(written during early June and into the early part of July, so bear with me)
There's not a lot I feel that I need to document in detail anymore -- life moves fast and things that are pain points or are feel-good stories tend to pass quickly, replaced with the next item on the agenda. However, I always make it a point to document the trips we take -- whether that's to visit my parents, have a weekend jaunt to Chicago, or as it is becoming a yearly thing now -- to the Great White North of Canada.
I've never been a "travel" person, really. I've always considered myself a homebody. But, you do know if you've been following me here for some time, Canada feels like a second home to me. When I'm there, it feels like it's where I'm meant to be -- in little towns along the ocean with coves and fishing boats, quarries and harbors (sorry, harbours), where the internet is slow, not every TV is a flatscreen, there are still landline phones, and everything feels like it's still 1991.
I love it. I love every bit of it. It is a real detachment for me from the stresses of my day-to-day job working as a manager-contractor for one of the biggest telecommunications companies in the world. I logout, I disconnect, and...the world just stops when I'm in Canada. I'm surrounded by family, I am able to unwind and be comatose (relatively speaking) if I want to, and I can breathe the sea air -- air that is like nowhere else on the planet.
But there's always something.
I should backtrack a bit before I go any further, really -- and the story really starts shortly after we returned home from visiting my parents in North Carolina last fall. It was shortly after that where Daisy and her mother began making plans for another trip to Canada this summer. I was fine with it; at that juncture it was almost a year away -- I wasn't worried about accruing enough PTO and didn't particularly care what was set up for it at the time. We'd originally planned to go in August, the second half of the month (roughly) that leads into Labor Day at the beginning of September, just to get the best weather and have it not be so blazing hot.
We'd been to Canada in August before -- our first trip up there, with the parents in 2015, was during that time. The family had told us at the time we "brought the heat with us from Omaha," as almost as soon as we arrived Nova Scotia got a heat wave where it was in the 80s-90s every day and would alter between wild heat and heavy thunderstorms the entire time we were there, sometimes in the span of an hour or two (very small province surrounded by ocean, so, that's sort of how it goes).
Our second trip up there in 2022 was also in August -- when Daisy's grandfather died. It was also hot and rainy for a good chunk of that trip.
Our third trip was last year and we went in mid-May -- that ended up being a rather precarious time weather-wise because in May, Canada is just thawing out from winter. Daisy's uncle remarked when he saw us wearing shorts and sandals that "you know we just put away our snowblowers like two weeks ago, right?" And that was true. They'd gotten significant snow up there all the way through April and the province was just finishing its thaw with the last of the snow having melted a week or two before we arrived. Traveling up there in May is not something I'd want to do again unless Nova Scotia is having a significant heat wave at the time, as when we were there most of the time the temperatures struggled to hit 60 degrees, and it was at or below freezing every night and morning -- in mid to late May. The seasons had changed in Omaha a month before that, and my allergies had acclimated appropriately. Well, once we set foot on Canadian soil, into a country that was just then experiencing the real change of the seasons, those allergies came back. I don't know how many headaches and nosebleeds I had while there, sometimes (especially for the nosebleeds) completely out of the blue and particularly violent. There were beautiful beach pictures taken of Daisy and me -- but what you can't tell in those pictures is that it was 45 degrees and windy when they were taken.
So yeah, August was fine with me.
As I recall, and my memory may fail me, the trip was set in late September for the following August. And I mean set-set -- as in tickets were ordered for me, Mom, and Daisy; Dad had chosen to remain home and take care of the garden and the cats.
Over the course of the following months, plans would change -- a lot.
You should know if you've read my stuff here long enough that I am not a fan of change -- I set my mind to something or I make plans and I stick to them, without deviation of any sort where and when possible. Change causes me stress and massive anxiety.
Well, over the course of the next few months, our flights would be changed -- numerous times. Sometimes by the airlines making a small or large correction. The plans for the trip ballooned to include Daisy's two sisters and their families traveling up there at the same time (not with us, but all of them coming as well). The trip's timeframe was officially changed from late August to mid-June. There was even a time where Daisy wanted to change the flights to have us fly out from Kansas City -- some 4-5 hours away -- and then drive up to Nova Scotia from Boston. Both Mom and I absolutely shut down the Kansas City/Boston idea; the last thing either of us wanted to do was drive for four hours before we actually go anywhere, get on a plane and off again and then drive another sixteen hours to get where we're going -- and then, when we finally get back on the ground in the states to drive another four hours to get back to Omaha. Like fuck that, fuck every bit of that. Especially on the way back home -- when I step off the plane, I like knowing that I'm 10-15 minutes, depending on traffic, from my house and my cats -- and that my trip is over.
Eventually -- eventually -- it was settled that we'd fly out of Omaha into Atlanta, Atlanta to Toronto, and from Toronto into Halifax...and the trip home would be Halifax to LaGuardia in NYC, and then from LaGuardia to Omaha. The trip would be in the last two weeks of June, from the 14th to the 29th. Mom would be staying in the family home and we would be in an AirBNB house owned by family friends (almost everyone in the town are "family friends" as there are only 300 people in the town) legit two minutes away -- walking distance if/as necessary. Daisy's oldest sister, her husband, and their four boys (the Denver family) would not be making the trip due to finances and the children's activity schedules. Daisy's middle sister, her husband, and their five kids would be making the trip but would be coming in a week later than us, driving up from where they currently live outside of Pittsburgh. Provisions were added to the trip to spend two days on Prince Edward Island at the end of our journey before coming home, to do some sightseeing and so I could actually see Green Gables in person. Daisy also made sure -- well in advance -- that our car rental this time around would be another Spaceship Van, a Chrysler Pacifica or similar, so that we could easily haul luggage and transport Mom.
All of these changes were...stressful to me. Bumping the trip up from August to June essentially meant that I could take zero extra time off work from Christmas to June, as I would need every single hour, every single minute, of accrued PTO to apply to a two-week trip. Now, I can tell you that my boss 100% does not care if I have all of that time submitted and on the books -- I am salaried and get paid the same every check no matter what anyway -- he is fed up with the company, just had a new baby, and doesn't care as long as he's made aware of when I'll be out -- but I am a man of honor and I dutifully submitted it. Well, what I had, anyway. The last two days of it I will have to put in once I return to work as I had two paychecks where more PTO rolled over while I was in Canada. I did this because I don't ever want to be accused of any sort of impropriety in that job; everything for me is always "on the books" and fully transparent to my leadership and my team.
Bumping up the trip also meant that I had to make sure my finances were in order and bills were paid earlier than expected, and changed what kind of clothing I would pack -- heavier stuff for cooler/rainier early summer days and nights versus lighter, full-on summer clothing for August. I started packing my suitcase and backpack quite early -- like, early May -- and revised what I packed multiple times from that day all the way up to the day before we left on the trip. I would remove something, add something else, remove two things and add three others, etc. June is a wildcard for whatever weather we could experience there -- it could rain every day and be in the 50s-60s or it could be 85 and sunny every day...or both in the same day. I mentioned in previous posts that I flirted with purchasing a somewhat-inexpensive Amazon Fire tablet for entertainment purposes, or taking my laptop -- neither of which I wanted to do, really. Instead, I packed several books I've been meaning to read, two notebooks for writing, and a fresh pack of Pilot liquid ink pens. I packed five disposable vapes new and unopened, as well as a new stick vape all-in-one device that uses my actual liquid and coils, also still in the sealed/unopened box. I packed a toiletry/cosmetics stuff bag (an old camera carrying case) and loaded it for every possible scenario -- also so I had to buy as little as possible while I'm there -- including a bar of good soap, a shampoo bar, my tattoo balm, Q-tips, flossers, two new travel toothpastes, a new toothbrush, wet wipes, glasses wipes, a new stick of powder deodorant, laundry detergent sheets and dryer sheets, a small bottle of Lush "Dirty" (Daisy's favorite scent on me), sinus and pain pills, other various OTC pills and products, etc -- I'm sure you get the idea. The overall goal was to purchase as few personal items as possible while up there and to focus my money on food, gas, and experiences.
I made a checklist for myself of things to do before we left, on my computer. I got them all done. After I did that, the last night I worked before the trip I used a notepad at my desk and wrote a three page list of other things I hadn't thought of that needed to be done before we left -- both items I would take care of (mowing the grass, washing all of the cat bowls/fountain, charging batteries, dumping the trash/recycling, etc) as well as stuff that I knew needed to be done but Daisy wouldn't necessarily think of offhand. Some of those things were things that I actually knew she would think of but for my own anxiety and sanity I needed to remind her to do them, such as make sure all of the security cameras are set up and functional, change the filter in the furnace closet, make sure all the doors and windows are securely locked, etc. I even took the initiative to put the mail on hold until we return and to make sure the cats would have enough treats until we returned (they likely won't, but they can deal with it). We were originally going to have one of Daisy's work friends come over every day to take care of the cats and only have Dad stop by once every 3-4 days, but that plan fell through, so we just made sure Dad -- who is old but is happy to help as much as he can -- knew where everything was and how to distribute the foods and treats, made sure he had an ample supply of litter to change out the pans, etc. It was what we could do.
Finally, I made sure to remove my debit card from my wallet (it would not have been used in Canada anyway), leave my keys at home in the event Dad needs to use them to get the car out of the garage or in the event something happens to his own keys, and put the cash I earned from selling off all my around-the-house stuff in my wallet so it could be exchanged. The last things I packed were my last two sticks of Trulicity, as I would use both of them during the trip, shortly before leaving the house.
I did not know what to expect for the actual trip. I originally wanted the trip to just be a true vacation for Daisy and me -- because boy have we earned it this year -- but Daisy wanted to include Mom as well. I had no problem with that. Unlike the stereotype, I adore my mother-in-law. She is a wonderful, patient person with an absolute biting sense of humor that rivals or can at times be darker than my own, and she also adores me -- it is unspoken but is very clear I am the favorite of her three sons-in-law. I'm a bit biased there of course, but I am also here in town and see her roughly once a week when the other two live in other states and are only in town 3-4 times a year at most, combined. So no, I didn't mind Mom. It was very important to her to see her own mother again -- her own mother who turns 91 in a few months -- and it's also unspoken that this may be the last time she sees her alive.
However, when they started brainstorming ways to bring in the entire rest of the family of Daisy's sisters, their husbands, and their total of nine kids all to arrive at the same time, my interest and desire to go on this trip dropped like a stone. Being surrounded by everyone at all times, including all of the children, is not a vacation for me. I love them all dearly, but it sounds, frankly, like torture. A vacation to me is peace and quiet, the ability to relax, read, write, and sleep when I want to, to explore and take day trips to different places like the beach or to one of the Nova Scotian towns I haven't seen yet, and to see and spend time with the family members who come into town from other parts of the country to see and interact with us while we're there. It's so difficult for me to disconnect and unwind -- I am naturally a high-stress, high-anxiety person and that's only gotten worse in recent years. I am big on silence and being left alone when I'm overwhelmed, and there would be no silence or being left alone were all of the family and the children along for the ride.
But I couldn't just opt out and not go -- for one, the tickets were not refundable or changeable after a certain point. If I or we did not go, we were out that money whether we were there or not, and there was no way to get it back. When I later (and by "later" I mean "mid-May") learned that Daisy's oldest sister and family weren't going and that her other sister and family would be coming up a full week after we got there, I breathed a long sigh of relief. Again, I love them all but I needed an actual vacation. It would be hard enough to disconnect and to be away from the cats for me as it was; I didn't need more stress thrown in there as well. Add to this that right around the end of the month and going into June, Daisy's sister who would be coming on the trip got Covid...along with her husband and likely the kids as well. So, there was a long stretch of time where she did not even know if they were going to be able to make the trip at all.
Anyway.
Finally, on the overnight of the 13th into the 14th, Dad arrived at our house around 2:30 in the morning (for our 5:45 flight) with Mom in tow; we loaded our stuff into the parents' SUV, made sure the kitties had all the food and treats, water and clean litter and got extra love, and locked up/left.
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