Stocked and Loaded, Part I

Last night, after the conclusion of my previous post, I sat here at my desk for a moment to think. I had two options -- I could either go out to Walmart then and get the stuff I needed to take care of the drain situation, or I could go to bed, get up, and go fight the Sunday afternoon crowd.

Sigh. I don't want to do that. Fuck. Looks like I'm doing it tonight.

I got up, got dressed, and at 4:10 in the morning got into the Monte Carlo and went to Walmart, where I was one of only three customers in the store.


Big bottle of Drano Max Gel: $6.98.
Three bottles of Drano Foaming Pipe Snake at $3.87 each: $11.61.
One gallon of white vinegar: $2.38.
The biggest box of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda I could find: $2.24.
One gallon of bleach: $3.24.
One 10-quart bucket: $1.98.
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Grand total for drain-cleaning justice: $28.43.


It wasn't until I'd gotten home that I realized I'd forgotten to get more new towels. And, because I got the other stuff, I didn't get the 2L bottles of Coke. But I did, however, purchase two new Hawaiian shirts. Because, after all, I'm me. Go figure.

The foaming pipe snake is guaranteed to clear any clog. It says so right on the bottle. I have three bottles of it to try on the two different drains, as well as a third as an extra (oh yes, I planned this out). If that can't get it, the massive bottle of "Max Gel" stuff will. I've found recipes to mix the baking soda and vinegar in the proper proportions so that it won't hurt the pipes as well (something Daisy was worried about) in case I need to use that too. The bleach is to clean out the drains, especially the one in the closet of the cat room, before and after the flushing procedure. The bucket is to be able to put water in the drains so that the stuff can work -- plus, I needed a bucket around the house anyway. For...um...bucket-y things.

I decided, after checking the drains again to make sure that they'd completely emptied and dried, that I would wait until I got up in the afternoon before I went on the attack. In addition to the tools and chemicals listed above, I also have a pair of industrial rubber gloves (purchased long ago, for when I make tie-dyes) and a tough, awesome plunger. Hopefully the latter won't be necessary.

"Why don't you call the landlord?" Daisy asked me. "Because this is really his issue."

Again, I really don't want to bug the man for something I should be able to take care of myself. Spending $28 on some drain-flushing things is a lot cheaper than him calling the Roto-Rooter people out to the house. If this doesn't work, that may happen anyway, but I want to at least try to fix it myself if at all possible. My landlord's been really good to me over the years -- I don't want to bother him unless absolutely necessary, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've ever had to call him about anything. I'd like to continue that trend if at all possible.

Mind you, I knew going in that this could go very badly; I don't know, again, exactly where this clog is, or why it disappears for a while before reappearing and causing problems again. Up until last night I was sure that it was a drain field issue, after all -- but I did know that it was somewhere between the washer and the drainage for the house, which means that it was probably in the main drainage line somewhere. If that's the case, I figured, then, theoretically, putting this stuff in *any* drain in the house should at least do *something* to help clear it. I simply wanted to put it in the closest drain(s) possible.

Also mind you that I am not a plumber. For a man of age thirty, I have a rather limited skill set, and that skill set simply does not include plumbing. The most knowledge I know about this is because my parents had a similar issue with their own plumbing, where the pipe would get clogged at the entrance to their septic tank -- but I do not have a septic tank. My system is different if for just that fact alone.

Dammit, Jim! I'm a poet, not a plumber!

Anyway.


Despite my apprehensions and knowledge that my work would not necessarily be pleasant in the least, I resolved to deal with it when I woke up and went to bed. When I awaken, I thought, your clogged ass is mine.

Which, in retrospect, sounds really horrific when taken out of context.

When I awoke, I read the directions on one of the bottles of foaming stuff -- it said to pour the whole bottle down the drain, wait for an hour, and then flush the drain with hot water. Okay, I can do that. So, as a first test, I uncapped it and poured it down the drain under the washer, as that's where I first experienced the drain backing up. I also had that load of wet/dirty towels in the washer which needed to be washed with hot water, so my plan was to, in an hour's time, go down there and start the washer to let it run a load -- and to watch it, to see if it would overflow or visibly back up again. The hot water from the washer would give the drain line the water it needed to flush out whatever was down there. If it worked, it worked, and I'd have some extra bottles of that stuff to use if it popped up again, and I'd use the bucket and bleach to flush out the other drain in the bathroom closet. If it didn't work, or didn't work completely, I thought, well, those extra bottles of stuff would come in useful.

I waited that hour, during which I made coffee, fed the cats, and attempted to wake up a little more, and decided on my backup plan during that time -- if the foamer didn't clear the clog completely, I'd wait until the drain under the washer backed up enough to have water in it, and then I'd stop it, pour the recommended amount of the "Max Gel" down that drain, and once more wait the hour for that stuff to clear it before continuing. I wasn't going to mess with the drain in the cat room closet until I did a little experimentation, especially as I was pretty sure the clog -- or whatever it was -- was out past the washer and not in the drain back there, as the cat room is behind the washer.

When the hour passed, I set the washer for a heavy load, on hot water, at its fullest setting. I needed to do this to clean the towels anyway, obviously, but I also wanted it to be as hot and full as possible to flush that foamer stuff out of the lines, and with it whatever clog there may have been present as well. I let it run its wash cycle and get to the drain cycle -- this was the moment of truth, when I would be able to see if the foamer worked.

On a drain cycle with a full washer of hot water, it didn't come up through the bottom drain under the washer. At all. Didn't bubble up even a little bit. I was amazed. Holy shit. All that, and that's all it needed? A foaming unclogger bottle? I let it fill up again for the rinse cycle and watched it. It went through its rinse cycle fine, as expected, but what I was waiting for was the drain and spin cycle, again, to see what would happen.

It hit the drain cycle and again drained admirably, but I heard gurgling. Wait, what? I looked down at my feet. The washer drain was fine. The gurgling was coming from the drain in the cat room. Again, what? I immediately shut the washer off and went into the cat room to open the closet. I luckily (very luckily) have untiled, concrete floors in that closet, and the drain there was full, bubbled up, but not overflowing.

Hm.

I had assumed, perhaps falsely, that the waste drain would run out of the front of the house into the sewer system, out past the water meter (which is right behind my mailbox), not behind the house and wayyyy under the foundation and back grass. There would be no real reason to do that. But, again, I can't see those pipes or the main line; all I know is where those two drains are.

I began thinking. Okay, the foamer did *something* at least; it either dissolved most of the "clog" or whatever it is, because the washer drain didn't back up and overflow at all this time even on the washer's biggest load. However, the other drain in the cat room is gurgling and filling up, which means that whatever it is, it isn't completely cleared yet. Hm.

I turned off the washer completely and began phase two of my plan -- I poured half the bottle of the Max Gel into the slowly-draining, standing water in the drain in the cat room. If it's backing up there, the clog is somewhere between that and where it drains out into the system -- apparently the foamer got some of it, but not enough. And, again, I'm not sure where the drain system even goes or how it leaves the house, but now I know that this drain is indeed clogged somehow, at least. I am letting that sit before using the bucket to flush it with hot water in an hour or so, in hopes that will clear it completely. Then, I will restart the washer again from the beginning to see what happens.

So, dear reader, my battle continues. It's not over yet. But I'm making headway.