression, Part V

 

On a good night, when I'm not too distracted or too tired, I can generally write five or six pages of good, solid work. This tends to take several hours, and on the next readthrough I'll catch an error here or there, or slightly rework a section of the piece I've been working on. 

The above is the current story I'm working on. I'm guessing it will take another 2-3 pages to complete, then another hour or three to edit, before I can call it done or "locked."

It feels like I'm not accomplishing that much in my writing work, but the truth is, I am. I just can't be turned on and creative at all times. The vast majority of my weekends, when I do the most writing, are spent doing non-writing activities -- house work, social obligations, shopping, etc. Sometimes I just want some downtime too, where I do nothing but play a video game or watch YouTube for a few hours. Sometimes I want to spend some time with my wife joined at the hip with her, going on adventures. Sometimes I just want to be me, not the writer me.

I find myself preoccupied with everything that has to go right for this book to get published, get off the ground, get on store shelves before I can actually feel accomplished or justified in all the work I'm doing on it. It's not a small amount of work, and it's not a work that most people would actually classify as work. It's difficult to, shall we say, keep a story straight in one's head when coming back to write it in multiple sessions, editing through it to make sure there aren't any inconsistencies, and then actually getting it to not only where you want it to go, but where the story needs to go in a narrative fashion.

I purchased a new keyboard a few weeks ago -- the $5 keyboard that came with this PC was beginning to have keys stick or become non-functional, so I splurged and spent nine dollars on a replacement. It'll do just fine until I have the money or the wherewithal to purchase another good, mechanical keyboard that won't break down or deteriorate on me over the course of a few months. I am looking forward to that, honestly. I am apparently too rough on my keys and they get a lot of use, probably more than the keyboard for my work computer (which, arguably, could stand to be replaced eventually as well). 

I'm still on track (hopefully) to have the book completed and ready to lock by the end of the year, and if I'm lucky, have it on shelves by first quarter 2023. There are a lot of steps to that process, as I alluded to above, and there will likely be major delays here and there. I just want to get the book done and out there, and let the work speak for itself. I have so many good stories still in me, stories waiting to be put on the page and read -- but I psychologically need the confidence a book release will give me before I can feel like yes, I can devote the time and energy to putting them on the page. It's all a fantasy until I see that paperback on the shelf and can feel it in my hands.