The vast majority of the snow has all melted now, as temperatures have been up in the 40s and 50s (and brushing with 60) this week. There's not a lot that was really heavily affected by the snowstorm for more than a day or two at most, and thankfully those were end-of-week days.
I have an eye appointment at the end of March to get my prescription checked and updated. I'll likely get new lenses put in at least two pairs of my older, more premium frames, and then get another swath of new glasses from my normal glasses website a few days/weeks later. Having a FSA card is a wonderful thing.
Daisy and I both have doctor's appointments a week or so before we leave for NC, with a new doctor in a new network (unfortunately), to have physicals and to get prescription renewals set up. I'm also going to ask for a prescription to Chantix (or whatever the generic equivalent is now, I guess) so that I can possibly, finally, get off the nicotine and quit vaping.
Tomorrow afternoon we have our furnace inspection done by the utility board folks. I will need to be awake earlier than usual for it, though this generally isn't a problem. I doubt it will take longer than a few minutes, but it is what it is.
Friday, I get paid.
Saturday morning we take Dolly in for her final shots and final checkup before she's done for the next year. At that time we'll likely have to set up appointments for at least one or two of the other cats for their next round of yearly checkups and vaccines, as the Double Trouble Boys™ will be due in soon.
Hank's eye is, regrettably, looking pretty rough. There's a large cloudy patch covering most of it at this point; it's not a bunch of little spots there anymore but one big, white, cataract-on-the-outside blob. We have temporarily discontinued the steroid (which is, primarily, to clear it up and keep it clear after it's already healed) and have switched back over to the saline and antibiotics for the time being to see if we can stop this in its tracks and get it to clear up. Apparently, even on steroids, flare-ups like this can happen and are considered fairly commonplace. It's just frustrating though, that after fighting this off for nearly a year and finally getting it to completely clear up to where we could say he was at about 95% normal and recovered, to now have a big setback in it with a new flare up.
We also don't know at what point, if it doesn't get better, we should try to get him back to the eye doctor. He has an appointment already set for end of April, but we may have to bump that up if he doesn't improve -- adding to an already busy March where, in the middle of that, we'll have a trip out of state for a week.
Adding to this, this time around it seems like Hank's eye is actually bothering him, where before it seemed like he was just normal Hank with a clouded eye. This time it seems more sensitive and he has been clinging to us for love and support. This is very sweet, of course, but it makes me sad. There's not really anything we can do for pain if his eye actually hurts. The flare-up, by all literature we've read on it, just has to basically run its course and then we treat it with steroids again. We do want to get him in though if it seems like it's not getting better, because maybe there is an alternate treatment or an alternate steroid they could put him on for it. It just takes time, however.
I'm not going to complain about the extra love, though. Hank spent the entire night upstairs with Daisy a few nights ago, kneading on her and kissing her and wanting to be held, completely interrupting her sleep for the night. He's been sleeping with me every day in bed too, usually right next to me in Daisy's normal spot but also sometimes a little closer, or at my feet, and he has really enjoyed what I call "quiet Dad time" in my office with me when none of the other cats are around much more as of late -- this is time where he can be the center of attention and get all the love and rubs, eat as much food as he wants from the bowl on my ottoman, and then pass out and rest peacefully without anyone else around him. I can tell he's not liking the eye thing, and I'm sure he doesn't understand why it's happening. I feel so bad for the big orange man.
Gary has also been incredibly loving and close with me as of late -- he has essentially become my shadow. Now, it was never a secret that Gary was a Daddy's Boy™ -- he has been since we adopted him. While he really loves Daisy, it is quite clear that he is absolutely my son. Wherever I am, he's my shadow. If I'm working, he's in the room with me. If I'm in bed, he's either on me or on the cat tree where he can see me. If I'm in my office, he generally wants to be in here, and if he doesn't, he's in the hallway outside my room so he knows when I come and go. He is an incredibly sweet little man.
He also really loves Dolly and wants to spend as much time with her as he can. He cuddles with her, he plays with her, he grooms her, and he frequently sleeps with her or next to her. As Dolly likes being the center of attention, this is great for her. It's a win-win.
Dolly is very clearly a Mama's Girl™ though. She loves me a lot, but her love for Daisy is something else, something powerful that I've never seen in any other cat other than Pete when he was still with us. She is very strongly bonded with Daisy and it is approaching Pete levels of bonding. It's going to be devastating for her when we're gone for a week in North Carolina; I don't know what Dolly will do with herself during that time. Likely she'll just bond closer with Gary and Charlie, but still.
Anyway.
Our taxes are done and have been done; we have already received the state refund and are expecting the federal refund over the next few days. This is the first year in a few years that we haven't had to owe and are actually getting a substantial refund. It's not a lot -- it's not life-changing money or anything, but it's nice. We've been struggling a little here and there when it comes to bills and groceries -- not horribly or anything, we're not at "either we can eat or pay the electric bill" levels, of course, but we've been tightening the belt line a lot and have been living far more paycheck-to-paycheck than usual. The tax refunds will help with that, and so will the fact that Daisy has two big bonuses coming in -- and got a raise that kicks in at the beginning of March.
I looked into when I am eligible for a merit-based (read: longevity-based/cost-of-living-increase) raise, and because I started when I did, I've got another full year to go before I qualify. Anyone hired during or after March 2025 is not eligible for this go-around. Well, I don't think my first day at this new company -- even though I'm doing the exact same job I've been doing since 2014 -- was until mid-March, so I don't qualify yet. However, I should be getting my chunk of my quarterly bonus on this coming check or on my next one. That's usually a few extra hundred dollars or so. It's supposed to even out to $2500ish a year for bonuses (pre-tax) based on my contract. So, when it hits, even after taxes, it's nice.
Life otherwise is mostly status quo. I just want to survive the week to get a little downtime. I so desperately crave the weekends for some peace and privacy these days, more than ever before. I am getting seriously burned out at work, to the point where I just don't care anymore, I can't care, about these people or their problems or their crises -- or office politics or following process or even answering my phone. I'll sit there and stare at my phone and watch it ring -- if it's important, they'll leave a voicemail...or, like they should have done in the first place, they'll send in an email. None of it matters.
I had a phone conversation over the weekend with my big boss, my executive director, where I essentially asked him "you're reaching retirement age, why do you keep doing this to yourself?" in a more indirect way. He responded that his position pays him enough to where he can go buy stacks of laptops and tablets from pawn shops and thrift stores and donate them to kids in foster care or otherwise wards of the state in, I guess, orphanages and the like, so that they have computers and can better function in normal society. If I didn't know this man as well as I do, I'd think that he was making it up, that it was complete bullshit -- but I know he's telling the truth. Many people have tried to villainize my executive director over the years, for one reason or another, and usually for reasons outside of his control. After all, we are always going to be the villain in someone's story, and I am not immune to that either -- I know several people offhand who would call me the villain in theirs. But, in reality, this man is not a villain, but one of the most upstanding individuals I've ever met. I am proud to work for him and with him; he has saved my job on numerous occasions, and I wouldn't be where I am in my career today if it were not for him. Is he perfect? No. None of us are. But he tries. He tries really hard.
That does not change the challenges of his job or of mine; I am still chronically understaffed and greatly overworked, doing the jobs of at least three -- if not more -- people every night I'm on shift. That's a systemic issue, it's a budgeting issue with our new company. While I like this new company more than the last, it's primarily because they pay more and are far less intrusive in our daily lives than the old one was. With that detachment, however, comes issues with staffing and resources. I'm sure the same can be said for any number of companies out there in similar fields. But I will say, it just wears me down after awhile. I was built for this shit a decade ago; I am not now. My boss -- who started a couple weeks after I did and we worked our way up through the ranks together -- has been a director since long before Covid happened, has been my boss for about 7-8 years at this juncture, and is just as fed up as I am, maybe more. He's looking for ways out, looking for ways to get certified in different fields so he can move up in the world. And I don't blame him -- he would excel in a technical job because while he is good at those things, he is admittedly a piss-poor manager of people.
And I...just have no desire to move up in the world or learn new things, get new certifications, none of that -- I don't have the patience and mental capacity to do that anymore, and I certainly don't want to try to cram my head full of new knowledge that I just don't care about to try to get a "competitive edge" or some other happy horseshit like that. I am tired. I feel so much older than I thought I would at age 43.
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