TCB (or, "The Pauper"), and the Poor Man's Diet

I've actually gotten a lot done over the past two days.

When I'm preoccupied with waiting on my goddamned money to arrive, or anything else that's rather stressful, I tend to busy myself with other things to occupy my time. However, today everything seemed to bore me; there's only so much sleeping I can do, and normally I would be thrilled to have spare time to play video games, but this afternoon I was bored by them. I started making up things to do around the house -- hey, this blanket needs to be washed, or hm, the toilet needs to be scrubbed. Mind you, I have to be really, really restless or bored to want to scrub the toilet (which I did, by the way) or to do any other time/labor-intensive household chores. I told Daisy that I was bored last night, and she told me to read a book.

I've been reading lots of things as of late, really; they help keep my mind off my anxiety and keep me from wanting to pull my hair out in frustration that there is money coming to me that should've been in my grasp earlier this week, but it's taking its slow, sweet time in getting to me. It's the anticipation more than anything else -- yes, I know it's coming. I know I'll have it soon enough. I know I won't have to necessarily worry about my finances past, say, a few days from now...but it's so stressful. I know my luck and know that there are so many things that can always go wrong, and no matter how I try to, I just cannot relax about it or stop worrying that something's going to happen until it's in my bank account. Again, I can't help that I'm survival-oriented.

I've not seen or heard anything from the university about my money, other than the fact that it hasn't posted to my account yet. Today is Thursday. It's a full day after the direct deposits were supposed to have started. Nothing. I seem to recall there was a bit of a delay last spring as well, but I can't remember fully -- once everything goes through I tend to forget about the stress leading up to that moment. Last spring, I think I did have to wait until the weekend before classes started before I actually had the loan money in my possession, but I really can't remember. Again, I know they don't update the student accounts until everything has completely gone through and is on its way to me, but having checked at least twice a day for the past three days now, with no changes and no updates, has left me really frustrated and anxious. I'm trying not to think about it too much, mainly because I know that if it hasn't gone through by the time classes start, it won't be the end of the world, and I'll be on campus, so I'll be able to go over to the actual financial aid office in person and ask them what's up. Still -- it's stressful.

To take my mind off of things, I revised my syllabus for my students and emailed it to the office receptionist -- a good friend of mine and former GTA -- so that copies of it can be made before I teach on Tuesday morning. I also finalized and printed my students' diagnostic essays and the timeline for their first unit of the class, printed a class roster to use before I create a new gradebook for the semester, and created my office hours sheet for the outside of my office door. The vast majority of the work I have to do before the semester starts is now finished, though I'll still have to send the students some messages via Blackboard (which I now have access to, thankfully).

Am I looking forward to teaching again? I...guess? I don't know, really. I like teaching, I really do. I like creating a learning environment that these students enjoy, one that really lets me know that they're getting something out of my class, but I'm definitely not looking forward to grading stacks and stacks of papers and quizzes, or having to deal with students' excuses for why they can't show up to class and/or do the work I assign to them. Yes, that's part of being a teacher, I know, but after a while the excuses just get tedious. When the weather gets nice, they'll all get "spring fever" and will get antsy for the end of the semester, to get outside and the like, and they won't want to pay attention to lectures anymore. It's the same process every spring, really. While I love my job, and love the environment I work in, there are always going to be minor annoyances or grievances I have with wherever I work and whatever I do. This blog was founded, six years ago, on the grievances I had at my job then -- working at a grocery store. So, at least something good, something productive can come out of those proverbial snags and chinks in the armor, right?

I have apparently managed to get myself back on a somewhat normal sleeping schedule -- as mentioned in my last post, I went to bed two nights ago around 10PM and slept until nearly 9AM. I did this again last night, as well. This was pure happenstance, actually -- being sick had thrown off my sleeping rhythms a lot, and I couldn't really get back on them until I stayed awake for almost 24 hours straight. This also serves the dual purpose of needing to be awake over the next few days to get the box from my parents once it arrives in the mail; they said it may take until Saturday, but somehow I doubt it will take that long, and will probably arrive tomorrow. When my parents send those big boxes, they go fairly quickly. It's everything else that goes slowly between West Virginia and here, or vice versa. For example, my friend Amber bought a tie-dye shirt from me about two years ago in the summer. I mailed it to her over Memorial Day weekend, and she didn't actually receive it until around July 4 -- when she did, she told me that the envelope I'd sent it in (a bubble mailer) looked like it had been through hell and back. Stuff like that happens a lot -- I have relatively bad luck when it comes to mail. To know when the mailman comes, I've been slowly sending out bills and other things (such as Publisher's Clearing House envelopes) one or two a day, and have been trying to check when I notice the flag on my mailbox has been put down (indicating the mailman has been here). He tends to come between 1 and 4PM most days, so I just have to be alert and listen/watch for him during those times. If the box doesn't come tomorrow, I have to be home, awake, and alert pretty much all day Saturday to make sure I get it when it arrives, as if they choose not to leave it on my doorstep, I will have to wait until at least Tuesday (because of MLK day) to go to the post office to claim it, and I teach on Tuesday morning -- so I wouldn't even be able to do it until that afternoon when I got back home.

Of course, I'd also like to be able to, y'know, enjoy the things my parents sent me before all of my time is consumed by school again, too. Plus, the clothes that are more than likely in said box are things I would like to wear to teach in -- dressy sweaters and the like that I bought cheaply while in West Virginia.

Daisy is returning from Chicago tonight; she should be arriving back in Omaha any minute now, actually. From all accounts, the three ladies had a wonderful trip, but I'm very glad they're all getting back home safely. I don't yet know if Daisy is going to make it down here this weekend; it depends on how much money she has to spare (read: not a lot) and if she's willing to make the trip after being on the road for so long back and forth from Chicago on the bus. We've talked about it a little bit, with the unsaid implication she'll come, but it's totally up to her -- I'm not going to beg her to come down here after she's been in Chicago all week, nor am I going to be upset if she doesn't want to or can't due to money issues. Believe me, I definitely understand the "money issues" thing right now -- tonight I just paid the other two bills I had which came in earlier this week, draining my bank account a little bit further. I'll have to write out the rent check next week, loans or no loans, which will effectively cut what I have left in half. On top of that, I've been eating very little so that I don't have to get groceries until absolutely necessary -- preparing for the worst and all that. While Daisy and I don't go out to eat when she's in town (this is Kansas, and she's vegan), we usually do go out to the grocery store to get stuff to cook while she's around. If we do that this time, I'll have to use my credit card, and keep my fingers crossed that I get that fucking money soon.

On the plus side, I do have a ton of my famous waffles for me and Daisy to eat for breakfast if she does come into town this weekend -- I bought a six-pound box of Bisquick when I went to Walmart last week, and made a bunch of them a few days ago. I'll make more tonight or tomorrow, more than likely; they're easy and fairly quick to make, and when I'm poor, waffles and peanut butter make an awesome, cheap meal. Because Daisy showed me how to do so, I make them vegan -- Bisquick is vegan. I replace the eggs needed to make batter with flax seed (which works like eggs and gelatinates when blended with water), and use almond milk and a bit of coconut oil. That's it. Whip it together into batter, and pour it onto the waffle iron. Oh yeah, baby. As I've mentioned before, I've been eating a lot more vegan since Daisy came into my life; it's not as hard as everyone thinks it is.

Still, I think it's a bit blasphemous to put Vegenaise (vegan mayonnaise) on a ham sandwich, which I did this afternoon. Eh. Better for me than real mayo, I suppose. I don't eat a lot of meat anymore, mainly because I can't afford it, but I do keep lunch meats in the house. Daisy should still be proud of me, though -- I used to be a total carnivore. Whole milk, eggs, steaks, pounds of bacon, chicken and pork, etc. I don't eat any of those things anymore unless it's a special occasion or unless they're offered to me (such as when I visited her house earlier this month and her father was cooking meat for us meat-eating manly-men). I've also been eating a lot of cereal and oatmeal as of late, both of which are vegan when eaten with almond milk. I cannot describe to you folks how awesome almond milk is. Just take my word for it and get a carton the next time you're at the store.

Because I am generally low on money at any given time, I'm going to describe to you what I call "The Poor Man's Diet," as in, what you can purchase at the store fairly cheaply and live on for a long time without having to worry about starving between paychecks. Here are some of my staples:

• Rice and pastas. No, seriously. You folks were probably expecting this, but let me explain -- you can do a lot of things with a simple bag of rice or a few boxes/bags of pasta (and yes, this includes ramen, don't kid yourself). Load up on these items at the store, and get a variety of them -- spaghetti, egg noodles, salad shells, rotini, etc. A decent-sized bag of white or brown rice will cost you a dollar or so, and will last a long time. Cook and toss this stuff with some spices, a little oil/butter/Earth Balance/etc, and you've got a cheap meal. Add a can of vegetables as well, if you want to jazz it up somewhat.
• Canned or frozen vegetables. Ahem, as mentioned above. If you get store-brand canned vegetables, you'll pay about 50 cents per can. Store-brand frozen veggies are a bit more expensive, but you'll get more in the bag and you don't have to use them all at once. Choose wisely; only buy what you know you will eat and/or cook with, otherwise it's just going to sit in your pantry and/or freezer.
• Bouillon cubes/powders of varying flavors and types. I go generic on these, not the high-end brands -- I find that you can get the best deals on these in the latino foods section of your local grocery store. Get several different kinds; vegetable, tomato, chicken, beef, etc. You can use them to flavor your rice/pasta-based meals above, or use them as a soup base.
• Peanut butter. Should go without saying, but yes. Get as big of a jar as you can for the lowest price. Again, go generic -- people say name-brand peanut butter is better, but it's really not, and you don't have the budget to be picky. Peanut butter is a very good source of protein and good fats, and you can use it for almost anything. I tend to enjoy it on saltines or on the aforementioned waffles.
• Cheap oil/butter/margarine/Earth Balance/etc. Whatever your tastes are. You'll need it for cooking more than anything else.
• Fruits; a bag of apples, oranges, or a bunch of bananas. A bag of apples will run you about $4, oranges about $5. Bananas are really cheap, but don't get more than you can eat over the course of a week, or they'll over-ripen too quickly. Oranges and apples will last in the refrigerator for many months. If you're not a fan of fruits or they're too expensive to get on your budget, get a bottle of multivitamins (which are cheaper and will last much longer in the long run) and take one a day.
• Cereal and oatmeal. As mentioned before, cereals and oatmeals, depending on the brand you get, can be very cheap and very filling. A box of Walmart-brand oatmeal packets, in a variety of flavors, is about $2. Store-brand generic cereals are about the same price. Again, choose carefully so that you can get something that you will enjoy eating for as long as it lasts, and don't get something too sugary or too fancy -- I've always been a big fan of normal Raisin Bran or Rice Krispies. 
• Bologna. Some people may retch at this, but if you must have some sort of meat in your diet, as processed as it is, bologna will do the trick -- it's cheap, too. A pack of Bar-S or Gwaltney's bologna will run you about a dollar. Hot dogs and buns, if you get the store brand, will run you about $1 each as well.
• Other meats and cheeses. Purchase sparingly, or your grocery bill will soar. If you must have steak, chicken, or pork, splurge and get a bulk pack of it for about $10-15 or so. It will be expensive, but you can separate said bulk pack into individual servings in freezer bags, and only use what you need when you need it. It'll last you weeks this way.
• Breads. Store-brand only, and always try to get whole wheat if at all possible. Another good thing to do is to wait until your local grocery store puts out all of the bakery reduced items, where their fresh-baked bread prices will be cut in half, and buy whatever you want, need, and can afford -- then freeze what you're not going to eat immediately. 
• Coffees and teas. I may get a bit of hate over this one, but really, don't be picky. Most coffees taste relatively the same, so most of the time you can get generic and be just fine. Tea is even more uniform; if you like tea, don't get the expensive flavored ones, but get a $1 box of teabags of either green or black tea, and if you must, sweeten or flavor it yourself with whatever you have on hand. Some people may say that coffee or tea is a "luxury" that people on a budget cannot afford; I would say to them that if you're as caffeine-dependent as I am, fuck you, I'll starve and/or give up other food items to have the ability to brew fresh coffee or a pot of tea when I need it.
• Stop drinking soda. Soda is a luxury. If you must have some sort of sugary, cold drink in your home, buy a bag of sugar and several packets of Kool-Aid. It'll last much longer and will probably be cheaper than a 12-pack of soda. And in case you haven't noticed recently, the price of soda keeps going up every year.
• Cut out alcohol. Also should go without saying. Alcohol is expensive and does not do a lot for your survival levels. The object here is to only purchase what you need to keep your stomach full, while cutting out as many extraneous items as possible.

I could make this list go on forever, really, if I wanted to. I will also add that this is just for foodstuffs; another great tip I definitely recommend (because I do it myself) is to get your other necessities for life as cheaply as possible at discount grocery stores or places like Dollar Tree. There's no reason to pay $4 for a bottle of shampoo/conditioner/body wash when you can get some at the Dollar Tree for a buck. The same goes for other household items -- deodorant, toothbrushes/paste, freezer bags/aluminum foil/garbage bags, laundry/dish detergent, assorted spices (most of which the Dollar Tree has 2/$1), toilet paper/paper towels, etc. The Dollar Tree has chips, crackers, and nuts if you need something around the house to snack on, as well. It's not uncommon for me to spend $50 or $60 there on one trip, and be set on a lot of those items for 4-6 months. Buy what you need, be smart, and be cheap, and you can survive on very little money. It just takes practice and the ability to budget, as well as the realization that you don't need the name brands on anything you purchase. It also takes a bit of creativity and ingenuity, too -- for example, did you know that you can use normal dish liquid in a dishwasher (instead of having to purchase special detergent or those little pacs for it)? You can. You just have to use a lot less -- a 50-cent piece-sized dollop in the soap compartment should do you fine. You can use dish soap to do your laundry, too -- I recommend something green apple or lavender-scented, or use a few squirts from your $1 bottle of (much-better-smelling) shampoo instead of a $10 bottle of chemical-filled laundry detergent. It works. Trust me, I know -- I've done this for months.

I'll leave you folks with that; I will keep you updated over the next few days on what happens with Daisy's possible trip down here as well as when my student loans come in.