Today is Valentine's Day 2026.
Thirteen years ago today, in the kitchen of my little rundown rented house in Newton, Kansas, I proposed to Daisy. We'd been together for about eight months and officially together (yeah, there's a difference) for about four. She accepted, of course, and let her close friends and family know that night. I did not tell my parents or close friends, personally, until the next day.
Thirteen years later, we've been married for almost twelve years, and live in our home in Omaha -- that we own -- with our six cats. Both of us have good, stable jobs, bills are paid, we are happy, and neither of us would say that we wish we were married to anyone else. In fact, I frequently say that marrying Daisy was the best decision of my life -- and it was, by a long shot.
Because I proposed on Valentine's Day, it has always been special for us since we've been together. However, for many years it was a dark day for me. Whenever I was younger and far less mature, I used to call it "Black [insert day of the week here]" because, when I was single, the day felt like an attack. I could not be happy for other people or celebrate platonic love between friends or any of that. I was also surrounded by a lot of other immature people well into my 30s, people who would call it "Singles Awareness Day" or something along those lines.
The irony and reflection here is staggering, as in my adult life -- meaning, since I turned 18 -- I have only been single a handful of times for short periods. I am 43 years old now, and since 18 I have really only been single for approximately seven years of that time, mostly from 18 to 23 or so. It's wild to think about how bitter I was back during my single years, and how I thought that having a partner would somehow complete me as a person or "fix" that bitterness. I was incorrect, and that was one of my major personality flaws when I was younger -- the thought that someone else could somehow fix me or save me.
Yes, I used to have the "I can fix her" or "I can change her" flaw as well, not to leave that out. I was wrong there too, multiple times. With age comes wisdom.
Daisy didn't "fix" me. I matured, I evolved, I became a better and more stable person because I wanted to become that person for me and for us.
Yesterday, to get out of the house and, per Daisy, "feel like a human again" we went hiking over in Iowa. I was very low-energy all day, but I pushed through that and ended up very much enjoying our hike and our day together. It was, essentially, our Valentine's Day present to each other -- getting out into nature and just being us, together.
That is the majority of what our relationship is, even all these years later -- just us, together.
Daisy has told me many times that Valentine's Day is her favorite holiday. I don't necessarily understand why, and I have never really questioned it -- it was her favorite holiday long before I was in the picture, so her reasoning for it doesn't really matter to me. We always try to do something sweet for one another, but it's never really been a gift-giving holiday for us or anything like that. It's an anniversary of sorts, but neither of us really treat it that way. I don't expect any grand gestures from Daisy on Valentine's Day, nor does she from me -- anything that would "prove our love" for the other person. That's fluff, that's superficial. We prove our love for one another every day in all the little (and sometimes big) things we do.
I've always wanted to get her this bear, though:
Maybe next year.
We have no real plans for the day other than to likely see the parents this morning and then have dinner together this evening. Daisy mentioned that she wanted to bake banana bread, but that's about it. This is, essentially, another Saturday for us. Daisy and I both return to work tomorrow, and I'm covering the Presidents' Day holiday weekend Sunday/Monday overnight shifts -- because, yes, my new company considers those paid holidays the teams get off. We're at normal staffing for them because none of our overnight folks care, and because they'd like to get the eight hours paid plus their normal wages -- when you work overnights you want all the extra money you can get.
I don't get anything extra, of course; I am salaried. If I am lucky I will see if I can get Wednesday night off as my "comp day" for working the holiday, and thus can extend my weekend. This would be nice, as I have yet another dentist appointment on Friday that I am dreading.
Anyway.
Dolly has fully settled into the house and has really bonded with the boys. She likes to cuddle and play with Charlie and Gary, and I'm pretty sure Gary is in love with the little girl. She is comfortable around everyone and while she'll still jump and hiss if one of the other cats spooks her, she is no longer frightened of any of them, nor are they of her. I've watched Hank and Emmy playing with her, even. She likes Mable and wants to spend time with Mable, but Mable won't cuddle her or mother her, really. Mable is patient with her but won't even really play with her -- Dolly is high-energy, and Mable is really, well, not. Not since her hip surgery, anyway.
She plays hard with Charlie, but also loves him so much -- and the feeling is mutual:
Dolly sleeps with us at night most of the time if we're in bed together; she did not last night, interestingly enough, but usually she sleeps between our pillows so she can be there and feel safe with both of us. Mable, who was always a mama's girl, has taken to spending a lot more time with me, and when I am in bed will find me and sleep on my legs most of the time. If I take a nap in my chair and she's in the room, she'll lay on the ottoman with me as my protector.
All of this, from both of them -- it is very Pete-like behavior. Also, the way that Charlie loves us and purrs really hard and wants to be held is very Maggie-like behavior.
"Did you ever think," I asked Daisy, "that our new cats would end up being a girl Pete and a boy Maggie?"
"You have a Sadie too," Daisy said, referencing Empress -- who is, at times, very Sadie-like. Probably why the two of them got along so well when Sadie was still with us:
I'd also like to add here that Gary has become very loyal to me, to the point where Daisy has conceded that he is absolutely a daddy's boy. And he is; always has been, really. He loves Daisy a lot, but he always wants to be around me and wants to know where I am, keep me in his sights, etc. When I'm sitting on the couch or working at night, he's always there next to me.
Anyway.
We still don't know what's in Dolly's DNA; the results are not back yet. They likely won't be back until after we're home from North Carolina. It takes them quite a while. As mentioned, I am expecting a very high percentage of Maine Coon, based on her looks, personality and talkativeness (Dolly is a talker, big time -- she is very vocal), as well as her rapidly-increasing size. However, any other breeds she may have in her bloodstream is at the moment a mystery to us.
Preparations for the North Carolina trip continue, slowly. I'm basically fully-packed as is and could jump on the plane tomorrow. There's not a lot I need for such a trip, honestly. My concern, like most other trips, is using money that isn't put on our cards for most expenses. To those ends, I have pulled out cash after almost every grocery purchase and have a nice wad to use while there, and one of my cards was racking up rewards points I didn't know about -- enough to get us a $100 Walmart gift card for free. So, that arrives sometime next week.
As mentioned, I'm going to pre-ship some stuff down to NC from Amazon before we leave, to save the need of purchasing it there or lugging it up my parents' massive staircase once we are there. Part of it is that I also want to "bring" some stuff for the parents and the dogs and that's just the easiest way to do it. We're not there over their birthdays or the holidays, so doing something like this is special to me.
So that's where things stand now. We'll see how everything slowly progresses.
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